playing games

[la4lyfe]

What is the name of your state? Va.
I am ncp father and my kids live in La. there ages are 10,12 & 14. The last time I seen my kids were in April of this year. My ex and myself agreed that we would meet in Atlanta to exchange the kids (her idea.) but know she is telling me that they have a dentist appt on July 10 but we agreed to meet on the 8th..My kids have been emailing telling me that they want to come for the summer but there mother is telling that they want to do other things but is really her that don't want them to come..For the simply fact that she don't like my wife..My wife have been nothing but a good supporter for me by letting me try to work this out on my own..My ex have been telling the kids that when its time for them to come and visit that they don't have to follow our rules here at our house and they that my daughter with my wife is not there sister...my ex have been to a Child visitation advocate lady in La, to try to get them to stop me from seeing my kids and for the last 2 visits I have seen my kids on my schedule visitation order,( ? ) Can I get my child support lowered? and is this grounds for a modification of custody? Now, my ex have went to this agency to tell them that my wife has been trying to turn the kids against her. I told them how can this be done if the kids don't live with me and all my wife do is to make sure that the kids are taking care of...I have been trying to file for contempt but from my understanding that the courts in a La parish is being sued and things are backed up from the hurricane and I can't seem to get any results,,another question does it hurt my case any if my wife was to talk to atty on my behalf to explain her side of things and things that she have found out what my ex is trying to do? and helo and direction on this would be helpful..

 

[Ohiogal]

Proper sentence structure would help.

What is the name of your state? Va.
I am ncp father and my kids live in La. there ages are 10,12 & 14. The last time I seen my kids were in April of this year.

First, do you have a court order stating when you get the kids? A court order is NOT a suggestion but an actual order.

My ex and myself agreed that we would meet in Atlanta to exchange the kids (her idea.) but know she is telling me that they have a dentist appt on July 10 but we agreed to meet on the 8th..

If your court order states you get the kids on July 8th, you get them on July 8th. Mom doesn't get to dictate. If the court order states you pick them up in Atlanta you pick them up in Atlanta. If she is not in Atlanta, prepare to drive to her house to get them. Mom does not call all the shots.

My kids have been emailing telling me that they want to come for the summer but there mother is telling that they want to do other things but is really her that don't want them to come..For the simply fact that she don't like my wife..My wife have been nothing but a good supporter for me by letting me try to work this out on my own..My ex have been telling the kids that when its time for them to come and visit that they don't have to follow our rules here at our house and they that my daughter with my wife is not there sister...my ex have been to a Child visitation advocate lady in La, to try to get them to stop me from seeing my kids and for the last 2 visits I have seen my kids on my schedule visitation order,( ? )


Okay if you don't know what your schedule visitation order is, neither do we. What the heck does it say? When are you supposed to get your kids? As for mom interfering, she doesn't have a right to tell the kids they don't have to come or have to listen. It is called parental interference. And is not a good thing.
Can I get my child support lowered?

No. You can't. Good grief. I was beginning to think thatyou were actually concerned about a relationship with the kids but this leads me to believe it is about the money and that is first and foremost.
and is this grounds for a modification of custody?


Could be depending on how much you can prove and how often mom interferes with your visitation.

Now, my ex have went to this agency to tell them that my wife has been trying to turn the kids against her. I told them how can this be done if the kids don't live with me and all my wife do is to make sure that the kids are taking care of...I have been trying to file for contempt but from my understanding that the courts in a La parish is being sued and things are backed up from the hurricane and I can't seem to get any results,,another question does it hurt my case any if my wife was to talk to atty on my behalf to explain her side of things and things that she have found out what my ex is trying to do? and helo and direction on this would be helpful..

Your attorney can speak to your wife about what has been going on. Can it hurt your case? Depends on what your wife has done. And there is no trying to file contempt -- you either file or you don't. Seriously. And your attorney needs to be licensed to practice where you are going to file.

 

[BL]

I would leave your wife out of it , and file contempt , if your Court order states you are to have summer visits , you complied with the requirements of the order , and you were denied .

When you consult an attorney in the Jurisdiction the orders were made , the Attorney may or may not talk to your wife .

You stated we agree to meet in Atlanta . Is that in the Court Order ?

No, you support would not necessarily be modified over one contempt . If it becomes a pattern you may be able to have support suspended during the denials .

