phone calls

[xxnatalixx]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH

Here's a link to my last thread if you need some background. https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/update-big-thank-you-464173.html



Dad is trying to call me, but I'm a bit leary about answering. Honestly, I'm sick to my stomach about it. I don't know if it is actually dad calling or step mom because I told her not to call anymore. Is it ok to just wait for him to leave a voice mail, or should I be answering the phone? When I do answer the phone he just yells at me and then hangs up, or I hang up because he's just yelling at me. I wish I had some way to record the phone calls, but I don't at this point.

 

[haiku]

I didn't look at your other thread-you should probably keep your threads together, and ask it in the old thread.

BUT, there is no reason you can't let ALL your calls go to voicemail. You decide if its worth calling back for or not.

If its not an EMERGENCY involving the kids, that needs your input, you may not need to even call back.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH

Here's a link to my last thread if you need some background. https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/update-big-thank-you-464173.html



Dad is trying to call me, but I'm a bit leary about answering. Honestly, I'm sick to my stomach about it. I don't know if it is actually dad calling or step mom because I told her not to call anymore. Is it ok to just wait for him to leave a voice mail, or should I be answering the phone? When I do answer the phone he just yells at me and then hangs up, or I hang up because he's just yelling at me. I wish I had some way to record the phone calls, but I don't at this point.

Let the calls go to voice mail.

 

[wileybunch]

I agree, let the calls go to voice mail. DH does with his ex. But, then when it's something she wants to ambush him about, she either doesn't leave a message at all or her message says, "Call me." He won't call her back until she actually leaves a message with what she's calling about. But, she's also said she needs to talk him about "A" then when he calls back, it's not that at all, she talks to him about "Z" -- the thing she wanted to ambush him about in the first place. So it's not failproof, but makes life much calmer from her rampages.

 

[xxnatalixx]

I have to add, that I answerd beforeI read these replies.Don't want you guys to think I don't value the advice that I ask for.


Well, I answerd because I was afraid it might be my son. It was. He was crying and said to meet him outfront. I went out front and step mom came up to the door crying. Son was shaking and they both went on to tell me how dad was having a fit and breaking things again. He smashed his car with a sledge hammer and was screaming in son's face that he's a little A**hole. Son had not eaten all day and it was 12:30. Step mom said she had removed her own kids from the house yesterday because dad was acting so crazy and violent. Step mom said she had to make son hurry up and get in the car and drive off because dad was throwing things at the car. Can I get a restraining order against dad for son? I called CPS. They are coming to interview son tomorrow.

 

[Isis1]

Well, I answerd because I was afraid it might be my son. It was. He was crying and said to meet him outfront. I went out front and step mom came up to the door crying. Son was shaking and they both went on to tell me how dad was having a fit and breaking things again. He smashed his car with a sledge hammer and was screaming in son's face that he's a little A**hole. Son had not eaten all day and it was 12:30. Step mom said she had removed her own kids from the house yesterday because dad was acting so crazy and violent. Step mom said she had to make son hurry up and get in the car and drive off because dad was throwing things at the car. Can I get a restraining order against dad for son? I called CPS. They are coming to interview son tomorrow.

get a head start. go down to the police station and make a report. ask them to do a welfare check on stepmom.

 

[xxnatalixx]

get a head start. go down to the police station and make a report. ask them to do a welfare check on stepmom.

I will, right now.

 

[xxnatalixx]

Well, I went down and talked to an officer. He said he'll make a note of in the computer. Does anyone have any clue if I'll actually be able to get a protection order for my son? I know they don't like doing that if there is a custody dispute but I don't know what else I can do to protect my son if Dad does intend on excercising his visitation. He did tell our son that he is an a**hole and needed to go home, but he's done that before. SM is the one who picked him up from the visitation center, and from the sounds of it, dad did not even want her to. I can't stop SM from picking him up because Dad put her on his list of people to pick him up so I don't know what to do now. I am filing for supervised visits tomorrow, but it takes soooo long to actually get into court. Any advice is greatly appreciated! I am suppose to take him to the visitation center Wed. evening for his visit, so I need help quick!

 

[Isis1]

Well, I went down and talked to an officer. He said he'll make a note of in the computer. Does anyone have any clue if I'll actually be able to get a protection order for my son? I know they don't like doing that if there is a custody dispute but I don't know what else I can do to protect my son if Dad does intend on excercising his visitation. He did tell our son that he is an a**hole and needed to go home, but he's done that before. SM is the one who picked him up from the visitation center, and from the sounds of it, dad did not even want her to. I can't stop SM from picking him up because Dad put her on his list of people to pick him up so I don't know what to do now. I am filing for supervised visits tomorrow, but it takes soooo long to actually get into court. Any advice is greatly appreciated! I am suppose to take him to the visitation center Wed. evening for his visit, so I need help quick!

did you ask the officer to do a welfare check? the reason i mentioned it is to have a third party document any damage showing the violent behavior. and noting a child was present, alerts CPS.

