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Please help, I don't know

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breebree

Member
I am living in Texas and my alleged daughters father is in NC. I was pregnant and contacted him to tell him he was the father. He denied it because he found out I was sleeping with multiple men at the same time we were "dating". He drove to meet me in texas to do a paternity test which I denied after I agreed to it. After he drove back to NC I never really spoke to him again. I got married about a year later and have been ever since. Fast forward 5 years, I filled for child support and waiting on our first meeting with the state. He hasn't contacted anyone yet but I know if he is the father he is going to want custody, be on the birth certificate, my baby girl to have his last name, and me to be within NC so he can co-parent. Honestly, I just want the money and nothing more from him. I am curious what, if any rights he will have. Can he deny establishing parental rights, child support, etc if I wont allow him to get any of the things he wants? He has no idea I went for child support until the notice gets to him.
 

TheGeekess

Keeper of the Kraken
I am living in Texas and my alleged daughters father is in NC. I was pregnant and contacted him to tell him he was the father. He denied it because he found out I was sleeping with multiple men at the same time we were "dating". He drove to meet me in texas to do a paternity test which I denied after I agreed to it. After he drove back to NC I never really spoke to him again. I got married about a year later and have been ever since. Fast forward 5 years, I filled for child support and waiting on our first meeting with the state. He hasn't contacted anyone yet but I know if he is the father he is going to want custody,
Yes he will get some form of custody/visitation.

be on the birth certificate,
Yes.

my baby girl to have his last name,
Maybe; hyphenated, if he presses it.

and me to be within NC so he can co-parent.
No, but the mutual child will be spending time with her father at his home at some point.

Honestly, I just want the money and nothing more from him. I am curious what, if any rights he will have. Can he deny establishing parental rights, child support, etc if I wont allow him to get any of the things he wants? He has no idea I went for child support until the notice gets to him.
Once the State declares him the father, he will certainly have more rights than he does now. He can file for all the things above, and will get some if not most of them. You won't have a bit of say in the matter.
 

breebree

Member
Thank you for the response! So it won't matter if I previously denied his request for a paternity test in the past?
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I am living in Texas and my alleged daughters father is in NC. I was pregnant and contacted him to tell him he was the father. He denied it because he found out I was sleeping with multiple men at the same time we were "dating". He drove to meet me in texas to do a paternity test which I denied after I agreed to it. After he drove back to NC I never really spoke to him again. I got married about a year later and have been ever since. Fast forward 5 years, I filled for child support and waiting on our first meeting with the state. He hasn't contacted anyone yet but I know if he is the father he is going to want custody, be on the birth certificate, my baby girl to have his last name, and me to be within NC so he can co-parent. Honestly, I just want the money and nothing more from him. I am curious what, if any rights he will have. Can he deny establishing parental rights, child support, etc if I wont allow him to get any of the things he wants? He has no idea I went for child support until the notice gets to him.
Come on...be honest. You're Dad or Dad's GF posting as Mom aren't ya?
 

breebree

Member
No, why? I have some concerns, I wanted to give an honest account of what happened. I wasn't in the greatest mindset back then made some mistakes. I accept what I've done and have no reason to hide it.
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
I am living in Texas and my alleged daughters father is in NC. I was pregnant and contacted him to tell him he was the father. He denied it because he found out I was sleeping with multiple men at the same time we were "dating". He drove to meet me in texas to do a paternity test which I denied after I agreed to it. After he drove back to NC I never really spoke to him again. I got married about a year later and have been ever since. Fast forward 5 years, I filled for child support and waiting on our first meeting with the state. He hasn't contacted anyone yet but I know if he is the father he is going to want custody, be on the birth certificate, my baby girl to have his last name, and me to be within NC so he can co-parent. Honestly, I just want the money and nothing more from him. I am curious what, if any rights he will have. Can he deny establishing parental rights, child support, etc if I wont allow him to get any of the things he wants? He has no idea I went for child support until the notice gets to him.
How's it feel to want his money but then finding out that once paternity has been established, the father is going to have just as many rights as the tramp of a mother has? With the courts involved, you won't have any say so on what he gets and what he won't get. It'll be out of your greedy hands. The court will not care what you want but it will take note of how selfish and greedy you are.
 

t74

Member
Sweetie, Get an attorney and a reality check. Get a counselor for both yourself and your child. Your attitude demonstrated by your postings is troubling and harmful to your child's wellbeing. You and dad are going to have to work together so get used to it.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
No, why? I have some concerns, I wanted to give an honest account of what happened. I wasn't in the greatest mindset back then made some mistakes. I accept what I've done and have no reason to hide it.
smh...

The "might be father" would be a fool if he didn't get a DNA test. After all you don't know he is dad because of your promiscuity. IF he is found to be Dad he will have every right to file for custody/visitation. He will likely be awarded 50% legal custody (decision making).

So...If your child has been deceived into believing that your hubby is her birth father...she will find out. I suggest you tell her the truth and make sure you place her in therapy. She will need it after the huge lie you told her.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I am living in Texas and my alleged daughters father is in NC. I was pregnant and contacted him to tell him he was the father. He denied it because he found out I was sleeping with multiple men at the same time we were "dating". He drove to meet me in texas to do a paternity test which I denied after I agreed to it. After he drove back to NC I never really spoke to him again. I got married about a year later and have been ever since. Fast forward 5 years, I filled for child support and waiting on our first meeting with the state. He hasn't contacted anyone yet but I know if he is the father he is going to want custody, be on the birth certificate, my baby girl to have his last name, and me to be within NC so he can co-parent. Honestly, I just want the money and nothing more from him. I am curious what, if any rights he will have. Can he deny establishing parental rights, child support, etc if I wont allow him to get any of the things he wants? He has no idea I went for child support until the notice gets to him.
He can get just about everything you mentioned except forcing you to move to NC. He would get laughed out of court if he asked for that. He also might not be able to get a last name change since the child is old enough to be accustomed to her last name.

What he can get is joint legal custody (joint decision making). He will start off having to visit in your community to get her used to him, but within a fairly short amount of time he would get at least every other thanksgiving, a week at Christmas, every or every other Spring Break, and the majority of the summer. Court will have to take place in TX as that is where the child resides.

Under no circumstances will you be allowed to call the shots.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
He also might not be able to get a last name change since the child is old enough to be accustomed to her last name.
Keep in mind that the woman actively denied the (putative) father his place in the child's life. This is per the OP's own post. If he is dad (OP doesn't even know), then I would put the odds of a hyphenated last name at more of the "quite possible" level
 
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