Please help me

[DawnPlusTwo]

Oklahoma.

I believe most of you are familiar with my son's illness so I won't go back through it all.

Ok, I'm a bit frazzle minded right now, so please excuse me if this all comes out weird.

Dad had his visit yesterday, picked up Son at 10a. (I made sure he wasn't at the grocery store at 8a). Dad showed up. I left Son in my car (heater was warm n toasty) while I showed Dad how to use the nebulizer and the solution. I told Dad kiddo needed to wear the mask so that he didn't expose anyone else to H1N1. So was tolerable, I was nice. Got kiddo all settled in to Dads truck, kissed him, told Dad if he needed anything at all to let me know and I would try to get there ASAP. I gave Dad kiddos doctor instructions and the form I got from the nurse for Dad to fill in about administering the breathing treatments and meds.

At 2:09p I got a text from Dad that just had a period as the text. I panicked and called him. His wife answered his phone.

Her: WHAT?!

Me: hey I just got a text from Dad that didn't say anything. Just wanted to make sure Son is ok.

Her: he is FINE! We know how to handle him.

Me: ok thanks. Bye.

I know I shouldn't have even talked to her at all, but I was worried that something was wrong. Deer in the headlights is what I felt like.

So the rest of the day goes on. My daughter and I drove to Dad's town about a half hour early because we had to get a few things from Walmart (our meeting place). We did our shopping, talked to a few of my friends there (I worked there for 3 years so I know just about everyone) and we were waiting outside, warming up the car by 5:55p.

6 comes and goes, no Dad. At 6:25p, I sent him a text letting him know we were waiting for him at our meeting place. Nothing back from him. At 6:50p, he shows up. I didn't say anything to him about being late. I stood at the rear of my car. Dad just stands there. Makes no effort to get kiddo out of his truck. So I asked if he wanted me to get him, he said NO.

I was totally puzzled. Why in the crap are we standing there in the cold? I asked how the breathing treatments went. He said he missed 2 of em. I asked why he missed two treatments. Dad said "well its kinda hard to plug that thing in at the middle of a football game.". I probably could have hurt him at that very moment. That was against the doctors orders alltogether. He wasn't supposed to be around anyone who could be the least bit sick, and he wasn't supposed to expose others to H1N1.

After about another minute, his wife and his father pull up in his wife's car. Grandpa jumps in my face and starts screaming at me. I said "J, I don't want any problems. I just want to take the baby home, so he can get his medicine and have dinner and go to bed." well that brings wife into the whole mix. She starts screaming all sorts of random crap in my face.

My daughter got scared at tried to get out of the back passenger seat, and I asked her to please stay put. Dad then leans up against the door so she can't open in. Grandpa used he forearm across my chest to push me up against Dads truck. Wife jumps back in my face, screaming and acting crazy. I told her to back off. I'm standing there this whole time with my hands in my pocket. I finally had more than enough and went to walk away. She pushed me back up against the truck and slapped me across the face.

I heard my daughter cry out. I yelled and told her to get my phone and call 911. Wife starting cussing me, kicked me in my leg and tried to punch me in the face, I moved to duck and her fist caught the back of my head. She swung again and caught my mouth. I moved away from her and grandpa pushed me against the back of my car. I told them to knock it off. I walked to Dads truck door and opened it to get Son out, wife came up and slammed to door, grabbed hold of my pony tail and yanked me back. Slamming my head into the truck.

Finally a cart pusher came out and told us to "break it up". I asked him to help me get the baby out of the truck and get him inside the store. The store manager came out. Wife and Grandpa hopped in her car and took off.

The manager got daughter out of my car, the cart pusher and I got kiddo out of dads truck. Dad was still standing there, leaned up against my car door, arms crossed over his chest, laughing. I got my keys and phone out of my car, and locked it up and went inside the store with the manager.
We called the police, and while we were waiting for them to get there, we found the security camera from the parking lot. And rewound the tape to see exactly how much could be seen on the tape. Luckily, EVERYthing could be seen.

My daughter was still scared and crying, so I did my best to comfort her while I gave Son his breathing treatment. Turns out Dad hadn't given him ANY treatments at all. The package I sent with him was still upopened. As was the Nystatin cream for his yeast rash.

