Possible elder abuse, How to proceed?

[MostlySerious]

What is the name of your state? California
Adult daughter has told her 89 year old mother a series of lies to convince her to hire an attorney and file a restraining order (RO) against her other children preventing them from seeing their 89 year old mother who is a little senile, but does not have dementia. Statements from 3rd parties and bank records prove RO based on deceit.

RO has been lifted temporary, but daughter and her attorney are not returning calls from grandchildren or great grand children wanting to visit or talk with their grandma even if supervised.

Daughter has moved mother out of her home after the RO was lifted and is keeping her in various unnamed hotels so family cannot do a wellness check or visit because hotel and room number is unknown.

Current lawyer suggest to other children to be patient and wait for the RO trial. It has been 60 days since mother has been seen by other children. After RO is permanently removed in another 30 days, daughter will probably continue to hide mother.

What can be done now so mother can be reunited with her family ?

Thanks

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state? California
Adult daughter has told her 89 year old mother a series of lies to convince her to hire an attorney and file a restraining order (RO) against her other children preventing them from seeing their 89 year old mother who is a little senile, but does not have dementia. Statements from 3rd parties and bank records prove RO based on deceit.

RO has been lifted temporary, but daughter and her attorney are not returning calls from grandchildren or great grand children wanting to visit or talk with their grandma even if supervised.

Daughter has moved mother out of her home after the RO was lifted and is keeping her in various unnamed hotels so family cannot do a wellness check or visit because hotel and room number is unknown.

Current lawyer suggest to other children to be patient and wait for the RO trial. It has been 60 days since mother has been seen by other children. After RO is permanently removed in another 30 days, daughter will probably continue to hide mother.

What can be done now so mother can be reunited with her family ?

Thanks

Who are you in this situation?

If the restraining order was lifted, why is there a trial?

Why is the adult daughter doing this?

 

[MostlySerious]

Thanks for the reply. I'm a cousin, the RO was only temporarily lifted (other counsel pissed off the judge is my understanding), I believe daughter doing this because jealous of her siblings, who have more than she does and mother has some sizable assets.

 

[quincy]

The family can contact the Adult Protective Services agency in the grandmother's county to report suspected abuse, neglect or exploitation. The agency will investigate.

http://www.cdss.ca.gov/inforesources/Adult-Protective-Services

Good luck.

 

[MostlySerious]

The family can contact the Adult Protective Services agency in the grandmother's county to report suspected abuse, neglect or exploitation. The agency will investigate.

http://www.cdss.ca.gov

Good luck.

Thanks.

 

[quincy]

Thanks.

You're welcome, MostlySerious. Thanks for the thanks.

Good luck.

 

[CdwJava]

If there is potential criminal abuse or exploitation, the matter is best reported to local law enforcement. APS will cross-report it to local law enforcement as a matter of law and policy as they are not an investigative agency as it pertains to criminal activity. If there is some belief that criminal activity is involved, a report to law enforcement would avoid the bureaucratic delays that might come about with a report to APS (which is an agency that tends to be woefully understaffed).

At this point, it seems as if the issue is more of a civil matter and there appears to be no evidence of any criminal abuse or exploitation. Still, you can report your observations and beliefs to the police and APS, but you and concerned family members would also be served by engaging an attorney experienced in such matters. These can be tricky, and so long as the family member retains their faculties, it can be a long and difficult road to try and compel a change in circumstances against their will.

 

[quincy]

There was a restraining order issued (and a trial on the restraining order in the future), so the police are probably already aware of problems in the family.

There are also attorneys involved on both sides, with the family's attorney advising patience.

Before doing anything, therefore, it would be smart for the family to discuss contacting APS or the police with their attorney before doing either.

 

[CdwJava]

A restraining order is a matter for the civil or family court and no police involvement is required. Given that no mention of law enforcement was made, it seems prudent to bring that up.

Given that the title of the thread concerned "possible elder abuse," if this is the case and suspected, then law enforcement is the venue to contact if the current civil process seems inadequate. APS as well. Though APS most often punts back to law enforcement if there is a hint of criminal neglect or abuse, and they are required to cross-report to the law enforcement agency anyway.

Though, they are certainly free to continue on as they have been. These matters are not easily resolved, and in my experience, rarely result in a positive outcome for all involved.

 

[quincy]

The situation does not sound all that positive as it is.

 

[CdwJava]

The situation does not sound all that positive as it is.

They never are.

 

[quincy]

I feel sorry for the grandchildren.

I wish adults would behave better.

 

[commentator]

I am sorry, but if this lady is only 89 and "a little" confused or senile, it is entirely possible she is not being unduly influenced and is not being "elder abused" by a caregiving daughter who is "jealous" of her relatives. Maybe she just wants them to leave her alone. I've been on the other end of this one, as in the cousins and siblings who want supervision and freedom to control.....well really, no they just wanted to meddle and go on about stuff, to make much of very little, when the caregiver is doing the best she can. It could very well be that the police are not finding any evidence that this person is being abused or held away from her relatives against her will. And they don't want to wait for the order to expire, they want to see her right now. Their attorney is advising them to wait the 60 days. Why not do that?
"Statements from third parties and bank records prove restraining order is based on deceit....." So, what? So they're NOT stealing money from her bank? That's good, but that still doesn't mean she has to see them and let them see her.

 

[MostlySerious]

Thanks everyone so much for your thoughts. In regards to possible criminal activity there is 1) Suspicion that multiple bank accounts are now under control of the daughter as evidenced by conversations of daughter with another cousin that the money was needed for "insurance in case court stuff does not work out". 2) Daughter continuing to use mother's money for lawyers even after mother told lawyer privately she wanted to be left alone and mediation set up ( her lawyer contacted my cousin's lawyer with the news of mediation). Lawyer fired 3 days later after daughter refused to return calls. 3) Daughter is purposely hiding mother from rest of family using deceit which may violate CA PC 236/237. 4) When a wellness check was made weeks ago when mother was found at home, officer had to separate daughter from mother because daughter was not letting mother talk. Thanks again for your thoughts.

 

[quincy]

The family can contact APS and the police, both of which will investigate any report of elder abuse. The family should do so only after consultation with their current attorney or an attorney they hire who is well-versed in elder law.

Good luck.