I live in Pennsylvania. Currently I'm a single father to an 11 month old daughter. A few months ago when my ex and I split, my daughter came to live with me (my ex made the choice for that to happen.) She made it a point to tell me that I was not the biological father, and that legally I had no rights at all. I've heard from several people that because I signed the birth certificate that legally I did have rights. I've looked online and haven't found anything in terms of telling me either way. If anyone knows the answer, or has been through this can you please help me out?
-
FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.
Please help me out
- Thread starter That_Guy
- Start date
Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills Please click a topic or scroll down for more.
Proserpina
Senior Member
If you have been legally established as Dad, you do have rights - but you'd usually have to go to court to actually exercise those rights once paternity has/had been established.
Has this recently become an issue?
liandrajade
Member
1st-you need to get a dna test to rule out if you are the father or not biologically. do you have reason to believe this child isnt yours or do you know that for a fact?
2nd-unless something is in writing from a judge or court, if you guys are not married, she technically has custody, when a couple is unmarried, it is the mother who has custody until something is made official in court.
3rd- is the child still with you now? why did mom send her to you, you're taking care of her but is trying get you to think this child isnt yours? sounds like there is way more to this story.
2nd-unless something is in writing from a judge or court, if you guys are not married, she technically has custody, when a couple is unmarried, it is the mother who has custody until something is made official in court.
3rd- is the child still with you now? why did mom send her to you, you're taking care of her but is trying get you to think this child isnt yours? sounds like there is way more to this story.
No, he doesn't. IF he LEGALLY established paternity back when, he IS the legal father, regardless of DNA.
Poster, do you KNOW that paternity has been legally established? Was any court order for Child support or parenting time/ custody ever set up?
liandrajade
Member
i know that, i meant to find out to put that concern to rest
Ok, well I want to first of all thank you all for the responses. Next I'll start answering the questions you asked me.
Proserpina, yes it has just recently become an issue it only started to be a problem about a week ago.
liandrajade, her mother decided to get a dna test a few months ago when I was out of town on business. I have never actually seen the results of the that test, so I'm just going off of what she told me as well as her entire family. I do plan to get another one done next week so that I can see for myself. There is nothing, as of now, from a judge, however when her mother brought her to me she said that my daughter would be living with me. Her reasons were that she could not support her financially, which shouldn't have been an issue because I would have gladly given her money for whatever she needed and I did make that known. As for if she's trying to get me to think that the child is not mine, that's hard to say. She tells me all the time that she's my daughter, but she also says all the time that I'm not her real father. So I'm not sure what her intentions are with those statements, I've always viewed the child as my daughter, and that will never change.
nextwife, as I said above the mom says that a DNA test was done, I have never been able to view the results myself. So I can't verify if it has been done or not up to this point. There has been no court order put in place to date, since the mother and I split it's been very open. I have had my daughter living with me, but I have told her mother that anytime she wants to see her, or take her to see her family, keep her overnight, anything like that, that I would remain open and work with her on it.
The thing that really gets me is, for 4 months now I have raised my daughter on my own. Never asked her mother for anything, not money, clothes, anything, all I asked was that she still spend time with her daughter. In 4 months, and yes I have kept a detailed log of this, her mother has seen her a total of 30 hours. There was another guy, which is why we split to begin with, who recently took his own life. Ever since then her mother still has not started to see our child anymore then before, but now all of a sudden she wants to have her full time.
But again, I would like to thank you for the responses, I look forward to hearing what other advice you can give me.
Proserpina, yes it has just recently become an issue it only started to be a problem about a week ago.
liandrajade, her mother decided to get a dna test a few months ago when I was out of town on business. I have never actually seen the results of the that test, so I'm just going off of what she told me as well as her entire family. I do plan to get another one done next week so that I can see for myself. There is nothing, as of now, from a judge, however when her mother brought her to me she said that my daughter would be living with me. Her reasons were that she could not support her financially, which shouldn't have been an issue because I would have gladly given her money for whatever she needed and I did make that known. As for if she's trying to get me to think that the child is not mine, that's hard to say. She tells me all the time that she's my daughter, but she also says all the time that I'm not her real father. So I'm not sure what her intentions are with those statements, I've always viewed the child as my daughter, and that will never change.
nextwife, as I said above the mom says that a DNA test was done, I have never been able to view the results myself. So I can't verify if it has been done or not up to this point. There has been no court order put in place to date, since the mother and I split it's been very open. I have had my daughter living with me, but I have told her mother that anytime she wants to see her, or take her to see her family, keep her overnight, anything like that, that I would remain open and work with her on it.
The thing that really gets me is, for 4 months now I have raised my daughter on my own. Never asked her mother for anything, not money, clothes, anything, all I asked was that she still spend time with her daughter. In 4 months, and yes I have kept a detailed log of this, her mother has seen her a total of 30 hours. There was another guy, which is why we split to begin with, who recently took his own life. Ever since then her mother still has not started to see our child anymore then before, but now all of a sudden she wants to have her full time.
But again, I would like to thank you for the responses, I look forward to hearing what other advice you can give me.
from the looks of it, mom has sole custody by default.
you need to head down to the courthouse file to establish paternity/visitation/custody/support. you need to request temp orders for custody based on status quo.
why do you feel mom is unfit to retain full custody of the child?
i got to be a bit honest, mom dealing with the death of a loved one, mom DID do the right thing by allowing you to take care of the child while going through her mourning process.
you need to head down to the courthouse file to establish paternity/visitation/custody/support. you need to request temp orders for custody based on status quo.
why do you feel mom is unfit to retain full custody of the child?
i got to be a bit honest, mom dealing with the death of a loved one, mom DID do the right thing by allowing you to take care of the child while going through her mourning process.
I had custody before the death of the other man. As for why I feel she's unfit. There's the fact that she has abused pills while in care of our daughter. She has had her friends watch our daughter on days that she didn't work, she admitted she didn't want to deal with her on those days. She has also been under the influence of alcohol during times that she has been in care of our daughter.
what documentation do you have that mom abused drugs? arrests? convictions? rehab?
Can you explain this sentence?
And what exactly is the reason you want to keep child from Mom now that she wants to take her daughter back because in your own words you said she could see her, take her overnight, etc, you would be open to working with her on this? So now that she has said she wants to take her what is the problem?
What I meant by that statement is her mother still shows no interest in spending time with, or seeing her child. But she says that she wants to have our daughter live at her house, as opposed to mine.
And I'm not trying to keep her from her daughter, I want her to be a part of her daughter's life. I don't think that our daughter should have to live with her for that to happen. If it seems like I have somewhat of a problem with that, it's mainly because I know the amount of time that I'd get to see my daughter would be very low if her mom had anything to say about it.
And I'm not trying to keep her from her daughter, I want her to be a part of her daughter's life. I don't think that our daughter should have to live with her for that to happen. If it seems like I have somewhat of a problem with that, it's mainly because I know the amount of time that I'd get to see my daughter would be very low if her mom had anything to say about it.
by going to court and establishing your rights, takes mom's say about that.
look, your argument is really weak. i'm not saying that to pick on you, but to help you.
one post you say mom can take the child back and forth as much as she wants, have overnights, all that jazz. then the next post, mom abuses drugs and is intoxicated around the child making her unfit. you need to pick a side of the fence here.
Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!
Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">