The police finally showed up, took my statement, my daughters statement, the cart pushers statement. And they left to go talk to Dad, wife and grandpa. I told them where dad lived and where Grandpa lived. The police came back after 20 minutes saying they couldn't find any of them. The stood with us and watched the security tape confirming everything we all had said. They left with a copy of the tape and said they would be in touch with me. I filled out a Walmart incident report and also got a copy of the tape. By this time, its 9pm. One of my friends had gone to McDonalds next door and brought the kids some dinner.

I haven't heard yet from the police. I want to know what I can do in this situation. I believe I now definitely have enought to get a restraining order against wife and probably even Grandpa. Can I get my son covered in the restraining order also? These people are nuts.

Also, can ANYthing be done, about Dad blatantly ignoring the doctors orders? In my opinion, it seems neglectful to not give the medicine he needs. Please, what can I do?

I'm so sorry this turned out to be so long.

 

[xxnatalixx]

No legal advice, just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you and your children going through all this, and I'm praying for you all. It's so similar to the situation I was in. I'm glad you have it all on tape. I'm sure that will help.

 

[liandrajade]

take yourself down to court and file an immediate temporary restraining order against the wife and grandfather, bring EVERYTHING with you, the police reports, any and all documentation you have on them showing that they are a danger to you and your child. You MUST EMPHASIZE that there was a physical altercation and they attempted to keep you from your child and physically assaulted you.

Then get something IN WRITING from your pediatrician or the hospital staff clearly stating the reason for his continuing medical treatment and all the reasons he REQUIRES THIS TREATMENT.

Get copies of all the hospital records, bring that with you and file to change visitation to supervised...you NEED to make it clear to the judge that this is in the best interests of your childs health, the father is purposefully not giving the child the required medical treatment he NEEDS. you are not denying visitation or will be denying visitation but the father is not able to take care of his child alone properly with a KNOWN VERIFIABLE MEDICAL ISSUE RIGHT NOW AND HAS REFUSED TO GIVE HIM REQUIRED MEDICAL CARE.

the key to this is paper trail, get everything in writing and verifiable in court. stay calm, take a deep breath, you getting upset wont help your child, believe me i know, im in a similar problem with my childs stupid grandmother, take it one step at a time...feel free to send me a pm if you need to vent, the other more experienced members will chime in and make more or better recommendations than what i posted....

 

[my life is mine]

OMG Dawn, I am shaking for you. Sorry but I would be at police station first thing this morning asking for a restraing order on GF and his wife. Then I would be at court tomorrow asking for an emergency hearing.

God Bless you and your children, and I will say my prayers for you.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

At this point, I would be asking for supervised visits from dad with a place that could take care of kiddos needs.

This DOES qualify as an emergency visit in front of the judge.

Have you filed your police report yet? If not, see if you mom can watch the children and go down to the police station.

I'm still debating if this one qualifies for a CPS visit. With a confirmed diagnoses of H1N1 and the strict instructions from the hospital, it clearly falls under the auspices of child endangerment. How is the kiddo in light of his exposure to the elements yesterday?

 

[Just Blue]

At this point, I would be asking for supervised visits from dad with a place that could take care of kiddos needs.

This DOES qualify as an emergency visit in front of the judge.

Have you filed your police report yet? If not, see if you mom can watch the children and go down to the police station.

I'm still debating if this one qualifies for a CPS visit. With a confirmed diagnoses of H1N1 and the strict instructions from the hospital, it clearly falls under the auspices of child endangerment.

Medical neglect...for sure. What a dumba...person...

 

[CJane]

File immediately in the AM:

1) Restraining order against Grandpa
2) Restraining order against StepMom
3) Supervised visitation
4) Exchanges INSIDE police station
5) Suspension of visitation pending investigation by CPS

CALL CPS in the morning and report the fact that 1) Dad did not administer ANY medications and blatantly violated Dr's orders when he was FULLY aware child had JUST been discharged from hospital. Report domestic violence perpetrated against you in front of child w/dad's "blessing".

