Possible slander and defamation case?

[whimseys2000]

What is the name of your state? RI

As a result of me expressing concern over a child's home environment (she is in my daughter's 1st grade class) a third parent and I no longer speak. This parent has been defaming me for the last couple of weeks - around the school yard, to the teachers, on the playground, etc. I have tolerated it only because I did not wish to cause a scene and I believe since it is not true there is no reason to defend myself. However...it has come to my attention that she has now begun to tell people that she has a restraining order against me. Of course, if this was true, I am sure I would know about it. But just in case, I called to check and there has never been anything filed on me, ever. Since a restraining order implies violence, I am inclined to pursue a defamation case. People that have been privy to this gossip are numerous.

To make matters worse, this woman is the Girl Scout leader for my daughter's troop and she has kicked her out - I assume for purely retalitory reasons and that is also why I am livid. To bring a 6 year old into this is unacceptable. I have called Girl Scouts and am waiting for a resolution from them as well.

Obviously more than this has transpired but I was trying to keep it short. If more info is needed I'll be glad to post again. Thanks for any advice.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You may have a case, however you will have to attempt to mitigate your losses, calling Girl Scouts is a first step, also go to the school and explain the problem to the administration and see if they mediate your differences. Consult an attorney.

The problem with the restraining order issue is proof that she is spreading this rumor, do you have witnesses? I have seen similar campaigns where people will believe the person even though there is proof to the contrary and they will not check it out even if you provide them with the evidence. Even if you prove the truth, some people will always question you, but such things are difficult to litigate.

If there is no other reason for her actions against your daughter GSA should resolve the issue and the fact that it is summer may diffuse the issue somewhat.

 

[whimseys2000]

I was told that she has gone to my daughter's teacher as well as the principal and informed them that I am trying to have the authorities take this other person's child away. (Which is untrue, I have not consulted anyone official about that. I simply expressed concern (to the leader) about drug items that were (supposedly) in the child's home. And, I was informed by the GS leader herself - which now she vehemently denies.) There are other players - albeit small ones - that are her stooges and stir the pot whenever possible. Two of the three have called my home and grilled me and one sent her husband after mine.

After two weeks of avoiding them, I confronted the co-leader and said this needed to stop because it has made its way out of the school yard and down to the local park where my daughter plays softball and I want to coach next year. I also live three streets away from the school and work from home, mostly on a referral-basis. You have no idea who knows who. I could have already lost work because of this and don't know it yet! I was civil and never raised my voice. The next day her husband chases mine down and says that I was so out of control the day before the crossing guard was going to call 911 because I was going to punch her. (I told the crossing guard this and she couldn't stop laughing. I have never punched anyone in my life!)

The next day these 3 called the police to the school (before we arrived to pick up our daughter), I assume as a scare tactic. However, we knew the cop so it was a non-issue. My husband approached the principal and tried to explain the situation and was given the brush off, said he didn't want to be involved. So, the administration is of no help.

One thing that irks me is this woman is an avid volunteer - and the facade is so fake - but people believe her over me! When I have time to volunteer in the school, I do. But lately, and I am not imagining this, people that used to speak to me no longer do. Girl Scouts was supposed to get back to me with a resolution by last Wednesday and yet I have heard nothing.

I was informed of the so-called restraining order by a lady who was told by the leader herself. Her daughter is also being kicked out of Girl Scouts. (We assume this is because she complained about the lack of scheduled activities.) The leader has also told me details about the children's medical forms and breached the HIPPA laws so that child's mother is upset as well. Honestly, I am floored that Girl Scouts has not handled this quickly and there is no reason for our daughters to be treated this way. (BTW, I was actually informed that my daughter "was a pain in the ass all year and was not invited back," by the co-leader (a stooge). And, this was said right in front of her so she cried all the way home over it. Yet, when I asked the leader about it, she claimed GS was pulling her out and she was never a problem. They can't even keep their own lies straight!

The situation is not likely to be difussed any time soon. Simple things like my bumping into the leader's daughter's heel with my twins' stroller when she ran in front of me - and yes, I apologized - turned into, "she kicked my child." It's all BS and I'm tired of me and my daughter being the patsies.