 

[xxnatalixx]

did you ask the officer to do a welfare check? the reason i mentioned it is to have a third party document any damage showing the violent behavior. and noting a child was present, alerts CPS.

Yes, and from what I understand they've been there already today. I have some friends that live a couple doors up, so I hear things.

 

[LdiJ]

Well, I went down and talked to an officer. He said he'll make a note of in the computer. Does anyone have any clue if I'll actually be able to get a protection order for my son? I know they don't like doing that if there is a custody dispute but I don't know what else I can do to protect my son if Dad does intend on excercising his visitation. He did tell our son that he is an a**hole and needed to go home, but he's done that before. SM is the one who picked him up from the visitation center, and from the sounds of it, dad did not even want her to. I can't stop SM from picking him up because Dad put her on his list of people to pick him up so I don't know what to do now. I am filing for supervised visits tomorrow, but it takes soooo long to actually get into court. Any advice is greatly appreciated! I am suppose to take him to the visitation center Wed. evening for his visit, so I need help quick!

Maybe stepmom has finally figured out that dad is a problem...or that its time to stop pushing the issue. After all, she brought the child back to you early, was crying herself, and apparently told you what happened.

I would almost bet that no one will show up at the exchange center on Wed. Heck, I wouldn't even be surprised if dad and stepmom are not heading for divorce.

 

[xxnatalixx]

Maybe stepmom has finally figured out that dad is a problem...or that its time to stop pushing the issue. After all, she brought the child back to you early, was crying herself, and apparently told you what happened.

I would almost bet that no one will show up at the exchange center on Wed. Heck, I wouldn't even be surprised if dad and stepmom are not heading for divorce.

They've been heading for a divorce for a looong time. They have both told me that for years. I would like to think they won't show up. They probably won't, but I guess it's been going on for soooo long, it's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that it may actually be over this time. Dad has even told the judge before that he didn't want visitation anymore and then took me back to court a year later. I just want to make sure that doesn't happen again. My son was so shaken up today. I'm so sick of him going through this and his dad telling him it's his fault. Something has got to be done.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well, I went down and talked to an officer. He said he'll make a note of in the computer. Does anyone have any clue if I'll actually be able to get a protection order for my son? I know they don't like doing that if there is a custody dispute but I don't know what else I can do to protect my son if Dad does intend on excercising his visitation. He did tell our son that he is an a**hole and needed to go home, but he's done that before. SM is the one who picked him up from the visitation center, and from the sounds of it, dad did not even want her to. I can't stop SM from picking him up because Dad put her on his list of people to pick him up so I don't know what to do now. I am filing for supervised visits tomorrow, but it takes soooo long to actually get into court. Any advice is greatly appreciated! I am suppose to take him to the visitation center Wed. evening for his visit, so I need help quick!

GO TO COURT TOMORROW MORNING FIRST THING. Get a restraining order against dad protecting your son. I don't normally say this but take the child with you. That way dad cannot go to school and get him. Take a third person to sit with the child. Ask the magistrate to have an ex parte emergency in camera with the child regarding this incident.

ETA: then immediately find a counselor for your child if he doesn't have one. If he does have one contact that counselor.

 

[xxnatalixx]

GO TO COURT TOMORROW MORNING FIRST THING. Get a restraining order against dad protecting your son. I don't normally say this but take the child with you. That way dad cannot go to school and get him. Take a third person to sit with the child. Ask the magistrate to have an ex parte emergency in camera with the child regarding this incident.

ETA: then immediately find a counselor for your child if he doesn't have one. If he does have one contact that counselor.

Thank you! I will be there when the court house opens. I'm sure the magistrate will understand the seriousness of the problem considering Dad just cussed him out last week, so he knows the temper dad has. Can I include my other 2 children in the protection order as well so they are not approached either. (Dad has made comments to my oldest son in the past about me) They are not his children.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you! I will be there when the court house opens. I'm sure the magistrate will understand the seriousness of the problem considering Dad just cussed him out last week, so he knows the temper dad has. Can I include my other 2 children in the protection order as well so they are not approached either. (Dad has made comments to my oldest son in the past about me) They are not his children.

Not unless he has threatened them or done something to cause or make them believe he will cause them harm.