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Mind you, this domestic violence was in front of TWO children, not just the baby.

 

[Antigone*]

Dawn,

I'm so sorry. Tink and Cjane have said it best. I'd do exactly as they tell you and I'd even really consider calling CPS as Blue said.

If a football game is clearly too important to be missing for dad, then SM could have certainly seen that the child needed his medication and helped. In this case both of those morons neglected a child who spent over 2 weeks in ICU struggling to breathe.

In any case, remember Dawn, to be the better person. Take the high road when it comes to dealing with these morons. Your children are watching and learning from you (and unfortuntately from those monsters as well).

Continued prayers for your and your family.

 

[sometwo]

How horrible! Definately file all the reports and definately get to court and ask for supervised visitation. Emergency order immediatley before next visit.

Poor little guy. How is he doing?

ETA: I would also try to include baby in the restraining order against wife and grandpa. If dad's on supervised they wont be needing to be there anyway!

 

[troublesleeping]

Make a CPS report PLEASE!!!! Do all the other stuff other people said! Man I am just soooooo sorry!

 

[PQN]

(hugs)

Dawn,

That must have been terrifying for you and your children. I'm glad the Walmart employees helped you. Please keep us updated so we know you are all safe.

I agree with the others -- restraining orders on grandpa and wife to protect you and both children.

 

[gr8rn]

Dawn it is so sad you have had to deal with this bunch of idiots, but now you have enough evidence to BURY them. Besides all the hospital records (and I would make sure you have copies of all the hospital records including nurses notes which will have recorded all the drama going on with Mr. and Mrs Bonehead) You have a solid case of abuse and neglect and there is no doubt you will get protection from abuse and probably have a really good shot at supervised visitation. The fact that your son was so sick and ON A VENTILATOR just 2 weeks ago and they didn't bother to follow doctors orders for their little visit, well that is neglect plain and simple.

It sounds to me, like dad didn't like having to listen to instructions while you kept son in a warm car, so keeping son away from you during drop off was his way of getting back at you. With the added physical assault from Mrs Bonehead and grampa grinch.

I really hope the judge gives him supervised visits for a very long time and for sure, no third party interference will now be a must.

Dawn, the strongest piece of evidence you have is yourself. You are calm, you handled this horrible situation with dignity and grace. And thank GOD for walmart surveilling their parking lot 24/7.

 

[LdiJ]

Oklahoma.

I believe most of you are familiar with my son's illness so I won't go back through it all.

Ok, I'm a bit frazzle minded right now, so please excuse me if this all comes out weird.

Dad had his visit yesterday, picked up Son at 10a. (I made sure he wasn't at the grocery store at 8a). Dad showed up. I left Son in my car (heater was warm n toasty) while I showed Dad how to use the nebulizer and the solution. I told Dad kiddo needed to wear the mask so that he didn't expose anyone else to H1N1. So was tolerable, I was nice. Got kiddo all settled in to Dads truck, kissed him, told Dad if he needed anything at all to let me know and I would try to get there ASAP. I gave Dad kiddos doctor instructions and the form I got from the nurse for Dad to fill in about administering the breathing treatments and meds.

At 2:09p I got a text from Dad that just had a period as the text. I panicked and called him. His wife answered his phone.

Her: WHAT?!

Me: hey I just got a text from Dad that didn't say anything. Just wanted to make sure Son is ok.

Her: he is FINE! We know how to handle him.

Me: ok thanks. Bye.

I know I shouldn't have even talked to her at all, but I was worried that something was wrong. Deer in the headlights is what I felt like.

So the rest of the day goes on. My daughter and I drove to Dad's town about a half hour early because we had to get a few things from Walmart (our meeting place). We did our shopping, talked to a few of my friends there (I worked there for 3 years so I know just about everyone) and we were waiting outside, warming up the car by 5:55p.

6 comes and goes, no Dad. At 6:25p, I sent him a text letting him know we were waiting for him at our meeting place. Nothing back from him. At 6:50p, he shows up. I didn't say anything to him about being late. I stood at the rear of my car. Dad just stands there. Makes no effort to get kiddo out of his truck. So I asked if he wanted me to get him, he said NO.

