Pro-Se this round

[CJane]

What is the name of your state? mo

Ok, I've been waiting until I'm no longer angry to actually post this... bear with me.

History:

Joint custody awarded 1 year ago. Language includes "Parents will confer and agree on any changes to medical providers" and "Parents will communicate with each other regarding all medical/educational/religious matters to include informing the other parent of all physician appointments prior to them taking place. Parents should also communicate all health related issues, medications taken, etc, as soon as possible after they become known."

While it's not in the order, the last time we were in court, the judge said "There's no reason on earth that the step-mother should be taking the children to doctor appointments. From now on, a parent should attend all appointments."

Ex appealed judges decision. Appeals court heard the case in ... Dec, I think... no decision as of the posting on the website today. (The appeals court updates their website every Monday with the decisions handed down the previous week).

Current situation:

1. Step-mom took 10 year old to the Doctor on Thursday.
2. She took my daughter to a different pediatrician than the children have seen since the birth of the 7 year old.
3. I was not informed of this appointment until Sunday night when I picked the kids up after their dad's visitation.
4. When I was informed, it was in writing in the form of a handwritten note from my ex stating that she'd gone to the doctor (didn't say where) and had been prescribed anti-biotics (didn't say what kind).
5. My child informed me she'd seen *Ex's new baby*'s pediatrician, and was prescribed Nasonex and Amoxicillin.

***** My child already takes Rhinocort and is allergic to penicillin.******

I called the pediatrician's office today and spoke to the records office, the nurse, and the nurse practitioner that saw my child.

Records Office Info:
She was, in fact brought in by Step-mom, who filled out all of the paperwork, including HIPPA (HIPPAA? whatever) paperwork. My name/contact information was NOT given and the 'in case parent cannot be reached' number is HER cell phone.

Nurse Info:
It is NOT noted in child's chart that she's allergic to penicillin.
It is NOT noted in child's chart that she has recurring allergy related sinus infections.
It is NOT noted in child's chart that she already takes a steriodal nasal spray for allergies, as well as Claritin and sudafed as needed this is the medications prescribed by the ENT doctor 3 years ago and followed (at least at my house) since.

Nurse Practitioner Info:
Child was diagnosed with a sinus infection. Amoxicillin was prescribed after step-mother said that I am allergic to penicillin, but that the child had taken it repeatedly with no reactions noted (Patently untrue. She took it ONCE at 8 months old, broke out in a rash, projectile vomited and has never taken it again).

Child was also prescribed Nasonex after NP asked about seasonal allergies and was told that the child "might" have allergies but had never been tested and had never taken medication for allergies. (Obviously untrue)

After my conversation with the NP, she was VERY frustrated at the incomplete and incorrect information that she received from SMom, and requested that 'we' make up our minds where the children receive medical care. Her assertion was that while this time, the miscommunications didn't result in harm to the child (though she did insist I throw away the Amox. and she called in a different prescription), it's quite possible that eventually they could.
******

I have composed a letter to the ex, outlining the events of the day (people I spoke to, etc), reminding him what the judge said about SMom taking the kids to appointments, and reminding him that I've repeatedly said that it's NEVER an issue for me to take time off work to take the children to the doctor if they're ill.

I also asked him to please stop taking them to physicians who are altogether unfamiliar with the medical history of our child (repeated ear infections, tubes in her ears, allergies, sinus infections, fluid in ears, hearing loss, etc) especially when they're being taken to that ignorant physician by someone who is also apparently ignorant of this particular child's issues.

I don't anticipate that he'll comply.

This is just today's issue. Small instances of contempt take place on a continuing basis.

Given the state of the current order (under appeal, not decided)... what's my best course of action?

My attorney is really not an option. She's currently divorcing my appeals attorney, and I just REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to go there.

 

[LdiJ]

I honestly think that you should wait until the appeals decision is handed down, and then immediately for file contempt against dad for everything, all at once.

I think that the judge will be hesitant to make decisions while the case is under appeal, which is why I don't think that you should do it now.

