darkbrooke
Junior Member
I'm not sure if I should divorce her or get a postnumptial agreement or what but the situation is making me miserable and could potentially get bad.
Here's what happened:
1. My wife came to the US with a tourist visa, unsure how long she was staying.
2. She lied and said she couldn't get pregnant but within the first month she was.
3. Only knowing her for a couple months I married her out of good faith and love, and the potential that our relationship could have.
4. We got married in June after finding out she was pregnant.
5. She got angry and jealous frequently over nothing frequently and was very difficult to live with.
6. She stayed in the US 2 months past her tourist visa as we planned to file for permanent greencard and I bought her heathcare.
7. She freaked out in September and one night got angry over virtually nothing and changed her ticket home for the next day. I think she created a reason to get angry with me before giving me a reason to get angry with her, even though I wasn't angry but just devastated.
8. She left the next day.
9. She gave birth to our son in Spain in January.
10. Now she wants me to file for the greencard and it feels wrong. I am considering divorce even though I still love her.
Here's why:
1. I dont trust her any more, even though I love her very much. She has a problem with anger and makes bad choices and big changes when she gets angry. Things she can not reverse. This is her track record.
2. Financially she is not responsible for anything and doesnt understand how to manage money, especially not in the US.
3. I have been working and saving and being miserable here alone all winter long. She is with her family, with our son, in the warm mediterranean weather.
4. It was her choice to leave me at a time when I needed her and needed to be together with our newborn son. I practically begged her not to leave.. partly because leaving me that way would compromise my feelings for her.
5. She is fine with not working and collecting welfare and that mentality doesn't work in the US. I think she will be a leach on me. Plus she has no good education and has never had a real job except in her parents business at home. I will be totally financially responsible for her. She hopes to study but again it will be me picking up the tab.
6. She is a spiteful person. If we divorce she will use any and all powers to take alimony, child support, and welfare.
7. I can not even talk to her about my unhappiness with her otherwise she immediately threatens to stay in her country and make a life there without me and threatens that I will not see my son.
8. part of the reason she left was because she was afraid to give birth to our son here, thereby giving me the upper hand legally in case she wanted to leave with our son.
9. I have been working full time and making sacrifices to my career in order to save money to buy a home which she demands before moving back here. Meanwhile she is neither with me nor saving money. I must send her money while she lives with her parents.
So I am giving many reasons why I like the idea to divorce her but its true I still love her. I just don't know how to build trust with her in a way that doesn't put me in greater risk for her tantrums and anger. She has made my life virtually unlivable and it has compromised everything from my friendships to my job. That's why I'm afraid of continuing.
Is there a way that a postnuptual agreement could help out?
Is divorce the best thing?
Is it possible to divorce and remarry her if she can regain my trust?
WA, USAWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Here's what happened:
1. My wife came to the US with a tourist visa, unsure how long she was staying.
2. She lied and said she couldn't get pregnant but within the first month she was.
3. Only knowing her for a couple months I married her out of good faith and love, and the potential that our relationship could have.
4. We got married in June after finding out she was pregnant.
5. She got angry and jealous frequently over nothing frequently and was very difficult to live with.
6. She stayed in the US 2 months past her tourist visa as we planned to file for permanent greencard and I bought her heathcare.
7. She freaked out in September and one night got angry over virtually nothing and changed her ticket home for the next day. I think she created a reason to get angry with me before giving me a reason to get angry with her, even though I wasn't angry but just devastated.
8. She left the next day.
9. She gave birth to our son in Spain in January.
10. Now she wants me to file for the greencard and it feels wrong. I am considering divorce even though I still love her.
Here's why:
1. I dont trust her any more, even though I love her very much. She has a problem with anger and makes bad choices and big changes when she gets angry. Things she can not reverse. This is her track record.
2. Financially she is not responsible for anything and doesnt understand how to manage money, especially not in the US.
3. I have been working and saving and being miserable here alone all winter long. She is with her family, with our son, in the warm mediterranean weather.
4. It was her choice to leave me at a time when I needed her and needed to be together with our newborn son. I practically begged her not to leave.. partly because leaving me that way would compromise my feelings for her.
5. She is fine with not working and collecting welfare and that mentality doesn't work in the US. I think she will be a leach on me. Plus she has no good education and has never had a real job except in her parents business at home. I will be totally financially responsible for her. She hopes to study but again it will be me picking up the tab.
6. She is a spiteful person. If we divorce she will use any and all powers to take alimony, child support, and welfare.
7. I can not even talk to her about my unhappiness with her otherwise she immediately threatens to stay in her country and make a life there without me and threatens that I will not see my son.
8. part of the reason she left was because she was afraid to give birth to our son here, thereby giving me the upper hand legally in case she wanted to leave with our son.
9. I have been working full time and making sacrifices to my career in order to save money to buy a home which she demands before moving back here. Meanwhile she is neither with me nor saving money. I must send her money while she lives with her parents.
So I am giving many reasons why I like the idea to divorce her but its true I still love her. I just don't know how to build trust with her in a way that doesn't put me in greater risk for her tantrums and anger. She has made my life virtually unlivable and it has compromised everything from my friendships to my job. That's why I'm afraid of continuing.
Is there a way that a postnuptual agreement could help out?
Is divorce the best thing?
Is it possible to divorce and remarry her if she can regain my trust?
WA, USAWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
