Please Help!!

[Spice72013]

I am in ohio, lived with my boyfriend for 3 years, he has a good job, house, "stable" (No previous kids) I have 2 previous kids that live with us. It is an abusive physically and mentally relationship. I have been in counciling for my depression and anxiety all 3 of the years. Im scared because he tells me I am crazy and no one will believe me and that he is a pillar of the community! My income is child support for my children, foodstamps and medical card. Until I met him i have always been in mngt. positions.
Know for the big question...I just had a baby 5 days ago and he is theatening to take her and get full residential custody. His name is the fathers name on the birth certificate. I tried to leave tonight but he would not let me take my own child with me...he told me i would have to call the police before he would let me take her. Not to mention all the agony and crying my own children do because they hear us fighting.
I have no finicial means right know and no friends or family here where i live. I need a miracle and HELP. I'm stressed and terrified how can i prevent him from doing this? Can he take her from me since she was just born? Can I take My Daughter and run out of state? Can I move out locally and support his visitation so I am looking out for the best interests of my daughter? And lastly my daughter is bi-racial. Does that play any factor in custody??
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[matthews639]

You need to look in the phone book for a women's shelter. They will also help you get the contacts you need and well as the state info to help you. They can help you get a place to live for very little money.There are all kinds of programs to help you get a job, they will pay for your child care, you can go to school and if you do you don't have to work, whatever it takes to get you going, the government can and will help, just call around. This man is telling you things to keep you under his thumb. You don't have to deal with that. And they race of your child doesn't make a difference. Dont listen to his threats. Calling is the first step. I seriously doubt they will give this child to a man that abuses you. Besides you have it on record right? Do it not only for yourself but for your children as well.

 

[Alabama Stepmom]

I would recommend you keep a journal of all that is going on in your house. I would keep it where he can't find it. Keep track of what sets him off, what he says, does, the way he acts. Note what acts or words of violence your children see. It is not healthy for your children to see this. You need to get out before he does something to your or your children. Get the phone book and start searching for women's shelters. I wouldn't recommend using hte internet to search because he can find out what sites you have been to. Just watch you back and don't leave anything out where he could find it. The journal would definitely help you if you ever go to court, it will help show the judge what you have had to endure and why you children don't need to be around this man. Good Luck and God Bless!

 

[Spice72013]

RE:Help reply

I have a few people that have seen me when i was bruised and all. I have one instance from the Emergency room where they took 20 pictures of my body. He in return filed an report of the selfdefense marks i put on him. Two of which being bite marks so he would stop choking and beating me. I did call the police one time and because i fought back and tried to defend myself (Not even marking him) while I am bleeding from the arms and knees where he threw me across the alley(The old lady next door saw this) the police were gonna arrest both of us so of course i had no choice but not to press charges. The "assult" brought in child services for about 6 months but they dropped our case saying there was no threat. That is parially my fault because i was affraid of what would happen if i told the truth.

But the biggest thing stopping me is his large finicial means!! And he plays REAL dirty when it comes to him getting his own way I have seen him in action in legal preceedings with his work.

The womans shelter i contacted previously was full and i was told i could only stay 30 days. 30 days is not enough time to get my life straightened out or even remotley close.

I just can not believe i got myself in such a dependant situation...This is not who i was or who i am...I know it is the first step that s the hardest. I am making phone calls and covering my tracks well. I have a feeling he is also making the phone calls to his attorneys as well.

Thanks for listening and replying it makes me feel normal and not so alone.
Tammy
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[needoutNOW]

Tammy,

Do you have any friends or relatives that live close to you? Does your husband ever leave the house?

Here is what I would suggest for you to do...but keep in mind, it won't be easy.

1. Take your kids and go to the shelter.
2. File a restraining order on the SOB. When you do this make certain that you are temporarily moved out of the house BECAUSE the sheriff will have to serve him with the papers and he might get a little upset. Ask for 'custody' of the house and kids and vehicle that you drive.
3. Once you go to court to get the temporary order changed to a permanent one(this will take only about 7 to 10 days so you won't go over the 30 day limit at the shelter), move back into the house and file for divorce (or custody of the child).

I know it's not easy. I finally got the courage to get out of the abusive relationship I was in. You need to do this for yourself and your kids.

 

[Spice72013]

re:needoutknow

Thanks for the reply....just one problem...we are not married...just living together for 3 years. Any further suggestions since we are not married??
I have been making some phone calls today and gathering information on the local womans shelters and help lines because i have to be certain of what i am doing, i cant risk anything back firing on me and my kids.(Only the baby is with the boyfriend, i have full custoday of my other two children)

No i do not have family around here...I have one Girlfriend that I can 100% trust. Otherwise i trust no one else.



Tammy

 

[railroaded?]

What a horrible thing to have to go through with a brand new baby, my heart goes out to you, you must be totally exhausted, with caring for the new baby, the older children, and now this.

I hope one of the attorneys who sometimes post here will post to you and tell you what the laws in your state are regarding your situation.