Whoa...that was longer that I thought!

 

[whimseys2000]

Update - I have written two letters to GSRI, the first went unanswered so I cc'd the NY office on the second letter. This prompted a meeting of parents which took place last night. (And mind you, the RI office was none too thrilled I went above their heads). The three GSRI members that presided had already made up their minds so I think the meeting was for just show and/or to shut me up. They will not disband the group as everything I said was dismissed as "he said, she said." They claimed the entire issue was "a personality conflict," and glossed over every negative thing that happened. They also brought out a police report (from when they called last year for no reason) and used that as a "I fear for my life" tactic. I can't even express how upset I am that by expressing concern for a child I have been turned into a monster (because of a pack of liars). It's obvious though, like you said earlier, that even if I scream the truth at these people, especially the principal, it is not likely to be believed. After all, "it's hard to find volunteers and if the principal thought something was going on, he surely would have contacted them [GSRI]." Surely I must be making it all up then. Maybe the parents who don't voice their opinions have the right idea - all caring does is kick you in the ass.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

And all of this when the CORRECT answer should have been "Based on the exact facts of your original post, you have no defamation case of any kind".

 

[JETX]

I agree with BB.
Though you have gotten several 'warm fuzzy' Oprah-like answers, this is a LEGAL advice site. As such, you have NO legal basis for a defamation suit.
Making a claim such as "I have a restraining order" against you, even if false, is NOT defamation (or more accurately, slander).

slander
n. oral defamation, in which someone tells one or more persons an untruth about another, which untruth will harm the reputation of the person defamed. Slander is a civil wrong (tort) and can be the basis for a lawsuit. Damages (payoff for worth) for slander may be limited to actual (special) damages unless there is malicious intent, since such damages are usually difficult to specify and harder to prove. Some statements, such as an untrue accusation of having committed a crime, having a loathsome disease or being unable to perform one's occupation, are treated as slander per se since the harm and malice are obvious and therefore usually result in general and even punitive damage recovery by the person harmed.

And even if this were defamation... would you really be willing to spend the THOUSANDS of dollars trying to stop it?? Of course not.
People say mean or bad things about others all the time. Get over it.

 

[whimseys2000]

untruth will harm the reputation of the person defamed.

Didn't I say that DID occur? The school, the softball field, the GS?

Get over it.

Thanks so much for your contribution.

 

[JETX]

Didn't I say that DID occur? The school, the softball field, the GS?

Okay, lets look at your REAL complaint:
The school:
Your post said: "As a result of me expressing concern over a child's home environment (she is in my daughter's 1st grade class) a third parent and I no longer speak."
Translation: You butted into someone elses business and made (possibly defaming) comments about THEM.

Softball field:
Curious.... you make NO mention of anything about actions at a softball field....

GS:
Yep, I agree that this other parent is being unreasonable.... and you have taken what appears to be appropriate action to remedy THIS problem.

So, your ENTIRE issue boils down to.....
You opened your mouth and talked about someone else. The other parent got pissed at YOUR talk.... and is now talking about you!! Sounds to me like YOU are the one who started this entire 'issue'.... and simply can't take what YOU started.

Damn, the truth can be harsh, huh??

Other than a few hurt feelings to the overly sensitive, what REAL harm did you incur by this other persons conduct??
Didn't your parents teach you to IGNORE other peoples 'name-calling'?

There is NOTHING in your post that gives AND indication of REAL harm.

Again, do you really want to invest $5000 or so of YOUR money in a lawsuit over such petty crap?? If you do, let me know.... I can refer you to a local attorney who will be very pleased to take your money.

Thanks so much for your contribution.

Of course, you are welcome.

