Possibly Moving

[shanek31]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Hi I am trying to get some information to help me out with my current situation. I currently have a son (age 3) with my x-girlfriend which I have 50/50 custody and we both live in PA right now. I have a better job opportunity which came up with my company except it's in Florida. I don't know how this would effect my current custody agreement I know the same agreement wouldn't work how would it work with still getting to see my child and my family being able to still get time with him since they still will be living in PA. My mother-in-law lives in Florida where I was looking at a house and she doesn't work so would be able to help raise my soon to be children and my wife will only be working part-time if I can take this new position. I would have my own house and all the same things I do now in PA just would be able to provide much better and feel more comfortable financially.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Hi I am trying to get some information to help me out with my current situation. I currently have a son (age 3) with my x-girlfriend which I have 50/50 custody and we both live in PA right now. I have a better job opportunity which came up with my company except it's in Florida. I don't know how this would effect my current custody agreement I know the same agreement wouldn't work how would it work with still getting to see my child and my family being able to still get time with him since they still will be living in PA. My mother-in-law lives in Florida where I was looking at a house and she doesn't work so would be able to help raise my soon to be children and my wife will only be working part-time if I can take this new position. I would have my own house and all the same things I do now in PA just would be able to provide much better and feel more comfortable financially.

You will need a long-distance visitation plan. Do not expect to get custody of your child. Your parents, etc. will be able to see the child on your time, or when/if Mom allows them to spend time with him. They will not get visitation in addition to yours.

You can pretty well figure on alternating holidays and school breaks, and a portion of the summer. You can also expect to pay for all costs associated with visitation since you would be creating the distance.

 

[sandyclaus]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Hi I am trying to get some information to help me out with my current situation. I currently have a son (age 3) with my x-girlfriend which I have 50/50 custody and we both live in PA right now. I have a better job opportunity which came up with my company except it's in Florida. I don't know how this would effect my current custody agreement I know the same agreement wouldn't work how would it work with still getting to see my child and my family being able to still get time with him since they still will be living in PA. My mother-in-law lives in Florida where I was looking at a house and she doesn't work so would be able to help raise my soon to be children and my wife will only be working part-time if I can take this new position. I would have my own house and all the same things I do now in PA just would be able to provide much better and feel more comfortable financially.

Simply put, your 50/50 custody agreement will go right out the window. You wouldn't be living close enough to maintain that kind of custody arrangement.

As has been suggested, you and the ex need to put together a long-distance parenting plan. That means one of you will have the primary residential custody, and the other will have visitations - probably every other weekend, an extended period over the summer, and certain holidays. Understand also that because YOU are the one creating the distance, YOU would need to make an accommodation by paying for part or all of the transportation costs to facilitate that visitation and maintain the relationship between the child and NCP.

Also understand that any visitation plan would be for YOUR benefit only. It's not intended to provide visitation with your wife and mother-in-law, nor any future children you might have. If you cannot be present for the visitation, then it would be inappropriate for the MIL and your wife to step in and exercise it for you while you're working.

If the two of you cannot work out a plan amongst yourselves that you can agree upon, then the next step will be back to court - in PA - to have the judge decide for you.

 

[stealth2]

As has been suggested, you and the ex need to put together a long-distance parenting plan. That means one of you will have the primary residential custody, and the other will have visitations - probably every other weekend, an extended period over the summer, and certain holidays. Understand also that because YOU are the one creating the distance, YOU would need to make an accommodation by paying for part or all of the transportation costs to facilitate that visitation and maintain the relationship between the child and NCP.

Every other w/e between PA & FL is rather unlikely. MAYBE one w/e a month.

And while the child is only three, I suppose every other week is doable, logistically - not so much financially, IMO. Once he starts regular school? No way.

 

[NYCTeacher]

The child is not in school. At 3yrs old has very few 'ties' to the community, i.e. church, extra curricular activities and there is extended family living in Florida....

You NEED to make a case that it is in the best interest of the child to move to Florida with you...Now, your odds are VERY slim that you will be able to prove this to the court. The other posters are right about that. BUT, as a father you HAVE to try. I don't know why no one else is ATLEAST telling you to TRY!

So tell me, WHY is it in the best interest of the child to move to Florida with you? Better schools? Safer community? Is the child better off with you for some reason? They are THOUSANDS of reasons women use every year to move away with the child, if i were you, i'd be researching PA case law on move-away cases.


Straight up, IMO, a REAL father wouldn't move 1,000 miles away from their child, NO job is more important then your job as a Father. So, if I couldn't get the child to move with me, I wouldn't move.

 

[mmmagique]

The child is not in school. At 3yrs old has very few 'ties' to the community, i.e. church, extra curricular activities and there is extended family living in Florida....

