Possible Defamation

[Roberts2339]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I live in Missouri. The other party lives in Florida.

This evening I got a call from my step-cousin accusing me of asking my great aunt for 10 grand and harassing her. Which I did not do.

He said he has a recording of it, which is impossible since I didn't ask for it.

He's also said that he would send me to jail if I talked to her.

He has also called relatives informing them that this supposedly transpired.

Some facts:

He is her guardian.

In the past she has given me money.

My great aunt is 105 years old and gets confused easily.

I asked to hear the tape and he said it is in the possession of a lawyer.

When he talked to other relatives he did not mention the tape.

We don't like each other.

I love my great aunt and don't want to bring her into this conflict.

He also informed that from this point on every call is going to be recorded and I can only ask her how she's doing and nothing beyond that.

Any thoughts?

 

[FlyingRon]

The guy sounds unstable. There's no point in arguing with him if he's lying. Tell him if he thinks he has a case for something to take you to court. Most of these threats fizzle pretty quickly when they have to stand up to legal rigor.

Whether you like each other is neither hear nor there. Anything he says to you isn't defamation. His statements to relatives might be, but frankly, there's also no likely gain to try to sue him over it. Famous attorney Louis Nizer describes many defamation actions as being akin to having mud splashed on your coat. You can aggressive attack it trying to remove it smearing it all over and making a bigger mess, or you can just wait and let it dry up and flake off on its own.

 

[Roberts2339]

The guy sounds unstable. There's no point in arguing with him if he's lying. Tell him if he thinks he has a case for something to take you to court. Most of these threats fizzle pretty quickly when they have to stand up to legal rigor.

Whether you like each other is neither hear nor there. Anything he says to you isn't defamation. His statements to relatives might be, but frankly, there's also no likely gain to try to sue him over it. Famous attorney Louis Nizer describes many defamation actions as being akin to having mud splashed on your coat. You can aggressive attack it trying to remove it smearing it all over and making a bigger mess, or you can just wait and let it dry up and flake off on its own.

Thank you for responding.

I'm more concerned that he's trying to build a case to keep me from talking to my Aunt. During the call last night he kept on reminding me that he's her guardian. I don't want to sue, because doing that would tear my aunt apart. I honestly don't like being accused about something I didn't do, and him spreading it to the family, especially my brother. I'm also a little concerned that he's supposedly recording my phone calls to her without my permission. I don't know if that's true or not true. I just find it bothersome. It also concerns me that is he threatened to have me arrested and jailed for supposedly harassing her two days ago during two separate phone calls which were about the decline health of my cat and possible legal action against my chiropractor.

The sad thing is he's not unstable, at least from POV. He's a respected real estate investor in Florida, and supposedly very successful.

 

[quincy]

Thank you for responding.

I'm more concerned that he's trying to build a case to keep me from talking to my Aunt. During the call last night he kept on reminding me that he's her guardian. I don't want to sue, because doing that would tear my aunt apart. I honestly don't like being accused about something I didn't do, and him spreading it to the family, especially my brother. I'm also a little concerned that he's supposedly recording my phone calls to her without my permission. I don't know if that's true or not true. I just find it bothersome. It also concerns me that is he threatened to have me arrested and jailed for supposedly harassing her two days ago during two separate phone calls which were about the decline health of my cat and possible legal action against my chiropractor.

The sad thing is he's not unstable, at least from POV. He's a respected real estate investor in Florida, and supposedly very successful.

I agree with FlyingRon that anything said by your step-cousin to you directly is not defamation. Defamation requires communication to a third party. Without this third-party communication, a reputation cannot be injured.

If there is no restraining order against you, restricting you from calling your aunt, there is nothing that prevents you from calling her. If your aunt objects, she can block your calls. I doubt that the cousin is recording your calls but, if he is and you are not demanding money of your aunt or doing anything else that might seem to others as harassing, then you shouldn't worry.

 

[Roberts2339]

I agree with FlyingRon that anything said by your step-cousin to you directly is not defamation. Defamation requires communication to a third party. Without this third-party communication, a reputation cannot be injured.

If there is no restraining order against you, restricting you from calling your aunt, there is nothing that prevents you from calling her. If your aunt objects, she can block your calls. I doubt that the cousin is recording your calls but, if he is and you are not demanding money of your aunt or doing anything else that might seem to others as harassing, then you shouldn't worry.

Thank you for responding.

He did call other members of the family about his claim. So there was communication with a third party (parties).

As her guardian can he get a restraining order? Can he change her phone number and not tell me?

And is recording calls without someone's consent illegal or having her nurse eavesdrop on the calls to report back to him illegal?

 

[quincy]

Thank you for responding.

He did call other members of the family about his claim. So there was communication with a third party (parties).

As her guardian can he get a restraining order? Can he change her phone number and not tell me?

And is recording calls without someone's consent illegal or having her nurse eavesdrop on the calls to report back to him illegal?

As her guardian, he can potentially get a restraining order. He can also have her phone number changed and not tell you.

As to recording phone calls, here is a link to state laws on recording conversations, from the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press: https://www.rcfp.org/reporters-recording-guide/state-state-guide

Although recording calls can be illegal depending on the state and the facts, it is what is done with the calls once recorded that will generally cause trouble. In Missouri, the consent of only one party to the conversation is needed for a recording to be legal. For calls in and from Florida, the consent of all parties is needed for the recording to be legal.

If your cousin told lies about you to other family members, and the family members believe the lies to the point where you suffer severe reputational injury, a defamation claim could be possible - but is probably not something you will want to consider unless you have a lot of money to throw at a lawsuit. Defamation lawsuits may result in a monetary award of damages if the plaintiff is successful with a suit (and there is never a guarantee a suit will be successful), but a defamation lawsuit rarely repairs a reputation. Your family members, in other words, can still believe whatever they want to believe about you.