Prenup..shouldn't it be called..Predump?

[heyjude22]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
My husband to be wants a prenup before marriage because he owns his own home and has a pension coming in 5 years. I would be coming into the marriage with nothing and he says I would leave with nothing. I haven't been able to find work due to economy and have limitations due to ankle fraction/now arthritis. I am looking for work but fear if i don't get a job, and he wants to divorce me, i would have nothing to survive on and fear we are suppose to be moving out of state to Alabama away from my homebase. I need to know how to protect myself, what if anything would there be as far as protection for me legally? I felt before 5 years 2,000 from him ..5 years 5,000 and 5,000 every 5 yrs. after(Him keeping whats his) geez..won't be to many 5 years cuz' we are in our mid 50's now!
Up a creek without a paddle? or a boat?
ude

 

[nextwife]

A prenup is NOT a "predump". I had a similar scenario to yours before marriage - owned a home and other assets BEFORE marriage, and husband to be had been cleaned out by his ex and brought little in assets to the marriage.

I had a pre nup to protect what I brought to the marriage. Matter of fact, husband to be INSISTED on it so I'd know that he respected my right to take what I brought to the marriage away with me IF things did not work out. Of course, what we acquire DURING the marriage belongs to us both. And we are now happily married 14 years now with no dumping by either of us.

When did you lose your job, and how old are you? If he will be getting a pension in only five years, neither of you are kids, I presume. Have you not saved into IRAs or 401ks to provide for your OWN future retirement if you DIDN'T marry him, or someone else?

 

[ecmst12]

Do NOT sign anything without getting advice from your own lawyer.

 

[heyjude22]

We are both 55. I have nothing..I lost my job 3 years ago.

 

[cyjeff]

I am curious.

How much of his assets do you believe you are due for the action of becoming his wife?

 

[heyjude22]

I believe I should be entitled to 2000 dollars up to 5years of marriage. He is marrying me moving me to a different state full knowing i have nothing or job. After 5 years then 5,000 each 5 years thereafter. Nothing more..or do you think I should be kicked to the curb with nothing...I am partially disabled..and have limitations working...i can't stand, walking alot, and am in pain all the time. I believe i would be contributing to our home and him to deserve being treated as though I am worth help getting on my feet. Due to the facts...So what do you think is fair?

 

[Proserpina]

I believe I should be entitled to 2000 dollars up to 5years of marriage. He is marrying me moving me to a different state full knowing i have nothing or job. After 5 years then 5,000 each 5 years thereafter. Nothing more..or do you think I should be kicked to the curb with nothing...I am partially disabled..and have limitations working...i can't stand, walking alot, and am in pain all the time. I believe i would be contributing to our home and him to deserve being treated as though I am worth help getting on my feet. Due to the facts...So what do you think is fair?

So have you tried applying for SSI/SSDI?

 

[cyjeff]

I believe I should be entitled to 2000 dollars up to 5years of marriage. He is marrying me moving me to a different state full knowing i have nothing or job. After 5 years then 5,000 each 5 years thereafter. Nothing more..or do you think I should be kicked to the curb with nothing...I am partially disabled..and have limitations working...i can't stand, walking alot, and am in pain all the time. I believe i would be contributing to our home and him to deserve being treated as though I am worth help getting on my feet. Due to the facts...So what do you think is fair?

I think the fair thing would be for you two to forgo marriage.

If you are both working out an exit strategy, you have bigger hills to climb than this.

But no, I don't believe that you are allowed to place a monetary amount on the amount of time you spend in his bed any more than he is allowed to charge you rent for the time you lived in his home.

You are not his hooker. He is not your landlord. The fact that you are unemployed and disabled doesn't mean that he owes you a check the day after the wedding if you decide to leave.

 

[Proserpina]

I think the fair thing would be for you two to forgo marriage.

If you are both working out an exit strategy, you have bigger hills to climb than this.

But no, I don't believe that you are allowed to place a monetary amount on the amount of time you spend in his bed any more than he is allowed to charge you rent for the time you lived in his home.

You are not his hooker. He is not your landlord. The fact that you are unemployed and disabled doesn't mean that he owes you a check the day after the wedding if you decide to leave.

Sigh...if Tom Cruise can do it with Katie, I suppose it can be done by everyone else...

(sucks, doesn't it?)

 

[heyjude22]

Your right, maybe i should forgo this. I don't want what I am not entitled to..I thought that me as a person counts for something not my net worth. He knows my situation going into this..

 

[heyjude22]

Your right, maybe i should forgo this. I don't want what I am not entitled to..I thought that me as a person counts for something not my net worth. He knows my situation going into this..

 

[cyjeff]

Your right, maybe i should forgo this. I don't want what I am not entitled to..I thought that me as a person counts for something not my net worth. He knows my situation going into this..

And this is where it breaks down.

You feel you are ENTITLED to some of his assets because of the person that you are.

He feels that you are not. Maybe he feels that providing you with food, shelter, insurance, clothing and security should be enough for someone that has nothing.

You, apparently, feel that you should be paid on a sliding scale for... um... what? Companionship? Sex?

Are you planning on paying him back for your living expenses or are those also his burden to bear because you are such a catch that he should be privileged to do so?

 

[cyjeff]

Ultimately, it comes down to this....

If you don't like his prenup, don't sign it and don't get married.

Make a counter offer... if he doesn't like it, he won't sign it and you won't get married.

It is unusual for a marriage to START with both parties having lawyers present, but I guess them times truly are a' changing.

 

[Zigner]

I believe I should be entitled to 2000 dollars up to 5years of marriage. He is marrying me moving me to a different state full knowing i have nothing or job. After 5 years then 5,000 each 5 years thereafter.

In most states, there is a word for this...

 

[Just Blue]

Your right, maybe i should forgo this. I don't want what I am not entitled to..I thought that me as a person counts for something not my net worth. He knows my situation going into this..

Who is supporting you now?