Please Can Someone Proof Read

[stra8up3]

california

I was wondering if someone could give me there opinion of how this might sound, if it can be improve or even if it is good enough**************.

Dear Judge,
I am writing to you Sir in regards of Jacob Benedict. He was arrested and now faces the charges before you do to the fact that he had taken my car without my permission. At which time I had found it to be necessary that I call the authorities due to Jacob’s drug induced out of control behavior. It is my concern as well as it is my reason for writing to you sir this letter as I feel an obligation that I feel that it is necessary that it be brought to the courts attention and so that the may court recognize the true severity of Jacob Benedict’s mental condition that he suffers from. He, as a typical commonly known symptom does not recognize his disability and in turn thus prevents him from any attempt to seek any means of self help or type of treatment in which he is so desperately is in need of. He has had sever mental issues which go back as far as childhood. At which time he had been treated for with the medication Ritalin. Now as an adult he has not been under any form of treatment nor of any doctors care. Due to the severity of his condition he is not capable to seek help for himself. I ask Sir that the court will take this fact of information in consideration and will exercise the courts power of authorizing to mandate testing and ultimately treatment for his illness.

 

[seniorjudge]

You called the cops.

You got the government involved.

Now you don't want the government involved.

Why?

 

[CdwJava]

The judge in his case cannot consider an ex parte communication such as your letter. His defense attorney can raise any issues that are pertinent at court.

- Carl

 

[moburkes]

Alright, then. There's no point in me pointing out the NUMEROUS grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. Thanks for saving me the time.

 

[seniorjudge]

The judge in his case cannot consider an ex parte communication such as your letter. His defense attorney can raise any issues that are pertinent at court.

- Carl

OR

if you really insist on mailing this letter (which I doubt will do much good), send a copy to the prosecutor and say, at the end of your letter, "I sent a copy of this letter to [name of prosecutor] of the prosecutor's office, at [address], on [date]."

Judges routinely get these letters; most are stopped at the clerk's desk and the judge never sees them.

These kinds of letters are pointless.

Blunt truth time....

 

[stra8up3]

At The Time

At the time I was concerned with my own health and my property. To put it plainly he went off! physically, violently, destructively, as he has in the past. And yes I know I should not have allowed him the chance to repeat. But I did, he really is not an evil person, or better described he has good in him. And by this I am not talking about he can be good, I am talking about true deep heartiness. Basically he has/is of a real and true good heart, I t is just hard to recognize because it being blinded by his outrageous behavior. He feels like he is just a little guy, feeling he has to compete with the big guys. Now I believe that I have gotten way too deep on this whole thing,

I just felt the need to explain after the simpleton response

BUT BACK TO THE REAL IMPORTANCE OF THE MATTER************** and the question is does the letter sound good? good enough can it use improvement? I am open to any suggestions

 

[fairisfair]

At the time I was concerned with my own health and my property. To put it plainly he went off! physically, violently, destructively, as he has in the past. And yes I know I should not have allowed him the chance to repeat. But I did, he really is not an evil person, or better described he has good in him. And by this I am not talking about he can be good, I am talking about true deep heartiness. Basically he has/is of a real and true good heart, I t is just hard to recognize because it being blinded by his outrageous behavior. He feels like he is just a little guy, feeling he has to compete with the big guys. Now I believe that I have gotten way too deep on this whole thing,

I just felt the need to explain after the simpleton response

BUT BACK TO THE REAL IMPORTANCE OF THE MATTER************** and the question is does the letter sound good? good enough can it use improvement? I am open to any suggestions

If you are looking for honestly, no it doesn't sound good. It sounds, first of all, as if you do not have a working knowledge of the English language. There are numerous gramatical errors, punctuation errors, and it does not read well. I am not saying that to be mean, it is the honest truth.
Secondly, it makes your friend Jacob sound like a raving, doper, lunatic. If that is your intention, then this letter will probably get the point across. If, anyone bothers to read it. It also sounds as though you are attempting to diagnose a patient, and I am assuming that you are NOT a medical doctor.
You can plead for leniency for Jacob in a much more direct and effective manner, by leaving out your attempts at trying to write a "legal sounding" letter and by not attempting to diagnose Jacob's medical issues.

 

[stra8up3]

wait a minute

No, I really wanna here the "The numerous gramatical (by the way the correct spelling is, "grammatical") errors, punctuation errors" I really do not really mean to shame you, It just that I use spell check as a crutch cause I am not as good as I can see you really are. I wanted to here what someone else's opinion is and I thank you for it. Now first yes he is a " a raving, doper, lunatic." Now what can I do to help him with that fact? I wrote the best I knew how, I suspected it would not be good enough and this is why I posted it asking for help. I see by what "fairisfair" has said has giving me some help now can you help me to make my letter right please? thank you

 

[stra8up3]

you to "moburkes"

I want to here what you can say to help me in my letter

 

[homebuyinstinks]

I'm sorry but, there are numerous mistakes in your letter. It sounds as if its one big run on sentence and, I for one could honestly not grasp what you were trying to say. Maybe I'm a little slow, but they are right. The letter itself does not read the way it should. I am not claiming that I am good enough to be an English Teacher but, ya know??

 

[Gevalia]

The best advice you can get on this is what the others have already said. Spelling, grammar, syntax, punctuation--this is a very hard letter to understand, and if by some miracle a judge does read it, he's not going to read it for very long. So let's get that out of the way first.

My edited version follows, for what it's worth. I tried to only correct the errors, not the context:

Dear Judge,

I am writing to you regarding Jacob Benedict. He took my car without my permission, at which time I called the authorities due to Jacob’s drug-induced out of control behavior.

I feel obliged to bring the true severity of Jacob's mental illness to the court's attention. A typical symptom is that he does not recognize his disability, which results in his failure to seek the treatment he so desperately needs. He has had severe mental issues since childhood, when he was treated with Ritalin. As an adult he has not received treatment, as he appears to be incapable of seeking help for himself.

I respectfully request that the court will receive this information in consideration of exercising the authority to mandate testing and, ultimately, treatment for his illness.

Now that that's out of the way, you should know that this letter isn't going to do you any good. If the judge wants to hear testimony relevant to the defendant's mental capacity, he certainly isn't going to want to hear it from a medically unqualified friend of the defendant.

If he really is in desperate need of treatment, going to jail just might be the first step to actually getting it.