Preparing for asset division

[marrieddewd]

What is the name of your state? GA

It looks like it is likely my wife and I will divorce. I came into the marriage with all the money and bought the houses and cars, which are all in my name.

She hasn't been working since our 2nd child for the last 2 1/2 years, but now she is looking for a job.

I'm assuming the best course of action is to just co-habitate until she gets that 2nd job, and then start transitioning her bills into her name. This way I can avoid alimony.

I'm also avoiding putting the house up for sale, so the court can't divvy up any extra cash.

Is this the best course of action to maintain my assets? She tends to burn through money, so I want to make sure she walks away with as little as possible, so I have enough left over to support the kids.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? GA

It looks like it is likely my wife and I will divorce. I came into the marriage with all the money and bought the houses and cars, which are all in my name.

She hasn't been working since our 2nd child for the last 2 1/2 years, but now she is looking for a job.

I'm assuming the best course of action is to just co-habitate until she gets that 2nd job, and then start transitioning her bills into her name. This way I can avoid alimony.

I'm also avoiding putting the house up for sale, so the court can't divvy up any extra cash.

Is this the best course of action to maintain my assets? She tends to burn through money, so I want to make sure she walks away with as little as possible, so I have enough left over to support the kids.

If the assets were purchased during the marriage, with marital funds (any money earned during the marriage) then the assets are marital property. You are going to have to understand that marital property gets divided in a divorce, whether you sell the assets or not. That is just reality.

 

[marrieddewd]

How could they possibly divide it, force me to sell the house? I don't have enough cash in the bank to even come close to covering the difference.

I closed on the house like 1 week after we got married. It was purchased with assets acquired PRIOR to marriage. All that down payment money was mine, my wife had nothing.

 

[HRZ]

You might have a point IF there was clear separation of funds as to down payment ...but any increases in equity or value are sure to fall in the marital pot for division.

Probably smarter to be supportive of wife to find best paying job .

And since debt is also up for division ...I'd close down any open windows where a free spender might run up new debt .

 

[not2cleverRed]

You don't seem to respect your wife. Be careful about that. It can be a bit off putting.

At the very least, any equity in the home accrued during marriage is a marital asset.

And yes, if you don't have the money in the bank to buy out her share, and cannot get a loan in that amount, you could be ordered to sell the house.

It is possible that instead of selling it, a lien could be placed against the property, with an agreement that the lien will be satisfied at some future date. This is a possibility a couple might use if they are trying to avoid disruption in the kids' lives, having the custodial parent keep the house until some milestone, like the children graduating high school. However, it is sometimes difficult to get that party to sell when the time comes, which can mean that the other parent doesn't get their money. Even scarier, is if the house is foreclosed... It happens.

Depending on what your idea of what wasteful with money is, that may be taken into account in determining an equable distribution of assets.

 

[LdiJ]

How could they possibly divide it, force me to sell the house? I don't have enough cash in the bank to even come close to covering the difference.

I closed on the house like 1 week after we got married. It was purchased with assets acquired PRIOR to marriage. All that down payment money was mine, my wife had nothing.

Assets are divided on paper to determine each person's net share, and then you figure out how to divide the actual assets to accomplish that. If the down payment money was yours, then you might have a claim for that, but the rest of the equity in the house is going to be marital property, because marital income paid the payments...same with the cars...same with any money you put into a 401k or IRA over the years...same with any money put into any other kinds of assets etc.

You are both equally responsible for any marital debt (debt accrued during the marriage) so that also gets divided and factors into the mix as well. However debt for big ticket items like a house, car, RV etc stays with whomever keeps that particular asset.

 

[xylene]

You aren't poor, but not really rich either. You want to get a lawyer. You situation is not going to present any surprises to a family law lawyer.

The bills seems kinda weird, like you haven't really thought that out... why would she pay bills on a house you expect to keep?

Anyway, divorce is not going to sort out your money hang ups, and is going to cost you a lot of money. You have a kid around 3?

Your money values don't mean you are going to keep the kids either..