You NEED to make a case that it is in the best interest of the child to move to Florida with you...Now, your odds are VERY slim that you will be able to prove this to the court. The other posters are right about that. BUT, as a father you HAVE to try. I don't know why no one else is ATLEAST telling you to TRY!

So tell me, WHY is it in the best interest of the child to move to Florida with you? Better schools? Safer community? Is the child better off with you for some reason? They are THOUSANDS of reasons women use every year to move away with the child, if i were you, i'd be researching PA case law on move-away cases.


Straight up, IMO, a REAL father wouldn't move 1,000 miles away from their child, NO job is more important then your job as a Father. So, if I couldn't get the child to move with me, I wouldn't move.

The bolded is great advice.

The rest of it? Utter rubbish.

 

[NYCTeacher]

The bolded is great advice.

The rest of it? Utter rubbish.

What part is rubbish? Don't mothers try to file move-away orders everyday? I stated his chances are slim, are you saying he shouldn't even try?

 

[stealth2]

What part is rubbish? Don't mothers try to file move-away orders everyday? I stated his chances are slim, are you saying he shouldn't even try?

Personally? No, he should not. He is CHOOSING for his child to only have one active/present parent in his (the child's) life. That is HIS choice - it isn't reasonable for the child to lose the other parent's active involvement because HE chooses to move. If his kid is that important to him - he can suck it up and stay in PA. Period.

 

[LdiJ]

What part is rubbish? Don't mothers try to file move-away orders everyday? I stated his chances are slim, are you saying he shouldn't even try?

I would be giving the same advice to any other parent with a 50/50 schedule. The only parents who seem to have any real success with relocating children are ones with primary custody. It can be quite foolish to spend a ton of legal bucks fighting an unwinnable case when that money will be needed to facilitate visitation.

 

[NYCTeacher]

I would be giving the same advice to any other parent with a 50/50 schedule. The only parents who seem to have any real success with relocating children are ones with primary custody. It can be quite foolish to spend a ton of legal bucks fighting an unwinnable case when that money will be needed to facilitate visitation.

He didn't give us any information beyond that there is currently a 50/50 order, the mother could very possibly be a neglectful drug addict with a fondness for physically abusing children or she could be leave it to beavers mom, we just don't know....Fathers don't tend to start their threads whining about the ex's failings like Mothers do. They start with the facts and usually need the specifics pulled out of them. That's why i asked why it would be in the best interest of the child to move with him. It's an important question and IMO, the first question that should have been asked.

My advice was basically, 'win a move-away case so his child moves with him, or DON'T move'....If he decides to move 1,000 miles away from his child there is NO advice ANYONE can give him that can make that OK. I just hope one day the child forgives him for the abandonment.

 

[stealth2]

He didn't give us any information beyond that there is currently a 50/50 order, the mother could very possibly be a neglectful drug addict with a fondness for physically abusing children or she could be leave it to beavers mom, we just don't know....Fathers don't tend to start their threads whining about the ex's failings like Mothers do. They start with the facts and usually need the specifics pulled out of them. That's why i asked why it would be in the best interest of the child to move with him.

My advice was basically, 'win a move-away case so his child moves with him, or DON'T move'....If he decides to move 1,000 miles away from his child there is NO advice ANYONE can give him that can make that OK. I just hope one day the child forgives him for the abandonment.

Yet you advocate that he effectively force Mom to abandon the child, by moving him to FL. Wonder if the child will someday forgive his Dad for THAT.

And there is no "winning" a move-away case. The child loses.

 

[Ladyback1]

Fathers don't tend to start their threads whining about the ex's failings like Mothers do. They start with the facts and usually need the specifics pulled out of them. That's why i asked why it would be in the best interest of the child to move with him. It's an important question and IMO, the first question that should have been asked.

Oh please! It doesn't matter male or female. Just as many fathers start their post with "whining"...your bias is showing.

 

[stealth2]

The child is not in school. At 3yrs old has very few 'ties' to the community, i.e. church, extra curricular activities and there is extended family living in Florida....

And just what extended family is in FL? StepMom's Mother. OP's family, and presumably Mom's family... live in PA (as he posted). Why should the child be ripped from HIS family to live with Dad and a bunch of (legal) strangers?

 

[NYCTeacher]

And just what extended family is in FL? StepMom's Mother. OP's family, and presumably Mom's family... live in PA (as he posted). Why should the child be ripped from HIS family to live with Dad and a bunch of (legal) strangers?

Yup Very Slim odds as i've said all along. He would need a VERY VERY good answer to my question. Why is it in the best interest of the child to move to Florida with you?

 

[stealth2]

Yup Very Slim odds as i've said all along. He would need a VERY VERY good answer to my question. Why is it in the best interest of the child to move to Florida with you?

SO why did you argue that the child would be with "extended family"?