POA for mother?

[rosier2000]

What is the name of your state?FL

I have recently taken my mother (age 77) into my home. I have two children and am a single parent, so this is a challenge.

She is quite hard of hearing and easily confused. Her regualr doctor upset her by telling her she have demetia. I belive her hearing is affecting her understanding of what is going on, as for the rest, it has an element of truth. (sigh)

Anyway, I'm trying to talk her into letting me have POA on her financial affairs AND medical. I want to make sure she gets the best treatment and some kind of hearing assistance. Now that she is here, I finally can, but I can't get any info out of her because she can't remember/hear what the doctors have told her.

How do I best go about this? I had her add me as a signer on her checking account, so it's a start.

Thanks in advance for any responses

 

[Some Random Guy]

Its not good that you are having to "talk her into it" when she is mentally deficient. Sounds like a good excuse for someone to challenge the POA(s).

If you expect other family members to contest your involvement, I would suggest a videotape of her explaining her medical care and funeral wishes at a point in the day when she is most lucid.

As for the financial side, you may have to wait till she slips a bit further and have her declared incompetent and have a guardian appointed for her.

In the meantime, suggest to her that she get all instructions from her doctor in writing so that no lapses in care occur.

 

[BlondiePB]

What is the name of your state?FL

I have recently taken my mother (age 77) into my home. I have two children and am a single parent, so this is a challenge.

She is quite hard of hearing and easily confused. Her regualr doctor upset her by telling her she have demetia. I belive her hearing is affecting her understanding of what is going on, as for the rest, it has an element of truth. (sigh)

Anyway, I'm trying to talk her into letting me have POA on her financial affairs AND medical. I want to make sure she gets the best treatment and some kind of hearing assistance. Now that she is here, I finally can, but I can't get any info out of her because she can't remember/hear what the doctors have told her.

How do I best go about this? I had her add me as a signer on her checking account, so it's a start.

Thanks in advance for any responses

Hire an attorney that specializes in guardianships and petition to be your mother's plenary guardian and health care surrogate now. Get her hearing tested and get her a hearing aid.

 

[rosier2000]

thanks

I have noticed that she keeps changing her mind about everything, so I have not tried to get her to sign anything yet. One step at a time.
I am taking her to the doctor today to get a regular checkup and will set up appoints for eyes, ears and memory stuff.

She is understandably upset about her forgeting things. Problem is, she will accuse everyone of stealing her stuff.

I'm trying to make her as relaxed as possible and will get her evaluated and then seek more control over her finances. She currently has no money and gets only a small amount of SSI, but when she sells her home she will have enough to live on. I don't want any of it I just want to help her pay her bills because she forgets a lot. I'm also going to see if some sort of anti-depressants will help hopefull doctor will agree.

This is very draining, but there is nothing I would not do for her.
I have to work full time and I have two teenaged children so, I may have to pay someone to look after her during the day so she is not so lost. Or find suitable housing once she gets her money. She can't even cook, she expects to be waited on.

Thanks for all your helpful responses.

 

[candg918]

Practical consideration

If you are concerned about leaving your mother alone all day, look into an adult day care center. They provide a safe environment, meals, and companionship. Some even provide transportation between home and center.

In the event you try to get hearing aids to assist her in her hearing loss, be sure the audiologist is willing to work with you on the type. She probably will be unable to manage the adjustment of volume. Your mother will do better with the type that has the volume preset that someone else can just turn on and put into her ears. These are much less expensive that the other types. (how do I know, my mother was taken advantage of by one audiologist and never wore the first pair because the aids were too hard to use; the "dumb" pair worked fine and cost less than 1/2 - closer to 1/3 - of the first pair.)

These tips won't solve the legal problems you have but may help make your life a little easier. Good luck!

 

[rosier2000]

Thanks. I will take your advise. She is not one to tinker with gagets.
I went to the doctor with her yesterday and felt like a major role reversal has happened and she was the child. But....I could explain and hear everything so she is getting help and we both couldn't be happier.

Now to add to all of this, a tree fell on her house yesterday destroying half of it. Thankfully, no one was there. But we had some interested in purchasing it. Now, we will see.

Thanks to all who posted. We will get through this too!