Please Help me!

[styl4u64]

What is the name of your state?N.C. I received an email today that my ex-boyfriend and his "new fiance', second one in 10 months hired a mediator of their choosing and also a child psychologist for my 4 year old. I feel I need a lawyer and have consulted one and sent them an email that I would be using a lawyer thru the courts and do not choose to go with a mediator. I have taken care of my daughter solely with father having weekend visits all this time with no child support and now that he has this new fiance that can't have children, he is pushing to have my child Tues-Friday and me have her Sat-Mon, Of course I will not agree to that and I feel that the only way I can get thru this is with a lawyer and courts. Can anyone tell me if I HAVE to go to the mediator or do I have the choice of a lawyer and court? I'm so afraid, and this has just happened this morning. Please HELP!

 

[BL]

Did you have a court date ?
Did the Judge grant The X an opportunity to have a mediator and physiologist ?

How did this come about ?

 

[styl4u64]

Did you have a court date ?
Did the Judge grant The X an opportunity to have a mediator and physiologist ?

How did this come about ?

No court date and no ordered psychologist. They are doing this on their own. I told them that I do not agree and I want to have my lawyer and go to court and I did not agree on the child psychologist, in which they replied that they can take the child to the psychologist if they wish. I applied for child support and we go next week, and all this has occured since I applied for support. I haven't filed for custody as my lawyer suggested to wait and let them apply and then we can answer. So do I have to go to their mediator they chose without orders? THANK YOU

 

[BL]

No. Fallow your Lawyers instructions.

If they fallow through with the physiological eval. , then have your Lawyer file a motion for an independent evaluation ( you may have to pay for ),and ask the court to appoint a Guardian Ad Litem for the child.

It's not unusual for another party to file a Visitation Modification when the other files for Support.

Each case is different.

Wait and file answers to their Petition , and have your lawyer file the other motions and request .

 

[styl4u64]

No. Fallow your Lawyers instructions.

If they fallow through with the physiological eval. , then have your Lawyer file a motion for an independent evaluation ( you may have to pay for ),and ask the court to appoint a Guardian Ad Litem for the child.

It's not unusual for another party to file a Visitation Modification when the other files for Support.

Each case is different.

Wait and file answers to their Petition , and have your lawyer file the other motions and request .

Thank you,, can you tell me what a Guardian Ad Litem is? This is all new to me and I'm so lost and scared, like I said, this was never a problem since this new g/f came in the picture and child support came in to play, thank you so much for helping me!

 

[BL]

The court would appoint ( request one ) a Guardian Ad Litem ( may be called by another name in your State ) . It is an Attorney appointed by the court to represent the CHILD(ren)'s legal and best interest , not the adults.

This attorney would interview certain parties to the case,evaluate any reports, and make recommendations to the court what should be included in the orders for the child's best interest.

It does not mean the Judge has to go along with the recommendations of any evaluator . It is ultimately up to the Judge to decide .

 

[nextwife]

Forgetting about the GF, because lots of people who can't make babies can still have a family with children, now that your child is a bit older, it is not so outrageous for dad to feel he is more likely to get the court to give him somewhat more equivilant time to what you get to have. Many fathers share their child more than EOW and one night a week. REsearch seems to support that it is BETTER for a child to have more time with the other parent than standard vistation provides.

 

[audster]

How's about a simple counter-offer? something like "every other week" or "every other month"?

 

[nextwife]

What a concept! A child being raised equally by both their parents!

But, you know, ex probably wasn't thrilled about the pregnancy, maybe even dared to want a DNA test before accepting paternity, so how dare he EVER think he should then ever have a right in the future to co-parent their child together.

 

[styl4u64]

What a concept! A child being raised equally by both their parents!

But, you know, ex probably wasn't thrilled about the pregnancy, maybe even dared to want a DNA test before accepting paternity, so how dare he EVER think he should then ever have a right in the future to co-parent their child together.

Yes he suggested abortion! I do not believe in it and I'm an 'older mother',, my other child was 9 when I conceived. Keep in mind he has a son 'by marriage' he abandoned and ordered $6.00 a week child support he doesn't pay that is 12 yrs. old now.

 

[Terence Beckham]

What a concept! A child being raised equally by both their parents!

But, you know, ex probably wasn't thrilled about the pregnancy, maybe even dared to want a DNA test before accepting paternity, so how dare he EVER think he should then ever have a right in the future to co-parent their child together.

Do you not think this should be about the child having equal time with his/her parents and not about how you feel about the Father? i.e -how dare ever think etc

I find it so sad that parents on this forum seem to think the children are the trophy of who won the 'break up battle'.


Also there seems to be some connection here between a new girlfriend coming on the scene and a child support application...it all sounds like typical revengeful/scornful thinking.


Your child needs both parents and equal time is the ideal...do that for your child and put your own spite to one side. you will be a better person for that.

 

[styl4u64]

Do you not think this should be about the child having equal time with his/her parents and not about how you feel about the Father? i.e -how dare ever think etc

I find it so sad that parents on this forum seem to think the children are the trophy of who won the 'break up battle'.


Also there seems to be some connection here between a new girlfriend coming on the scene and a child support application...it all sounds like typical revengeful/scornful thinking.


Your child needs both parents and equal time is the ideal...do that for your child and put your own spite to one side. you will be a better person for that.

I applied for child support after 4 yrs. of NO support, the problems STARTED after I applied for support:
It seems you are answering to 'other poster's comments' and remarks. I got a very nasty email that said the new 'g/f' says that they will be able to 'provide more than I would so therefore they should have custody'. The father has never supported my child and he's engaged the 2nd time in 10 months and has told my child to call both 'fiances' stepmom. She's 4 yrs. old and he's had her in both women's homes living off them. My lawyer was very happy to 'read' the very lengthy letter that amounted to her saying 'she has the money to give my child the best, I don't, so the courts would grant them custody. I own my own home I bought myself and have paid for all costs to my child with no help and never miss work and am self-employed for years in the same field. Where as her father has had job after job or NO job and abandoned his other child and doesn't support him either. And goes from woman to woman to help 'pay his way'. There's more to the story but too lengthy for all details of this case. I've had my daughter in our home the whole time, I refuse to give him 'full custody' just because he found a woman who can't have children and now they want mine. Part of the email said, 'we appreciate what you've done for your child til now, but we (g/f) can provide better than I can. My ex works part time and got his ex-fiance to pay for college in IT field and that ex is now suing him for the 'loan' she gave him to go to college. I was hoping someone may understand my point of view here. I don't appreciate a g/f of 5 months coming into our lives saying she's coming in and filing 'full custody', I hope you understand and can see why I'm upset and emotional about this.