Please help me!

[wolfcreekgal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wyoming

It's been four months now since my ex left the state of Wyoming (where our original CO was established) with our four year old son. He was awarded primary physical custody and we have joint legal.

My visitations went from EOW and constant "babysitting" to two times a year as CP says he "can't afford to get him to me for a day or two at a time" even though the CO states I am to have him much more often than this.

I have consulted with several attorneys who tell me I don't have enough evidence yet and refuse to take the case. I have over 22 phone recordings (at attorney's suggestion) that clearly indicate ex is manipulating child. In some of them ex is so drunk he can't even talk and our son is right there with him. In some of them he is telling our son to "hang up now" after less than a minute of conversation.

CP has called my house, when I am not home, and left messages saying "guess your mommy doesn't want to talk to you" and our son can be heard crying in the background.

CP has our son enrolled in a large daycare setting (in Illinois where he now lives) and tells me my name is nowhere on the paperwork and it's "not my concern" what he's doing there. He has taken our son to the doctor and it is our son who tells me about it, not him. When I try to find out from CP what doctor our son has seen, he tells me again "it's not your concern".

I raised this child from birth as a stay-at-home mom and, up until four months ago, saw him constantly. I did have him for the summer, but his father called him all the time telling him to "tell mommy to take you here and there and buy you this and that". His new wife even sent me an email asking me to take son to a birthday party for HER grandchild since THEY moved and couldn't go themselves! CP called son to "make sure mommy takes you". Son BEGGED to go this party after that, crying and all, and I felt very awkward as I didn't know these people from Adam. This woman was the same one ex left me for and I didn't feel it was my responsilibity to see that our son went to a party for HER family, particularly during my limited parenting time. Son ended up going to the party to appease him.

I am ready and raring to face the same judge I lost to before "pro se", but I need to know if CP has to have copies of all the recordings I have or can I present them in court without his knowledge. That might sound like a crazy question, but I know the CP well and don't want the only evidence I have dismissed because he had no prior knowledge of it.

Thanks so much for any help!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Isis1]

you REALLY need an attorney.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wyoming

It's been four months now since my ex left the state of Wyoming (where our original CO was established) with our four year old son. He was awarded primary physical custody and we have joint legal.

My visitations went from EOW and constant "babysitting" to two times a year as CP says he "can't afford to get him to me for a day or two at a time" even though the CO states I am to have him much more often than this.

I have consulted with several attorneys who tell me I don't have enough evidence yet and refuse to take the case. I have over 22 phone recordings (at attorney's suggestion) that clearly indicate ex is manipulating child. In some of them ex is so drunk he can't even talk and our son is right there with him. In some of them he is telling our son to "hang up now" after less than a minute of conversation.

CP has called my house, when I am not home, and left messages saying "guess your mommy doesn't want to talk to you" and our son can be heard crying in the background.

CP has our son enrolled in a large daycare setting (in Illinois where he now lives) and tells me my name is nowhere on the paperwork and it's "not my concern" what he's doing there. He has taken our son to the doctor and it is our son who tells me about it, not him. When I try to find out from CP what doctor our son has seen, he tells me again "it's not your concern".

I raised this child from birth as a stay-at-home mom and, up until four months ago, saw him constantly. I did have him for the summer, but his father called him all the time telling him to "tell mommy to take you here and there and buy you this and that". His new wife even sent me an email asking me to take son to a birthday party for HER grandchild since THEY moved and couldn't go themselves! CP called son to "make sure mommy takes you". Son BEGGED to go this party after that, crying and all, and I felt very awkward as I didn't know these people from Adam. This woman was the same one ex left me for and I didn't feel it was my responsilibity to see that our son went to a party for HER family, particularly during my limited parenting time. Son ended up going to the party to appease him.

I am ready and raring to face the same judge I lost to before "pro se", but I need to know if CP has to have copies of all the recordings I have or can I present them in court without his knowledge. That might sound like a crazy question, but I know the CP well and don't want the only evidence I have dismissed because he had no prior knowledge of it.

Thanks so much for any help!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

He has every right to have knowledge of the recordings. Have you read the local rules for the court that has jurisdiction? What motions have you filed?

 

[wolfcreekgal]

Thanks for responding, Isabella, but an attorney is out of the question. There are only three family law attorneys in the very small town I reside in and one of them was the mediator in our divorce. He won't represent me as it is a conflict of interest. The other two won't even take the case as they say I don't have enough proof for a modification. I think it's because they are too busy.

At any rate, I'm going to have to go this alone or not at all, and I couldn't live with myself if I chose the latter.

 

[wolfcreekgal]

OG, Thanks for replying. In answer to your questions**************..No, I don't know the rules for this particular court. Is there a way to find them? And I have yet to file any paperwork as I am still in the process of completing it.

You said he has to have "knowledge" of the recordings. I have no problem telling him I have them, but does he have to have copies of them?

He originally won his case by having a letter from a daycare provider which I had NO prior knowledge of. Yet, that letter was the only proof the judge had to base his decision on. The letter stated he appeared to be a better parent as he spent more time asking about our son's activities. At the time, ex had his own plumbing business and could take all the time he needed. I had been forced into the work force (because ex left me penniless) and, being a stay-at-home mom for years, didn't feel comfortable taking our son to a daycare setting anyway. Son was used to my being home with him and all the way to his daycare I would tell him I hated that he couldn't spend the day with me anymore. It was hard for me to leave him there and his crying and begging me not to leave made it even worse. Of course, the daycare provider failed to mention that.

 

[Ohiogal]

Look on the county website. If not there, call the court and ask them for their local rules. Also read the state's rules of civil procedure. That will answer many of your questions.

 

[wolfcreekgal]

Thanks OG, I appreciate your taking the time to inform me.

 

[wileybunch]

He originally won his case by having a letter from a daycare provider which I had NO prior knowledge of. Yet, that letter was the only proof the judge had to base his decision on. The letter stated he appeared to be a better parent as he spent more time asking about our son's activities. At the time, ex had his own plumbing business and could take all the time he needed. I had been forced into the work force (because ex left me penniless) and, being a stay-at-home mom for years, didn't feel comfortable taking our son to a daycare setting anyway. Son was used to my being home with him and all the way to his daycare I would tell him I hated that he couldn't spend the day with me anymore. It was hard for me to leave him there and his crying and begging me not to leave made it even worse. Of course, the daycare provider failed to mention that.

When speaking about matters as serious as when custody is overturned, it is really important not to have your "take" on why you lost custody, but actual verbatim what the judge said in the order where he made the decision. Because THAT is what you're up against, not your take on what happened and why.

 

[meanyjack]

but I need to know if CP has to have copies of all the recordings I have or can I present them in court without his knowledge.

Oh he certainly must have that and any other evidence you plan to present. Many court rules mandate it -- with the exception of extreme circumstances, which don't appear to be the case here.
But even with that, the opposing counsel can motion the court to have your evidence tossed.

That might sound like a crazy question, but I know the CP well and don't want the only evidence I have dismissed because he had no prior knowledge of it.

And any attorney worth their salt would ask the court to have any evidence you decide to 'surprise' the court with dismissed and you sanctioned.