I was totally puzzled. Why in the crap are we standing there in the cold? I asked how the breathing treatments went. He said he missed 2 of em. I asked why he missed two treatments. Dad said "well its kinda hard to plug that thing in at the middle of a football game.". I probably could have hurt him at that very moment. That was against the doctors orders alltogether. He wasn't supposed to be around anyone who could be the least bit sick, and he wasn't supposed to expose others to H1N1.

After about another minute, his wife and his father pull up in his wife's car. Grandpa jumps in my face and starts screaming at me. I said "J, I don't want any problems. I just want to take the baby home, so he can get his medicine and have dinner and go to bed." well that brings wife into the whole mix. She starts screaming all sorts of random crap in my face.

My daughter got scared at tried to get out of the back passenger seat, and I asked her to please stay put. Dad then leans up against the door so she can't open in. Grandpa used he forearm across my chest to push me up against Dads truck. Wife jumps back in my face, screaming and acting crazy. I told her to back off. I'm standing there this whole time with my hands in my pocket. I finally had more than enough and went to walk away. She pushed me back up against the truck and slapped me across the face.

I heard my daughter cry out. I yelled and told her to get my phone and call 911. Wife starting cussing me, kicked me in my leg and tried to punch me in the face, I moved to duck and her fist caught the back of my head. She swung again and caught my mouth. I moved away from her and grandpa pushed me against the back of my car. I told them to knock it off. I walked to Dads truck door and opened it to get Son out, wife came up and slammed to door, grabbed hold of my pony tail and yanked me back. Slamming my head into the truck.

Finally a cart pusher came out and told us to "break it up". I asked him to help me get the baby out of the truck and get him inside the store. The store manager came out. Wife and Grandpa hopped in her car and took off.

The manager got daughter out of my car, the cart pusher and I got kiddo out of dads truck. Dad was still standing there, leaned up against my car door, arms crossed over his chest, laughing. I got my keys and phone out of my car, and locked it up and went inside the store with the manager.
We called the police, and while we were waiting for them to get there, we found the security camera from the parking lot. And rewound the tape to see exactly how much could be seen on the tape. Luckily, EVERYthing could be seen.

My daughter was still scared and crying, so I did my best to comfort her while I gave Son his breathing treatment. Turns out Dad hadn't given him ANY treatments at all. The package I sent with him was still upopened. As was the Nystatin cream for his yeast rash.

The police finally showed up, took my statement, my daughters statement, the cart pushers statement. And they left to go talk to Dad, wife and grandpa. I told them where dad lived and where Grandpa lived. The police came back after 20 minutes saying they couldn't find any of them. The stood with us and watched the security tape confirming everything we all had said. They left with a copy of the tape and said they would be in touch with me. I filled out a Walmart incident report and also got a copy of the tape. By this time, its 9pm. One of my friends had gone to McDonalds next door and brought the kids some dinner.

I haven't heard yet from the police. I want to know what I can do in this situation. I believe I now definitely have enought to get a restraining order against wife and probably even Grandpa. Can I get my son covered in the restraining order also? These people are nuts.

Also, can ANYthing be done, about Dad blatantly ignoring the doctors orders? In my opinion, it seems neglectful to not give the medicine he needs. Please, what can I do?

I'm so sorry this turned out to be so long.

Go get a restraining order against ALL of them, including dad, get the child included on the order based on the fact that all of that took place with the child present. File for for an emergency suspension of visitation based on the child's illness and the fact that dad did not administer any of the child's medication.

Ask that when dad's visitation resumes it resumes as supervised visitation.

In other words, throw the whole book at him, in every way that you can. He sat there and laughed while his wife and her/his father beat you up.

See if you can get another copy of the tape to show the judge in the emergency hearing and the hearing for the restraining order. Do that quickly because Wal-Mart may not keep the tapes very long.

 

[Isis1]

oh god honey. i am soo soooo sorry.

aside from cosigning what EVERYONE else said....you and your children, are definitely in my prayers.

this IS an emergency.

go to court first thing monday morning. get an restraining order, suspension of visitation until further investigation. this will stall recovery time for the child.