Please Help Father

[ekatiek]

Texas
My ex is moving from Texas to California and wants to take my 4 year old daughter. After serious thoughts and negotiation, I have decided to let her go, if she agrees to the stipulations. She has sent me papers which are close to what we agreed on. I have a few questions on the wording she put in the paperwork.
She said that after 3 years, we would go to standard over 100 mile visitation schedule. This is fine, but who pays for all travel costs? I want her to have to pay for all costs for visitation. Is this possible?
I just don't want to agree to this and then get stuck paying for all travel or if I don't, not getting to see my daughter.

 

[Ohiogal]

YOU need to make sure the agreement you sign states that SHE pays for all travel costs.

 

[janM]

...and make sure this agreement is filed with the court.

 

[sipa]

Please make sure you do your homework on long distance parenting plans, hell if you just poke around here you will find every aspect of it.

I know I wrote hubby's from research here, relocation is all over the place.

She should be responsible for travel but some of the questions and issues you want to make sure are covered are and not limited too:

Your visitation time, (when and how long) who will pay for travel?

What state will retain jurisdiction?

Who is covering medical care, please make sure you will be listed on medical records as the father so you can obtain information regarding your child.

Schedule phone time with your child, it's important to know you are alotted time to speak to your child.

Who is covering medical insurance, dental and eye?

How and when you will be advised of school information whether it be bad or good information, if you want to be an active part of your childs life you need to know this.

How will childcare costs be divided?

Extra curricular activities whose paying for this, how is it split.

Please, please, please.....cya...

Research research research. I can gaurentee if she wrote it, it is in her favor.

The people here have written on this subject at least a million times, they cover all the bases. I hope you will never have to revisit this issue with her but if you do you need to make sure you have taken care of all this. Situations change other significant others become involved and people and approaches change.

You may want to hire an attorney to at least advise if you have covered your basic rights.

Good luck!

 

[Ronin]

She said that after 3 years, we would go to standard over 100 mile visitation schedule.

Why in 3 years? You should be going to standard over 100 miles immediately unless she is giving you more than that until then.

This is fine, but who pays for all travel costs? I want her to have to pay for all costs for visitation. Is this possible?

Its negotiable. But, as these things go, and unless she earns more than you do, a 50/50 split may be the best to hope for. In my experience, judges in Texas don't have a problem with ordering shared costs, even if the mother created the distance.

I just don't want to agree to this and then get stuck paying for all travel or if I don't, not getting to see my daughter.

It appears as though some aspects of this agreement are a bit too open ended, with you having to bank on her goodwill.

It also appears that, for whatever reasons, you may currently be holding the short end of the stick on current conservatorship and visitation terms with your child. Your stating that she could possibly limit your access to your daughter, and her offering standard after 3 years, suggests this.

You really should talk to an attorney about this if you can. While you say you will let her go if she agrees to your stipulations, it is rarely as easy as saying NO to the move and that's that. You will have to be prepared to go a few rounds in court, with a possibly expensive legal fight on your hands.