 

[la4lyfe]

ok..ohiogal I see that your an english teacher now...Anyway, the court order states that for my visitation that we do meet in Atlanta and she knows this and this has happen for the third time now....And as far as the money goes I was told by an atty a few months back that they can suspend child support if this is something that the mother keeps doing and they see a pattern...So, at this point I see a pattern going...Again must you know that I don't mind taking care of my kids but it is frustrating when you know as a father that your doing everything that you can to try to have a relationship with your kids and the mother is upset because I don't have anything to say to her.....Instead, of her trying to let the kids keep a relationship with me she have them call me to only ask for more $$$ regarding there activities, like cheerleading, and baseball...So, if I am trying to do my part as a father and keep the communication lines open for my kids then she should try to do the same and then maybe just maybe I would not mind trying to something more for my kids....I am planning on filing for a modification for support anyway..because she is making twice as much as I am, so no its not about the money but I am still going to take care of my kids regardless of fthe situtation...I am just tried of hearing and reading about men getting the shortend of the stick when it comes down to seeing our kids....

 

[BL]

Call the Mom up and tell Her that you will be in Atlanta on the 8th as specified , and She had better have the kids ready to go with you for your entitled summer visit .

Inform Her if She does not produce the children you will file appropriate Court Petitions , for Her interference .

As was also told , if She is not in Atlanta with the kids , take your Court Order and go to where the kids are with police escort and get the Kids .

If She still refuses get a police report of the denial .

 

[moburkes]

ok..ohiogal I see that your an english teacher now...Anyway, the court order states that for my visitation that we do meet in Atlanta and she knows this and this has happen for the third time now....And as far as the money goes I was told by an atty a few months back that they can suspend child support if this is something that the mother keeps doing and they see a pattern...So, at this point I see a pattern going...Again must you know that I don't mind taking care of my kids but it is frustrating when you know as a father that your doing everything that you can to try to have a relationship with your kids and the mother is upset because I don't have anything to say to her.....Instead, of her trying to let the kids keep a relationship with me she have them call me to only ask for more $$$ regarding there activities, like cheerleading, and baseball...So, if I am trying to do my part as a father and keep the communication lines open for my kids then she should try to do the same and then maybe just maybe I would not mind trying to something more for my kids....I am planning on filing for a modification for support anyway..because she is making twice as much as I am, so no its not about the money but I am still going to take care of my kids regardless of fthe situtation...I am just tried of hearing and reading about men getting the shortend of the stick when it comes down to seeing our kids....

Okay, you're venting. You didn't answer any of the questions posed to you above. And, as far as proper grammar and sentence structure goes, its much easier to get people to, first, READ your post, and second, UNDERSTAND it, when you write/speak properly. Doesn't THAT make sense? AND, when you're looking for HELP for someone, you don't get snotty with the person that you want HELP FROM? Doesn't that make even MORE sense?

 

[GrowUp!]

ok..ohiogal I see that your an english teacher now...

you'll wind up seeing nobody offering advice since OG IS an attorney.

Anyway, the court order states that for my visitation that we do meet in Atlanta and she knows this and this has happen for the third time now....And as far as the money goes I was told by an atty a few months back that they can suspend child support if this is something that the mother keeps doing []band they see a pattern...So, at this point I see a pattern going...[/b]

Once again, specifics of the english language need to be addressed. Note the bold part. A
"pattern" is something (in this context) that has a 'history', if you will. So for you to say "at this point I see a pattern going" is not the same thing. You can not ask your attorney to file to suspend CS on a hunch, which is exactly what your "at this point" comment is.

Again must you know that I don't mind taking care of my kids but it is frustrating when you know as a father that your doing everything that you can to try to have a relationship with your kids and the mother is upset because I don't have anything to say to her.....Instead, of her trying to let the kids keep a relationship with me she have them call me to only ask for more $$$ regarding there activities, like cheerleading, and baseball...So, if I am trying to do my part as a father and keep the communication lines open for my kids then she should try to do the same and then maybe just maybe I would not mind trying to something more for my kids....I am planning on filing for a modification for support anyway..because she is making twice as much as I am, so no its not about the money but I am still going to take care of my kids regardless of fthe situtation...I am just tried of hearing and reading about men getting the shortend of the stick when it comes down to seeing our kids....

That is why you put your foot down and start dragging her ass into court as far as any interfering with your rights and defiance of the court order.

 

[Ohiogal]

ok..ohiogal I see that your an english teacher now...

