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POD account distribution

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New member
What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

I have a question about a POD distribution.

My ex father in law lived with me off and on for the last 10 years of his life. He was moved to his daughter's and then my ex husband's home while we were going through a nasty divorce for about 4 years. He came back to live with me in the fall of 2017. In January of 2018 he had my husband take him to the bank to close his existing checking account and open a new one. His youngest daughter was on the checking account and she had thrown him out of her home. He was afraid she would take all of his money. The bank told him that in order to close the account she would have to sign a paper as well as him. He did not want to do that, He explained to the bank he wanted to move all but enough to live for a month out of the account. The bank officer told him he could open a money market account and name a POD that his daughter would not be able to get to. He did and they called me because he decided to name me as the POD on the account,. I encouraged him repeatedly to change it to go equally to his 3 surviving children but he said that he was not giving them a dime, he said he had already given them over 100,000 in the past 10 years and was not giving them any more. He wanted to go to a lawyer in March of 2018 to set up power of attorney over his medical to me and his finances to my husband. We did that and he told the attorney that he did not want anything to go to his kids period,. He did not even want them notified that he had passed when he did. The attorney asked him if he had a will and he said he did not. When the attorney talked to him about getting one he kept putting it off.

Fast forward to April 2019. He started failing in health, we kept his kids up to date on his health all of the time. Occasionally one (mostly my ex) would come by to check on him. Dad passed away May 4,2019. We contacted the family on Wednesday May 1st that Hospice had advised us that it would be a matter of a couple of days and let them know what was going on. The next day we asked them if they wanted to make his arrangements or did they want us to make them? The answer was that they were not spending one penny on his funeral, if there was not enough money in his account to bury him we could either pay it or the state could. We transferred enough money out of the POD account to his checking account to pay for his final wishes. We even showed them everything we had done so that they could make any changes if they wanted to.

Well as soon as he passed away a will miraculously appeared dated 1993. As soon as the bank opened on Monday morning his daughters were there telling the bank he had passed and we had abused him and coerced him into moving his money.

Now the bank will not release the funds so that we can pay some medical bills he had to us until we get a court order signed by a judge ordering them to do so. They do not have a court order ordering them to hold the funds, they are just wanting to protect themselves. I told them that it has now been 9 months if there was any shred of evidence his family would have already filed a lawsuit against us. The bank is not in the family law business they need to release the funds and let them come against us in court. They refuse to release the funds. What do I do short of retaining an attorney and paying them a substantial sum of money for nothing?


Confirm that the change to POD account occurred before he spoke with the attorney and that he spoke with the attorney before his health began to fail. An attorney should not have done POAs if ex father-in-law could not properly sign the documents.

In my experience a change in a bank account POD or ownership after the date of a will controls. Our attorney advised that even if the person is obviously incapable of understanding the consequences of their actions, it is extremely difficult to prove it and challenge the changes on the account. The state elder abuse agency can investigate before a person's death.

Remember a POD account is outside the probate estate.

Look at OK's "financial exploitation of the elderly". It is in your best interest and your peace of mind to consult an attorney. You might start with the one he had do his paperwork.

Dandy Don

Senior Member
Is the checking account in the ex-father-in-law's name only?

Was the checking account set up by him or by you?

Has anyone asked the bank if the checking account had a designated beneficiary/or beneficiaries?

If there is money still in the POD, you can ask to get that now.

Has anyone submitted the will to the county probate court yet?

Your attorney may be able to expedite matters with the bank to get them to do what they are supposed to be doing.

Getting the medical bills paid should not be a priority for you now since it will be the responsibility of the executor of the estate to pay these bills, if an estate is ever opened up with the probate court.

You will not necessarily be "paying a substantial sum of money for nothing"! An attorney is precisely what you need to help you navigate through this awkward situation and will have precisely the right advice to have things work out in your favor with the least legal complication. You can hire him/her on a per hour basis since you are so concerned about costs.

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