Please Help!

[davisracing48]

What is the name of your state?I am in Illinois. I am recently divorce. The divorce was very quick. I didn't not
have a lawyer. My ex husband did. I didn't understand the divorce settlement
at all. I just agreed with things. As you can imagine the divorce was one sided. I was left with no money, he got the three kids, the 2 homes any money left. I got my car and my bills. I take home $1622.00 a month and pay him $1000.00 a month for daycare. I have lived in 3 different friends homes because I have no money, I have no health insurance, cause I can't afford it. I am barely above the water and slowly sinking. Worst of all, I don't have the kids. I was not in the right state of mind. At the time I was going through counseling (I was sexual abused as a child for many years, I found out my husband wasn't being faithfully, needless to say
my world crashed. My ex-husband tried to force himself on me and I wanted out.) As you can imagine the enviroment was really hostile. I even had my ex-husband go to my counseling to hear what was going on, cause I wanted to try and work things out. The divorce was not at all fair. We were married 11 years. Now that I can see things a little clearier, Can I get this divorce reopened? I know I must have caught the Judge on a "good" day. Because most people I have talked say that the judge should not have granted it. Especially since I wasn't represented. I didn't know that free legal help could be obtained. But there is so much in the divorce decree that is just not right.
I pay more than 60 percent of my pay to child care. He is also using the kids
as leverage even though we have joint custody. He has the residential custody. Is there a way to prove that he knew I wasn't in the right state of mind and he took advantage of this? Please, Please I need some advice!!! davis

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Contact legal aid possibly they can assist you with the motions to modify custody and visitation, but if you were not mentally competent at that time and that was a part of it, you wil have to prove you are now, also contact your local domestic violence group they may have suggestions for your situation.

 

[VeronicaGia]

People can represent themselves in court. It's called going Pro Se or Pro Per.

You would have to prove you were mentally incompetent at the time of the divorce. You would also have to prove he knew without a doubt that you were mentally incompetent. Then, you will have to prove you are now mentally competent.

You are an adult. If you didn't understand the paperwork you signed for the divorce you never should have signed it.

Also, how long have the kids now lived with dad? You say you are barely surviving and virtually have no place to live. Why would you want to put the kids in the position that they have no place to live with a parent who is barely surviving? Even if you got custody, you'd still have the daycare costs, plus you would have to have a stable home, food in the house, elec, gas, water, etc., etc. It sounds as though financially he is better prepared to take care of the kids in any event.

Are you done with counseling? Are you 100% sure you are better now, never to relapse? If not, why would you even consider trying to get custody of you could relapse, with no money, no place to live, etc?

Please believe me, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. But it seems to me you're being kind of selfish when it comes to the kids. If you cannot take care of yourself, how can you take care of kids?

 

[davisracing48]

Please help!

In response to your reply,

I will always be in counseling. I was sexually abused as a child and left home at 15 years old. I can honestly say I will not relapse. I am getting the help now that I should have gotten years before. Being selfish I am not, but in the divorce decree it is making it hard for me to even try and better myself. I am trying to figure out if it is possible to reopen the divorce and fairly get what is mine. He and I had 17 years invested together with a home bought by both of us even before we were married 11 years ago. I am trying to get on my feet. I cared for those kids up until I was kicked out of the house. Now looking in and getting all the help, I see my children being passed around and raised by others. Yet, I still sacrifice the money to make sure I do my duty. The kids have been living with him for about 6 months. Before the divorce was filed by him, he attended my counseling session to hear what
the counselor and I had to say. He ignored it.

If given what is fairly mine, I would have no problem taking care of my children and having a place to live. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me or
think they are making me feel bad. I am taking responsibility for my actions.
YOU ARE RIGHT, I should have NEVER signed or agreed to anything
I didn't understand. I was wrong and this may cost me what I have already
lost. I will never forgive me myself if I don't exhaust every effort to make sure I can't fine a loop hole in this and try to get it reopened.

davis

 

[Dandy Don]

Talk to friends to get recommendations on divorce attorneys they have been pleased with or who have a reputation for being excellent, and then interview with more than one divorce attorney until you find one who will look at your paperwork and can suggest some options for you to pursue. Your biggest mistake was in not having representation to fight back for you while you were in court, but maybe you wrongfully thought that you couldn't afford it.