Not an English teacher but an attorney. And if I can't understand what it is you are trying to say then I can't answer correctly based on the facts. .

Anyway, the court order states that for my visitation that we do meet in Atlanta and she knows this and this has happen for the third time now...


Then you go by the court order as I have told you and others have told you. You abide by it. How are the days determined as to WHEN you get the kids? Did you have to give proper notice? Is it set out in the court order? HOW? That makes a difference. If the court order specifies dates that is one thing. If it specifies "upon agreement" that is another. What does it say and HOW is it worded -- word for word regarding summer visitation.

.And as far as the money goes I was told by an atty a few months back that they can suspend child support if this is something that the mother keeps doing and they see a pattern..


I dont know of a state in the union that allows child support to be levied as fines because that does not penalize the parent, but rather the child. And visitation and support are two different issues. I could be wrong here but I would be very surprised if the statute states that child support will be suspended for contempt of court in visitation matters.

.So, at this point I see a pattern going...

Then you have to prove that pattern is contempt. You have to prove that mom is the one responsible. You have to prove that mom willingly violated it and go from there. Patterns you see are not necessarily patterns the court will see.

Again must you know that I don't mind taking care of my kids but it is frustrating when you know as a father that your doing everything that you can to try to have a relationship with your kids and the mother is upset because I don't have anything to say to her.....

Well as a parent you shouldn't mind taking of your kids. They are your kids. Not minding taking care of them better be an understatement. But when your first question after all that is "can i get child support lowered" it switches the motive from concern for a relationship with the kids to it being all about the money. Courts do NOT like that.

Instead, of her trying to let the kids keep a relationship with me she have them call me to only ask for more $$$ regarding there activities, like cheerleading, and baseball...So, if I am trying to do my part as a father and keep the communication lines open for my kids then she should try to do the same and then maybe just maybe I would not mind trying to something more for my kids....I am planning on filing for a modification for support anyway..because she is making twice as much as I am, so no its not about the money but I am still going to take care of my kids regardless of fthe situtation...I am just tried of hearing and reading about men getting the shortend of the stick when it comes down to seeing our kids....

Well depending on WHEN you get your visitation according to the order she may be in contempt. And then you can file. But don't expect a monetary payday.

 

[Halls]

haha, an actual attorney told you that mom can get punished my not getting child support for her bad actions? LMAO, that is so not true. And why on earth would you want to decrease the child support anyhow? These are your kids! If you think about it real hard you'd see your dumb idea of keeping money from the mom would actually keep money from the kids. Real smart aren't you? Sorry, no judge is going to allow a child support decreas just cause mom isn't abiding the order.

 

[MrsK]

haha, an actual attorney told you that mom can get punished my not getting child support for her bad actions? LMAO, that is so not true. And why on earth would you want to decrease the child support anyhow? These are your kids! If you think about it real hard you'd see your dumb idea of keeping money from the mom would actually keep money from the kids. Real smart aren't you? Sorry, no judge is going to allow a child support decreas just cause mom isn't abiding the order.

Actually, in Louisiana, if a mom is secreting (hiding) a child so that the other parent can not exercise their visitation rights, you CAN have support suspended.

§315.23. Suspension or modification of child support obligation; secreting of child

If one joint custodial parent or his agent is intentionally secreting a child with the intent to preclude the other joint custodial parent from knowing the whereabouts of the child sufficiently to allow him to exercise his rights or duties as joint custodial parent, the latter may obtain from the court an order suspending or modifying his obligation under an order or judgment of child support. However, such circumstances shall not constitute a defense to an action for failure to pay court- ordered child support or an action to enforce past due child support.

Acts 1993, No. 261, §7, eff. Jan. 1, 1994.


He is confusing that with mom keeping the child from visiting dad. Although, its not far fetched that if mom was doing this on a regular basis, and dad had PROOF, that a judge may modify or suspend the child support as a lesson to mom. Stranger things have happened in this state, I would not be surprised if this could or even DID happen before here.


