Possible for ex to get JC?

[PickleZ]

What is the name of your state? MD

I have sole custody of my kids (13 & 14). My ex has filed for a custody (asking for joint custody)/vistiation modification. The court sent this to a family court services evaluator ( has not started, yet). My ex got out of jail less than three months ago, has no job, does not live in the area, been in jail twice for felony convictions, been admitted two times to the psychiatric unit at a local hospital for treatment. In my opinion, she's interested in the child support joint custody would give her.

I assumed she'll get some visitation arrangement. Do you think it's probable for her to get joint custody at this time? Are the evaluators looking solely at what is in the best interest of the children involved?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You have asked this same question how many times already?
Your ex is entitled to file for custody modification and for visitation.
We cannot say how it will all turn out, please consult your attorney with your specific quesitons.

 

[msfurman]

Joint custody and physical custody are two seperate things. Joint custody has to do with legal decision making. Like decideing what school, doctor to go to, family decisions as they pertain to the child. Phsyical custody is who the child lives with more than 6 months out of the year. You stated that you think she wants JC for child support reasons. If the child is living with you, she cannot. The parent who has physical custody of the child would be the one to recieve child support. If I were you, and you dont already have a court order stating it, I would motion the court to give you Sole Custody or sometimes called Full Cusotdy. Gives you solely all desicion making rights. She could get visitation but with her criminal past I would request the courts that if they are going to give her visitation for it to be supervised visitation due to her phychological problems and criminal behavior. For her to prove a change in custody arrangments, she must first prove a change in circumstance. Meaning a change in YOUR circumstance that is not in the best interest of the child. And from what it sounds like, with her history, you may be the better choice when it comes to decision making for your child. You do need to speak with an attorney. I am not one. Just a person that is going through and has gone through the court system with my kids time and time again. But if I were you, I'd Motion for Sole Custody and Supervised visitation. She will not get child support from you as long as the child is living with you. You can have Joint Custody and Physical Custody. Thats what I used to have with my child. So the child alwasys lived with me and I got the support. I just had to consult with them on decision making factors. I now have SOle custody which automatically gives me physical custody becasue legally I have to make all decisions pertainaing to the child and do not have to consult him. Discuss thsi with an attorney to see if you qualify.

 

[PickleZ]

THANK YOU! That's an excellent explanation.

I obtained sole custody while she was in prison. That is what she is trying to have changed. I didn't know the change in circumstance referred to me. She assumes that since she got out of jail, everything should return to the way it was before she went to jail - which is joint custody.

 

[msfurman]

Yes. Sole custody implies the physical custody. So even IF she was able to get Joint custody, the courts would keep the children living with you. Its not in there best interest to have been moving back and forth. Especially with someone with her past. She may have a change in circumstance but i were you, I wouldnt listen to her too much. For her to have custody arrangments changed, she would not only have to prove her change but YOUR change. Your not a pimp or a prostitute, not on the street corner selling drugs, mainaitning proper medical attention for your children, they are going to school like they should....your situation when awarded it is basically the same if not better I am assuming. She has proven that she is not a great decision maker or a geat influence. So even though she can probably visitation, I dont think the courts would have the kids live with her after just awarding you sole. I mean, you have to do something pretty bad or have a change of circumstance on you and your child's end that would detriment your child. I have sole custody of my daughter. Her dad took me through almost 3 years trying to get her spouting things from medical to educational neglect. She has a chronic illness that would keep her out of school alot. But in the end, he could not prove that her situation or illness would have been any better if she was with him. So in your case I would say, your ex-wife cant prove that the kids would be better off living with her than you. Dont let her get you off track from the facts. You know her and you know why and how you got that sole custody. Dont let the things she does and says throw you off track. Just know that she has to prove a change in circumstance and that the change is deterimental to the child, in which a change in custody is warranted. I blab on and on....sorry! *smile*

 

[PickleZ]

Thanks again. This is some of the best info I've received. Even though I have sole custody, I always feel on the defensive with her. The kids don't really want to spend a lot of time with her or at her place. She doesn't realize how her behavior has affected her kids. Thank you!

 

[msfurman]

Your welcome. I know exactly what you mean. I always feel on the defensive too. And psychologically that can drive you insane. Because whether your right or wrong in your decisions to raise your family, you feel like there is always someone ready to take you to court and have your life and YOU analyzed and criticized & financially bankrupt you just when you have absolutely no money, time or patience. Then once your in court, it is out of your hands. I'm sorry you feel like that. I feel like that all the time, so I relate. No one ever actually put it like that before....." on the defensive". y friends never understand that I feel like that. But its so true. But you can tell her that if she wants to push the issue, fine. But that your prepared to subpoena her medical and criminal records for court and that your sure you'll have no problem with requesting supervised visits. If he visits are supervised, it's GREAT for your court file because if she takes you back in the future after re-gaining unsupervised visits, when she messes up in life again, its on record and it will be hard for her ever to get physical or sole custody of your child. but honestly, I dont think you have anything to worry about. You just stay on the right track. Thankgod your child has you in their life. Your there saving grace it sounds like.