privacy act

[nanabee2]

What is the name of your state?undefinedWhat is the name of your state?ok
My grandson was in the school systems pre-school.He is enrolled in their Kndg. for next fall. His teacher had forgot to get him some books before the end of school. My daughter enrolled him, with her being custodial parent. Not even mentioning father etc. After school ended teacher went to a DR. where ex husbands wife works as a nurse. Teacher noticed last name, ask step mom about child etc. the teacher then proceded to discuss child with step-mom and then on her next visit brought childs books to her. My daughter flipped out. Whats the best way to handle this. We have called school and they won't call us back.

 

[kat1963]

Unless there is a court order barring the biofather from obtaining the records/information then there isn't anything your daughter can do. Father isn't protesting information given to the stepmom on his behalf. I'm sure your daughter can get pissy about it, but father is just going to give stepmom a POA (to act on his behalf) so it's really not worth the trouble.

Under Federal Law there is FEPRA (Family Educational Rights And Privacy Act) which specifically states:
Section 99.4: Sec. 99.4 What are the rights of parents? "An educational agency or institution shall give full rights under the Act to either parent unless the agency or institution has been provided with evidence that there is a court order, state Statute, or legally binding document relating to such matters as divorce, separation, or custody, that specifically revokes these rights."

Oklahoma
§10-5.2. Certain information and records to be available to both custodial and noncustodial parent.
Any information or any record relating to a minor child which is available to the custodial parent of the child, upon request, shall also be provided the noncustodial parent of the child. Provided, however, that this right may be restricted by the court, upon application, if such action is deemed necessary in the best interests of the child. For the purpose of this section, "information" and "record" shall include, but not be limited to, information and records kept by the school, physician and medical facility of the minor child.

The school isn't going to get involved unless there is a court order. They stand to lose federal & state funding if they refuse to release information. Both are huge parts of their budgets.

Kids can never have too much caring and love!!!!

KAT

 

[frylover]

I am curious about two things, nanabee?

1) Aside from ticking off your daughter, what harm was done here?

2) "not even mentioning father, etc." really caught my eye in your post. Is there any particular reason why your daughter doesn't want the school to know your grandchild has a father?

 

[nanabee2]

daughter has total control, custody, etc etc etc as said in the decree. It is HER place to decide when and how father/stepmom know things. School conversations should go through his mother FIRST.

 

[frylover]

Oh, I see.

Poor man.

 

[nanabee2]

No you don't see. What would you do if your childs teacher went to lets say your mother-in-laws work place, struck up a conversation, finding out she was teacher of grandchild etc, then the teacher was to give MIL papers of your child or tell MIL something that really should of gone thru the parents first? I agree its not the end of the world, but what comes next? teacher talking to a neighbor, what going to keep her from saying your kid did bad on a test, hit a child in the class that day etc. It is a situation that COULD get out of hand.

 

[stephenk]

"It is HER place to decide when and how father/stepmom know things."

Does it actually say that in the custody order? The custody order specifically has language contrary to the law? Wow!

 

[stealth2]

What's so wrong with the father?

 

[nanabee2]

do you all not get it?

undefinedokla.

Do you all not understand her problem is with the SCHOOL SYSTEM, not the father!!!!!

 

[stealth2]

Unless the school system is prohibited EXPICITLY by court order, they are required to provide information to the father. What the teacher did may or may not be an issue. The question is - WHY is the father not to be given such information? WHY does your daughter think she is permitted to interfere with his getting information from the school? And for that matter - WHY do you have you fat nose in the middle of it? YOU have no more rights than the stepmother.

 

[nanabee2]

from the nana

They all live with me. I am the nana thats why!
Her and the father have a wonderful relationship. There are NO problems there. Our problem is with the school system. You all just don't get it, so never mind. It's like you just want someone to argue with .I come here for advice and all you guys want to do is make nasty comments. This place is a big joke!

The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world!

 

[stealth2]

Legally, you have NO rights. And if your daughter isn't careful, she may find that she's the one on the visiting end of custody. The father has EVERY right to know what is going on in school - FROM the school. Not only what your daughter decides to dole out to him.

 

[nanabee2]

school


THE SCHOOL IS THE PROBLEM> NOT THE DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[frylover]

nanabee, if you will re-read your posts it clearly sounds like you and mom have very BIG issues with dad--and I think that is what people are taking issue with.

"she never mentioned the father".

"it is up to HER to decide when and how he and the stepmom get information".

Everything in your posts suggests that your daughter doesn't want the child's father involved. And speaking as the spouse of someone whose first wife had "complete control and custody of the minor child" and used that right to only bestow on him the occasional right as she saw fit, reading stuff like that is very upsetting.

Now, most people here, who are more knowlegeable than I am do not think anything illegal was done. I can comment from a teacher's perspective, though.

Personally I don't think the teacher meant any harm. While I might be a little cautious about discussing a child's performance in class with a step parent who I had just met, outside of school and not knowing the full situation, I don't know that I would think twice about saying "Oh, you're Timmy Turner's step mom--I did so enjoy him this past year. I'm sure he's going to do well in kindergarten." I'd probably say it to you, too. But I don't think there was any vicious attempt to "go around your daughter."

The day that the teacher discusses your grandson with the next-door neighbor, you may have a legal case.

Again, if I misjudged your meaning, I apologize. But it did sound very much as though you and your daughter have a problem with dad, and that is more a control issue than anything else.

 

[Alexander1492]

The issue would arise in the nature of the conversation. If private grades, performances, issues etc. were discussed and/or intiated/stated by the teacher, you would have a legal standing. Ideologically the conversation should have ended with "Oh, your my step childs teacher, eh?" says step-mother, "Yes, he's a wonderful child." Replies the teacher. If you can find a confidential piece of information that was exchanged, you'll have a legal leg to stand on, if not (even though I agree with you that no conversation should have occured) you will not find yourself in a legal case. The best first step to take would be to file a complaint with your local Board of Education. Request a meeting with the principal of the school as a concerned parent, further requesting the teachers presence at this meeting. If they decline, take it up with the BOE, they will almost never decline a meeting due to the legal issues that could arise, they would rather settle it in some sort of meeting rather than in a courtroom and they'll take all possible steps to do that. If I have yet again, as you claim others have, misunderstood your issue, I apologize. I think that the language you used to describe the situation was a little tricky to read, consider making things a bit more clear and objective.

If there was private info. exchanged from the teacher to the non-custodial step-mom (whether it be in good faith and mean no harm or not) take the case as far as you can and put your complete effort behind riding the case out.

Good Luck,

-JP