VirginiaMom
Member
What is the name of your state? VA
First, I blew it. When we went to the custody hearing I was 8 months pregnant by another man. Although I was my son's PCP and a loving mother, my son's father got primary custody and I got what a non-interested father would have received. We have joint legal. We both live in the same town where I grew up and he has been 15 years.
All I could do was somehow make things as good as possible, so for the past 2 1/2 years (the youngest's age now) I have done whatever I can think of to ease the pain for my kids and family. I don't date so they won't have to endure more drama. I utilize all awarded time (2 long weekends a month) and any add'l time Father offers, which thankfully was fairly extensive first 2 years so he could continue having a life. I am active in my son's school. We talk on the phone regularly. Despite limited time together, he is a major part of our family. I am buying the marital home, nice neighborhood, yard, son has own room, daughter has own room, grandparents and cousins are here locally, I don't drink, smoke, do drugs/medications, great health -- I really just want to raise my kids.
March 2005: I changed jobs in anticipation of son starting Kindergarten in fall. Now I can work from home 80% of time with flexible hours, and be free when son is out of school. Surprise, Father ignores my requests to discuss school options, just enrolls him in the school in his county. My new attorney (who is excellent) can't get us on the docket. Finally get a date for Dec 2005, and a GAL, to revisit custody given the change in circumstances (my new flexibilty in work hours).
Meanwhile, son starts K and has 15 referrals, 10 susp days in 3 months. In Dec 2005 judge won't change custody but okays me having son after school instead of him going to daycare. Blessing! I get to see him almost every day. He is happy, I am happy, his 2 1/2 yr old sister is happy. Best of all, my son instantly goes from 50% to 85% good days. No more referrals. No more suspensions.
NOW, yesterday. Father informs me he intends to relocate to his hometown in Ohio in 30 days, with son, middle of the school year notwithstanding. We will go from living 10 minutes away to 600 miles apart because Father did not enjoy his job. He actually resigned a high paying job to accept a job in Ohio that is a step down. Plans to move in with his parents and commute an hour each way. He is a hotel mgr so already works 8 - 10 hour days and some weekends. Now he's adding 2 hours a day drive time. Our child will likely spend less time with his dad than he already does -- apparently the grandparents who he has seen 5 or 6 times in his life will watch him.
Sorry for the novel! My question --- other than filing the TRO and objection, WHAT can and should I be doing to prepare a good case for the court? The dad has prevailed previously and that seems to weigh heavily, certainly did last December when no one wanted to change the status quo.
Thank you in advance for any advice and thoughts and suggestions on how to prevent this relocation, and hopefully reverse custody.
PS - My ex said that even if the court denies him the ability to take my son, he himself is moving.
First, I blew it. When we went to the custody hearing I was 8 months pregnant by another man. Although I was my son's PCP and a loving mother, my son's father got primary custody and I got what a non-interested father would have received. We have joint legal. We both live in the same town where I grew up and he has been 15 years.
All I could do was somehow make things as good as possible, so for the past 2 1/2 years (the youngest's age now) I have done whatever I can think of to ease the pain for my kids and family. I don't date so they won't have to endure more drama. I utilize all awarded time (2 long weekends a month) and any add'l time Father offers, which thankfully was fairly extensive first 2 years so he could continue having a life. I am active in my son's school. We talk on the phone regularly. Despite limited time together, he is a major part of our family. I am buying the marital home, nice neighborhood, yard, son has own room, daughter has own room, grandparents and cousins are here locally, I don't drink, smoke, do drugs/medications, great health -- I really just want to raise my kids.
March 2005: I changed jobs in anticipation of son starting Kindergarten in fall. Now I can work from home 80% of time with flexible hours, and be free when son is out of school. Surprise, Father ignores my requests to discuss school options, just enrolls him in the school in his county. My new attorney (who is excellent) can't get us on the docket. Finally get a date for Dec 2005, and a GAL, to revisit custody given the change in circumstances (my new flexibilty in work hours).
Meanwhile, son starts K and has 15 referrals, 10 susp days in 3 months. In Dec 2005 judge won't change custody but okays me having son after school instead of him going to daycare. Blessing! I get to see him almost every day. He is happy, I am happy, his 2 1/2 yr old sister is happy. Best of all, my son instantly goes from 50% to 85% good days. No more referrals. No more suspensions.
NOW, yesterday. Father informs me he intends to relocate to his hometown in Ohio in 30 days, with son, middle of the school year notwithstanding. We will go from living 10 minutes away to 600 miles apart because Father did not enjoy his job. He actually resigned a high paying job to accept a job in Ohio that is a step down. Plans to move in with his parents and commute an hour each way. He is a hotel mgr so already works 8 - 10 hour days and some weekends. Now he's adding 2 hours a day drive time. Our child will likely spend less time with his dad than he already does -- apparently the grandparents who he has seen 5 or 6 times in his life will watch him.
Sorry for the novel! My question --- other than filing the TRO and objection, WHAT can and should I be doing to prepare a good case for the court? The dad has prevailed previously and that seems to weigh heavily, certainly did last December when no one wanted to change the status quo.
Thank you in advance for any advice and thoughts and suggestions on how to prevent this relocation, and hopefully reverse custody.
PS - My ex said that even if the court denies him the ability to take my son, he himself is moving.