OP- From now on, you need to get PROOF that your ex is keeping/trying to keep the kids away from you. You need to go to Louisiana and file for contempt. If you think you have grounds for a modification of child support (and it sounds like you may), you need to file for a support modification AFTER running the numbers in a calculator or getting an atty to estimate what you should be paying. They probably wont do too much to her over the contempt b/c this is the first time you will file contempt on her (as far as I can tell from your post) but this will start to establish the "pattern" if she continues to keep the kids from you. Bring any proof you have of her messing with your visitation, the emails your kids sent you saying they want to come, any proof of her alienating the kids from you/your wife or proof of her parental interference (like proof that your ex says they dont have to follow your rules, iF you have that), whatever you can bring that you can hope for the judge to look at. Make sure if the kids dont show up for visitations that you file police reports. From now on, keep very VERY detailed records of what goes on between you & your ex & the kids, etc, it could be helpful for you in court.

 

[Ohiogal]

Secreting is not the same as being in contempt however. And dad knows where the kids are enough to contact mom. If mom doesn't show up in Atlanta and dad travels to LA to see his kids and they are not home then it might START to be secreting.

 

[BL]

Secreting is not the same as being in contempt however. And dad knows where the kids are enough to contact mom. If mom doesn't show up in Atlanta and dad travels to LA to see his kids and they are not home then it might START to be secreting.

I most likely didn't make myself clear about CS suspensions , and it's absolutely correct . The Parent ( usually joint custodial ) would have to with the intent to deny the other parent of visitation rights , PLUS even IF denied , the denied Parent would have to show the Court that they DEMANDED from the other parent either through letter(s) RRR CERTIFIED preferably , or via Court Petitions , of their rights and demands .

It's not black and white .

I've BTDT . and yes my X was found to be in civil contempt , but not criminal ( because the SOL run out ) , and for all those years lost with my children after the X secreted them from me , She was only facing 30 day incarceration ..

As I advices , make a call , it's close to summer visits . Insist your orders be followed . Also follow advice as per going and picking up your children .

BTW , My CS obligations were ordered reserved among the litigants , and any amounts held be returned to me , witch they were ..

For the poster who seems to think that CS should be paid to the other parent regardless ( because it's your child ) , you are wrong . Put yourself in some walking shoes ... If you were denied your times with your kids especially for years , not knowing their whereabouts , do you actually think you would pay money for their care ? Get real ...

 

[la4lyfe]

Thanks for all the advise..I have tapes when my ex stating that her family in La have more rights to visit the kids then I do...so, I have cancel plane tickets when the kids did not come and the atty and judge order her to reimburst me and she still have not from tickets that I purchased in Dec 04 and this was order in July 05. and emails stating that the kids wanted to visit me here in Va..She asked the courts to order me to pay for plane tickets for the kids so I did and she was responsible for the flight attendant fee and she still did not send them knowing they wanted to come .And the courts states that I have to give her a 45 day notice upon receiving the kids which I have done several times. I sent these notification by certified mail and they came back refused and this was the first warning that she got from the judge and the 2nd time she did not send them and the judge told her that they better be on the plane and guess what they wasn't so this is the 3rd time and its the same thing is going on...I am not saying that I don't mind taking care of my kids but I think that she is getting away with me paying to much because she makes twice as much as I do...But, I was told the same thing from an atty in La that child support in La can be suspened due to actions...It's just like she told me that she will not allow the kids to visit me because she don't like my wife...which she does nothing but take care of the kids when they come to visit and she have good relationship with the kids and I guess that when the kids go back to there mom they don't have anything bad to say about my wife...anyway, like my ex told me that she is going to hurt in my in everyway by keeping the kids away from me but like I told her I will survive but she is hurting the kids mentally there the ones that she have to think about....well guys I am trying to get all my evidence together and trying to file for contempt if the kids don't show up this weekend....

 

[Halls]

I am real blond lebinese, no reason fo the insult. Fact is I do believe that children shouldn't be punished for their stupid parents choices so yes I do believe child support should still be paid even if the CP is acting completely wrong.

 

[BL]

I am real blond lebinese, no reason fo the insult. Fact is I do believe that children shouldn't be punished for their stupid parents choices so yes I do believe child support should still be paid even if the CP is acting completely wrong.

" ACTING " ???? Halls you have to familiarize with Laws .

My X " ACTED " like a total fool . I " ACTED " like an idiot at times . No parents are blameless or perfect . There are laws however to protect EACH parents rights to their parent/child relationships , or not .

No insults intended , just plain facts .

Children are not punished , but Parents are . So , the CP works harder to provide , or Custody just may change from one parent to the other .

Your theory is it doesn't matter , the obliger must pay no matter what because of the child(ren ) is wrong as per law .