Preparing for asset division

[stealth2]

And.... Child Support is about the children - Both parents are responsible.

 

[stealth2]

is to pay her bills

is NOT.... fixed it for ya, Zig.

 

[Zigner]

Right - You knew what I meant

I added the word "not" very prominently just now. Oops.

 

[stealth2]

Right - You knew what I meant

I added the word "not" very prominently just now. Oops.

I certainly did. But dewd may not have.

 

[marrieddewd]

Ok let me be more clear. I have no problems providing for my kids. In fact, I will provide healthcare, and we can split daycare 75/25. I'll buy them clothes for my house and she can buy them clothes for her house, and we can even share clothes too. She can pay for groceries at her house and I'll pay for groceries at mine.

I have seen my wife use child support from her first marriage on her crap, not her son (like a car payment). So that's why I have this negative attitude.

She is now having second thoughts about taking this job, just found out a moment ago.

You guys haven't answered me yet, should I wait until she starts the job to have a chance at avoiding alimony? She is perfectly capable of having a job and it isn't fair that she would avoid one just so I have to foot the bill. She needs to get back to work!!!

 

[Zigner]

You guys haven't answered me yet, should I wait until she starts the job to have a chance at avoiding alimony? She is perfectly capable of having a job and it isn't fair that she would avoid one just so I have to foot the bill. She needs to get back to work!!!

Any strategy-related questions related to your legal matters are best left to your attorney.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ok let me be more clear. I have no problems providing for my kids. In fact, I will provide healthcare, and we can split daycare 75/25. I'll buy them clothes for my house and she can buy them clothes for her house, and we can even share clothes too. She can pay for groceries at her house and I'll pay for groceries at mine.

I have seen my wife use child support from her first marriage on her crap, not her son (like a car payment). So that's why I have this negative attitude.

She is now having second thoughts about taking this job, just found out a moment ago.

You guys haven't answered me yet, should I wait until she starts the job to have a chance at avoiding alimony? She is perfectly capable of having a job and it isn't fair that she would avoid one just so I have to foot the bill. She needs to get back to work!!!

Child support is to pay for things like a car payment, house payment, utilities. If it comes in and those are paid and she buys a Gucci purse, that is allowed. That is appropriate. That is what the REIMBURSEMENT of child support does.

 

[Zigner]

Child support is to pay for things like a car payment, house payment, utilities. If it comes in and those are paid and she buys a Gucci purse, that is allowed. That is appropriate. That is what the REIMBURSEMENT of child support does.

Yes - that is true. They are reimbursement. I'll never see my plane

 

[marrieddewd]

I understand I should ask an attorney too, but does anyone else have an opinion if I should wait for her to go back to work or not before we have the big D conversation?

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes - that is true. They are reimbursement. I'll never see my plane

Where is the POOL analogy? Didn't find it but you can explain it. Going back to stress free.

 

[Ohiogal]

I understand I should ask an attorney too, but does anyone else have an opinion if I should wait for her to go back to work or not before we have the big D conversation?

You need to get realistic. You aren't... Depending on her income and yours, how long you have been married and what not, you will be paying either alimony, child support or both.

 

[Zigner]

I understand I should ask an attorney too, but does anyone else have an opinion if I should wait for her to go back to work or not before we have the big D conversation?

That is NOT a question that we can answer. We're random strangers on the internet...most are not lawyers, and the one (so far) who is a lawyer would tell you the same thing. Talk to a local attorney.

 

[stealth2]

it isn't fair

Giggle. Who told you life was fair?

Anyway, you may not get 50/50, since Mom has been the primary caregiver as a SAHM. And depending on the income differential - you might still be paying CS.

And yes - talk to your atty regarding strategy.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks guys for the replies. Some time has passed and some things have changed, I just wanted to circle back on something more specific.

She found a job and starts in 3 weeks. I would like to suggest divorce now as a way to snap her into reality. Think of it as an ultimatum. Either she respects the vows of the marriage or I initiate divorce.

So my question is, should I wait for her to actually start the job or don't worry about it? You mentioned alimony is short-term anyhow and I don't think she would rescind the job offer just to collect alimony. She has already told me she wants a job in case things don't work out so she isn't "scrounging" for money. I just wanted to double check with you guys before I drop the bomb.

With some monitoring software I caught her looking at homeschooling options. She has a cousin that lives off of child support from 3 dads and home schools them. I don't want to be getting into that situation. I just want to split custody 50/50, she pays her bills, I pay my bills. She can live in whatever she can afford, and I'll live in the same house or I'll get a new one, doesn't matter.

Following this conversation I'm going to draft terms of an uncontested divorce. Then if she doesn't agree to those, we can just battle it out in court.

Please explain the bolded.

I do believe that you are in for a world of hurt, because you are totally clueless about the reality of things.

Even with a 50/50 timeshare, you WILL be paying child support...and the odds of you getting a 50/50 timeshare are slim to none since she has been a stay at home mother.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Please explain the bolded.

I do believe that you are in for a world of hurt, because you are totally clueless about the reality of things.

Even with a 50/50 timeshare, you WILL be paying child support...and the odds of you getting a 50/50 timeshare are slim to none since she has been a stay at home mother.

Honestly, considering how he started out in his old thread... he just becomes less and less sympathetic.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/some-assets-not-in-wifes-name-also-not-working.647323/page-1

He has been warned that he's in for a world of hurt, but is not interested in listening.

The best advice we can give him is to get a reputable lawyer and keep his mouth shut.