 

[marrieddewd]

Sounds to me the best course of action is to make sure she gets a job, and leave the rest up to lawyers if it comes to that.

About respecting my wife, that isn't really a topic for this forum, but to answer I'm just aware how badly she manages money. Its just a fact.

 

[stealth2]

Given that you apparently have two children, at least one under the age of five and your wife doesn't work, Mom is more than likely to retain physical custody.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Sounds to me the best course of action is to make sure she gets a job, and leave the rest up to lawyers if it comes to that.

About respecting my wife, that isn't really a topic for this forum, but to answer I'm just aware how badly she manages money. Its just a fact.

Look, you've said that you want to keep the marital home in the divorce, if at all financially possible.

And you want to keep as much money as possible, so you can support your kids. By the way, most people pay child support out of their income, not savings.

And your postings kind of imply that you're okay with her getting physical custody, you just want the house. I mean, there's no talk of how you want to keep the house so that the kids' lives aren't disrupted, or that you are the primary childcare provider, or Mom is unfit...

Your plan seems rather half baked. Do you actually know how alimony is determined in Georgia? Because basing your actions on the fear that your wife could be awarded permanent alimony is not good. If there's any alimony ordered, it would be short term. Commenting that the manages money poorly... well, that's vague. What you see as poor money management might not seem so by others... Or it could, on the other hand, rise to the level of wasteful dissipation of marital assets.

Today's WSJ has an article about kitchens, and a couple spending $500K on a "kid friendly" kitchen remodel. That would be considered a waste of money in my family, because kids grow big fast, and then everyone is inconvenienced by all these things built for easy accessibility for tiny people. But it seems to work for that couple, and was a joint decision. If it were a unilateral decision, and one party didn't know about the money involved, that would be different.

 

[marrieddewd]

Thanks guys for the replies. Some time has passed and some things have changed, I just wanted to circle back on something more specific.

She found a job and starts in 3 weeks. I would like to suggest divorce now as a way to snap her into reality. Think of it as an ultimatum. Either she respects the vows of the marriage or I initiate divorce.

So my question is, should I wait for her to actually start the job or don't worry about it? You mentioned alimony is short-term anyhow and I don't think she would rescind the job offer just to collect alimony. She has already told me she wants a job in case things don't work out so she isn't "scrounging" for money. I just wanted to double check with you guys before I drop the bomb.

With some monitoring software I caught her looking at homeschooling options. She has a cousin that lives off of child support from 3 dads and home schools them. I don't want to be getting into that situation. I just want to split custody 50/50, she pays her bills, I pay my bills. She can live in whatever she can afford, and I'll live in the same house or I'll get a new one, doesn't matter.

Following this conversation I'm going to draft terms of an uncontested divorce. Then if she doesn't agree to those, we can just battle it out in court.

 

[stealth2]

I would like to suggest divorce now as a way to snap her into reality.

Don't threaten anything you are not willing to follow through on.

 

[marrieddewd]

Oh I'm willing to follow through. Let me simplify my question. Should I keep this close to the vest until she actually starts work, or doesn't it matter.

Again I want to minimize or eliminate any alimony or child support because I don't believe it is necessary. She can afford to pay her own bills.

 

[stealth2]

Oh I'm willing to follow through. Let me simplify my question. Should I keep this close to the vest until she actually starts work, or doesn't it matter.

Again I want to minimize or eliminate any alimony or child support because I don't believe it is necessary. She can afford to pay her own bills.

Good luck with that - having been the primary caregiver, she will likely maintain custody. At minimum 50/50. And you WILL be paying child support. And at least a portion of daycare while she works. Health insurance.

 

[Zigner]

Again I want to minimize or eliminate any alimony or child support because I don't believe it is necessary. She can afford to pay her own bills.

And that is the crux of the matter. Child support is NOT to pay her bills...it's to pay for the kids.

As was mentioned previously, your attitude towards the mother of your children leaves a lot to be desired. Folks who will be evaluating this down the road are going to pick up on that.