 

[Linda Rose]

small town slander hurts

From California to the lady who is having problems with slander/Girl Scouts: I am not a lawyer but I can totally relate to your story. I have sympathy for you. I recently had a similar situation with a homeschool teacher and her following of homeschool mothers (who were also 4-H leaders). It was a small town and the situation got way out of hand, dividing the community in many ways. Drugs were involved here also. You have a right to stand up for your principles. You were trying to do something good, but maybe did not go about it in the best way (we don't always KNOW the best way at the time). If you truly feel that these Girl Scout leaders are not being fair, decent citizens like they are supposed to be, be happy they kicked your daughter out and start your own volunteer group, or your own Girl Scout troupe. Try not to be vindictive (it is easier said than done). After I was harrassed for months, keeping my mouth shut due to my position at the local public school, I finally got vindictive and now things are all blown out of proportion, horrible rumors being spread about me. Integrity is the key word here. Be the better person. Making complaints to the Girl Scout organization probably won't get you anywhere - it didn't for me with 4-H. You're not alone. Hold your head high (again, easier said than done). Sometimes the bad guys win, but they have to live with themselves, and they probably have demons inside them that make them miserable inside. It helps to think about it that way and feel compassion instead of anger. Also, don't let other people make you feel bad, or wrong, when you are trying to do the right thing and stand up for what you KNOW is morally correct (and no, I am not a religious extremist, just anti-drug)! Stand in your truth! Be warned that sometimes people WILL NEVER STOP harassing you in subtle ways. Prepare yourself, research other "slander" cases, and start documenting proof if they continue to harass you and maybe in a few years you will have enough for a slander case, a civil suit, or at least a civil restraining order!

 

[JETX]

I am not a lawyer but I can totally relate to your story.

Oh Goodie!!

I have sympathy for you.

Please post all sympathy over at www.Oprah.com
Thank you.

troupe.

Troop. A 'troupe' is a company or group of touring actors, singers, or dancers.

Making complaints to the Girl Scout organization probably won't get you anywhere - it didn't for me with 4-H.

How can you say that?? They aren't even the same organization. For all we know, their failure to 'do anything' might have to do with the way you complained.....

You're not alone. Hold your head high (again, easier said than done).

Okay.... all together now...
"Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya
Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya!!"

Sometimes the bad guys win, but they have to live with themselves, and they probably have demons inside them that make them miserable inside. It helps to think about it that way and feel compassion instead of anger. Also, don't let other people make you feel bad, or wrong, when you are trying to do the right thing and stand up for what you KNOW is morally correct (and no, I am not a religious extremist, just anti-drug)! Stand in your truth! Be warned that sometimes people WILL NEVER STOP harassing you in subtle ways. Prepare yourself, research other "slander" cases, and start documenting proof if they continue to harass you and maybe in a few years you will have enough for a slander case, a civil suit, or at least a civil restraining order!

Oh, wow!! I am having visions of CareBears, "My Little Pony" and 'Forever Friends' Teddy bears!!
Awww, come on everyone. Lets all gather by the lights of our computer monitors and sing 'happy songs'. And maybe when we are done, we can all go outside and blow little soap bubbles and fly kites!!

 

[Linda Rose]

California
I thought this forum was to help people and try to receive/give advice. The guy/girl? that replied here seems to be going around just enjoying slamming people. I was here seeking advice and info on slander cases and found a situation very similar to mine. Unfortunately if there is a statute of limitations for filing suit (a year), then I waited too long to sue for some of the more serious slander/defamation that I had documented proof of (such as saved e-mails this person sent to my co-workers).

 

[BelizeBreeze]

California
I thought this forum was to help people and try to receive/give advice.

And that's exactly what you got, twice.

The guy/girl? that replied here seems to be going around just enjoying slamming people.

Hey, you're the one who brough 'touchy - feely' crap onto a LEGAL site.

I was here seeking advice and info on slander cases and found a situation very similar to mine.

Want to bet? the poster lives in Rhode Island, you live in California. The poster has a problem with the Girl Scout leader, you have a problem with a teacher. Where the HELL is the similarity?

Unfortunately if there is a statute of limitations for filing suit (a year), then I waited too long to sue for some of the more serious slander/defamation that I had documented proof of (such as saved e-mails this person sent to my co-workers).

And, of course, you are wrong again. But since you hijacked another's thread for your own crap, who cares?

 

[stephenk]

"They also brought out a police report (from when they called last year for no reason) and used that as a "I fear for my life" tactic"

What police report? Who called the police and for what? Why did you just gloss over that part of your post?