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Picking the kids up from school...

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Carrieoke

Junior Member
I have primary physical custody of my kids and I share legal custody with my ex, we live in Indiana. Can I have the school refuse to let him pick them up? He is picking them up and not letting the babysitter know. This poses a huge problem with lack of communication. I wanted to be certain I have the legal right to do this before I do it. The Indiana Parenting Time guidelines states that on the week night that he picks them up, he can have them for up to 4 hours and must have them returned no later than 9PM. They're bedtime is 8PM so, I would like to have them returned no later than 7:30 which means the earliest he should be able to pick them up is 3:30, school lets out at 2:50pm. Should'nt this stop him...Please give any advice that you can offer.

Thanks,
Frustrated Mom
 


lisagr33

Member
What does the CO say? How often does he get to see the children? I agree that not letting the babysitter know he is picking them up is bad and a lack of communication however it is like you are trying to control when he gets to see them based on your schedule. I am not trying to be mean about this but that is the way I am reading your post.
 

Carrieoke

Junior Member
lisagr33 said:
What does the CO say? How often does he get to see the children? I agree that not letting the babysitter know he is picking them up is bad and a lack of communication however it is like you are trying to control when he gets to see them based on your schedule. I am not trying to be mean about this but that is the way I am reading your post.

CO? I am not trying to control when he can see them but, when the babysitter normally picks them up and they aren't there...this is a problem. I would just prefer that she pick them up from school and he pick them up from her that way there is no confusion due to his lack of communication. It's not just this that he doesn't communicate.
 

lisagr33

Member
Sorry. Court order (CO). Talk to him and tell him that on the weeknight that he is to have them for four hours that you would prefer he pick them up from the babysitter's home and then deliver them to you when the four hours are up. If he does not agree with that, then contact an attorney to see what can be done. I know that it can be expensive for attorneys but some have free consultations. Try talking first and if that doesn't help with the problem do the latter.
 

StepMamainOC

Junior Member
Carrieoke said:
Can I have the school refuse to let him pick them up? He is picking them up and not letting the babysitter know. This poses a huge problem with lack of communication. I wanted to be certain I have the legal right to do this before I do it. The Indiana Parenting Time guidelines states that on the week night that he picks them up, he can have them for up to 4 hours and must have them returned no later than 9PM. They're bedtime is 8PM so, I would like to have them returned no later than 7:30 which means the earliest he should be able to pick them up is 3:30, school lets out at 2:50pm. Should'nt this stop him...Please give any advice that you can offer.

Thanks,
Frustrated Mom
In order for the school to refuse him, you have to have a court order stating this. Have you simply asked him to inform you, so you can be courtesy to the babysitter? Trust me, I'm well aware that's easier said that done! Just wondering. If he is allowed to have them for only four hours in the evening and it's not specified, then he can pick them up at 5pm, the latest. If he picks them up early and the babysitter didn't have to, would it save you money? Work it out to your advantage. If he wants to pick them up later, let the kids stay with him overnight, if he doesn't live too far away. Let your kids enjoy their dad and give yourself some single time or quality time with your new mate! Giving up the struggle is more than 1/2 the fight!
 

casa

Senior Member
Carrieoke said:
I have primary physical custody of my kids and I share legal custody with my ex, we live in Indiana. Can I have the school refuse to let him pick them up? He is picking them up and not letting the babysitter know. This poses a huge problem with lack of communication. I wanted to be certain I have the legal right to do this before I do it. The Indiana Parenting Time guidelines states that on the week night that he picks them up, he can have them for up to 4 hours and must have them returned no later than 9PM. They're bedtime is 8PM so, I would like to have them returned no later than 7:30 which means the earliest he should be able to pick them up is 3:30, school lets out at 2:50pm. Should'nt this stop him...Please give any advice that you can offer.

Thanks,
Frustrated Mom
Tell Dad to call the babysitter if he's going to pick up the children~ so she doesn't make an un-necessary trip...You are talking about the difference of only 40 minutes. (School's out at 2:50 and court order says 3:30)

Plus at least 10 of those minutes are eaten up with the kids dawdling out of school and gathering both of them together to get in the car. :cool:
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Carrieoke said:
I have primary physical custody of my kids and I share legal custody with my ex, we live in Indiana. Can I have the school refuse to let him pick them up? He is picking them up and not letting the babysitter know. This poses a huge problem with lack of communication. I wanted to be certain I have the legal right to do this before I do it. The Indiana Parenting Time guidelines states that on the week night that he picks them up, he can have them for up to 4 hours and must have them returned no later than 9PM. They're bedtime is 8PM so, I would like to have them returned no later than 7:30 which means the earliest he should be able to pick them up is 3:30, school lets out at 2:50pm. Should'nt this stop him...Please give any advice that you can offer.

Thanks,
Frustrated Mom
Realistically, if this went in front of a judge in Indiana...and dad was available to pick up the kids from school on his time...then the judge would give it to him, even if that gave him more than the 4 hours outlined in the guidelines.

However, the judge would require him to either do it consistantly (ie make it his permanent responsibility on his days), or a judge would require him to make proper advance arrangements if it was to be a sporadic thing.
 

casa

Senior Member
LdiJ said:
Realistically, if this went in front of a judge in Indiana...and dad was available to pick up the kids from school on his time...then the judge would give it to him, even if that gave him more than the 4 hours outlined in the guidelines.

However, the judge would require him to either do it consistantly (ie make it his permanent responsibility on his days), or a judge would require him to make proper advance arrangements if it was to be a sporadic thing.

Plus it's not something that would legally have an effect on parenting %/custodial time. So that would clear up an issue or two re; support.
 

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