Pointers for court next week

[father22]

What is the name of your state? PA

I go to court on Tuesday for the custody hearing for both my kids. Just an update my son lives with me my daughter lives with her mom. Im starting to get really worried. I want my baby girl so bad, and I cant imagine how devastating it will be if i lost custody of my son (for him and for my family). But i have a mountain of evidence and i hope that everything works out.

And i know for a fact that shes got nothing on me. Also she voluntarily gave my son to me 6 months ago, and wasnt interested in getting him back until her CS order was closed. but i know that they dont like to seperate siblings and i worry bc my daughter is only 3. i think that they might be more likely to side with the mother bc of y daughters young age. no matter the terrible things that their mother has said/done in the past 3 years.

I like my attorney I think hes going to do a good job. The only thing that worries me is that at this point hes not asked or seen any of the evidence that I have. He wants to make an appt with me on mon to go over everything for tues. Is that typical?

i know that its up to me to filter through everything and lay out what i feel are the keypoints in my arguemtn to give to my lawyer. i've taken 35 pages of my exgf's crap and got it down to 5. I have some really terrible answering machine messages that my ex has left over the years. will i be able to play that in court? Many say things like..'these are my f'ing kids and you will never f'ing see them again.' i think that theyre critical to my case.


I was also wondering if you guys could possibly give me some small pointers about how i should dress for court. I know that might sound stupid. but do most people wear a suit? or would khakis and a sweater be the norm? Ive never been in a court room before or talked to a judge. Any other advice would also be really appreciated.

 

[stealth2]

I don't think you can necessarily be OVERdressed for court (well, you wouldn't want to be in a tux ). My advice is generally to dress how you would for a job interview or for Church. Keep it low key. Neat and clean. If you need one, get a haircut. Make sure you shave that morning unless you have a beard/stache. Most of all, be polite, don't make faces, don't lose your temper.

One of the things that I found made a HUGE difference in how our custody situation played out was that I could tell you any damned thing you asked about our kids. Favorite foods, games, books, what activities they enjoyed, what size clothes/shoes they wore, what they absolutely hated, what they were afraid of, and so on. Being able to describe - in detail - what our normal routine was. And if we didn't have a particular routine for some portion of the day/weekend - not being afraid to say that sometimes we just wing it! Try not to badmouth Mom - especially if you think she's going to do it to you. Instead of harping on what she doesn't do, focus on what you can do and what you actually do. Focus on what YOU can offer the kids. How important it is to you that they have a healthy relationship with both of their parents. Instead of "she sits them in front of the tube" say "when the children are with me, I try to have some type of activity such as (zoo, museum, park, etc). Son really likes the (xyz) at the Natural History Museum and Daughter loves to see the (abc) at the zoo." Instead of saying "Mom leaves them with parents/aunt/friends while she goes to party for the weekend," say "The kids and I really enjoy taking a weekend and going camping together. They help me set up the tent (laugh) as much as little ones can, we go on a hike, play some games, watch the stars."

See what I'm getting at?

 

[poiduke]

Court Appearence

I agree with Stealth.Know their teachers @school,friends names,routine is key especially with very young children.Regarding your att. I met with mine at various times depending on what the purpose was.For example recently it was for modification of support.I met with him 2 months before with paperwork and documents he requested and discussed what my expectations were.We then met 1 month prior to the court date to confirm our plan and so he could confirm I understood the possible actions that may or may not take place,and then the day of the hearing we met about 2 hours before.I guess each att. has their own style and manner so it's up to you that you feel he/she is fulfilling your expectations and needs.
Get a good nights sleep,eat a little something,shower,and pack a bit of confidence and a prayer!!!!!! It never hurts.
Best of luck,
Poiduke

 

[Zephyr]

you are lucky to have that lawyer, the only time at all that i have heard from my lawyer is when he accidentally answers the phone during one of my many attempts to contact him, we have court tomorrow and i haven't heard from him in over a month, I actually had to call the judge's clerk just to find out what issues were going to be addressed by the court. good luck.

 

[father22]

Thank you very much for your suggestions. I am so nervous about this that i can barely eat or sleep. i just wanto to know whats going to happen. Ive documented and done what i can for now i guess. Anything else anyone can think of or anything that worked well for you, dont hesistate to pass on to me. Thanks again.

 

[seniorjudge]

Thank you very much for your suggestions. I am so nervous about this that i can barely eat or sleep. i just wanto to know whats going to happen. Ive documented and done what i can for now i guess. Anything else anyone can think of or anything that worked well for you, dont hesistate to pass on to me. Thanks again.

From the other side of the bench, here's something that always impressed me in child custody cases: The person wanting to get custody should be the most reasonable, sane, calm, and collected person in the courtroom.

Except for the judge, of course!

 

[snostar]

From the other side of the bench, here's something that always impressed me in child custody cases: The person wanting to get custody should be the most reasonable, sane, calm, and collected person in the courtroom.

Except for the judge, of course!

You may get a kick out of this then! I was so sane, reasonable and calm that the judge in my case got up in the middle of my testimony picked up a newspaper, sat back down at the bench and read to his hearts delight for about 15 minutes of my testimony! I was being questioned by the Law Guardian. Everyone got a laugh out of it except me!

OP, www.deltabravo.net is an excellent source for information regarding how to perpare, testify and present yourself. You have definitely been given keys pointers here on this thread, keep researching!

 

[seniorjudge]

I was so sane, reasonable and calm that the judge in my case got up in the middle of my testimony picked up a newspaper, sat back down at the bench and read to his hearts delight for about 15 minutes of my testimony!

Must've been a new judge.

You learn how to do this stuff on the sly at judges' college.

 

[ENASNI]

Hey

Father22...Bring the Judge roses...

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Must've been a new judge.

You learn how to do this stuff on the sly at judges' college.

Aren't they supposed to use the computer at the bench to read newspapers? I know playing games is too noisy

 

[seniorjudge]

Aren't they supposed to use the computer at the bench to read newspapers? I know playing games is too noisy

See...that just shows you how much you do NOT know!!!

The FIRST thing they teach you is how to cut off the speakers!

Duh!

 

[VeronicaGia]

A few words...

OUR kids, OUR son, OUR daughter. Not MINE! Not HERS! OURS!!!!

 

[snostar]

Must've been a new judge.

You learn how to do this stuff on the sly at judges' college.

Actually he was 81 and had been on the bench for 28 years. I think he just didn't give a crap about the line of questioning or maybe it was because my testimony was flawless.