 

[CJane]

I honestly think that you should wait until the appeals decision is handed down, and then immediately for file contempt against dad for everything, all at once.

I think that the judge will be hesitant to make decisions while the case is under appeal, which is why I don't think that you should do it now.

It's been 3 months since the Appeals Court heard the case... anyone have any guesses on how long these things take? I've been told "it might be a year or so"... and I just can't wait that long when we're talking about medical things like I outlined. I can (and, knowing him, probably will) live forever with the minor instances of contempt... but this whole medicine thing is just unacceptable.

 

[CJane]

Ok, while I'm here... this is what I'm planning to send to the ex sometime today.
*****
STUPIDHEAD,

Several issues…

1. I will be taking my 2 weeks of uninterrupted time with the children from June 20 – July 5. So, please mark your calendar for June 15-July 5 (am) as mine.

2. The girls are going to BABYSITTER’S house for before and after school care, and will be going there on my days this summer as well. She lives at ADDRESS. I will drop them off there on Wednesday morning around 7:15. Whoever you choose to designate as transportation can pick them up there after 8. On my Fridays, the girls should be dropped off at BABYSITTER’S house not later than 8 am and I will retrieve them after work.

3. I still have not received insurance cards for the girls since YOUR EMPLOYER changed the Rx plan. I requested cards from you on February 11 while trying to fill a prescription for UNRULY at CS, and again in writing on February 13. I requested a copy of the prescription plan in the letter dated February 13 as well. As I still have not even received photo copies of the cards, I have requested them from HR.

4. I realize you are continuing to have SMOM take the girls to a different pediatrician than the one we’ve used since UNRULY was born. I’ll simply remind you that our current order mandates that we agree on any changes to health care providers, and not only have I not agreed to this change, I have stated more than once my opposition to it.

I’ll also remind you that when we were last in court, the judge stated that SMOM had no reason to ever take the children to the doctor and you or I should always be in attendance at appointments. He stated this in the context of it putting SMOM in a bad position as she’s not legally capable of making medical decisions for the children, the fact that due to the restraining orders SMOM and I are not allowed to communicate with each other and so I’m getting – at best – 3rd hand information if she’s the one taking them to the doctor and then informing you and you informing me several days later. He also said this with full knowledge of the incident that nearly resulted in UNRULY receiving unnecessary vaccinations.

There is no reason that the children should EVER need to be taken to the physician by anyone other than a parent. If you are too busy or out of town, I have repeatedly indicated to you that it is no issue at all for me to take them to the doctor. That still stands.

5. I spoke today with the records office at the pediatrician SMOM took WILD to. I also spoke with the nurse and the nurse practitioner. Following is a recap of our conversations:

a. All it said in WILD’s chart re: allergies to medication is “Mother is allergic, but child has taken Amoxicillin w/no reaction.” This is simply not true. This information has now been corrected, and due to receiving the correct information, the nurse practitioner changed the prescription to a non-penicillin medication (Cefzil). WILD will need to take this medication twice per day for 10 days. The NP said that the policy of nearly all physicians is to NOT EVER prescribe a drug in the penicillin family once a child has had what is deemed to be an allergic reaction because of the possible fatal consequences.

You were dishonest with me when I mentioned this to you Sunday night. You said “I spoke to the doctor and she said just because it’s the same family doesn’t mean it’s the same drug, and it’s fine for her to take it.” That conversation between you and the ‘doctor’ never took place.

b. Further, the NP informed me that she prescribed Nasonex for WILD because she was told that WILD ‘might’ have allergies and that she has never been on a prescription for allergy medications. WILD has been taking Rhinocort during allergy seasonfor years. I informed you earlier this month that I was refilling the girls’ Rhinocort prescriptions. WILD also received thorough allergy testing as an infant prior to having tubes put in her ears. The results indicated that she suffers from seasonal allergies and should be monitored closely.

c. I also informed the NP of the existing prescription for Rhinocort that WILD has. She said that there is no contraindication between Nasonex and Rhinocort, but that both are DAILY medications and not ‘as needed’. If you choose to give WILD the Nasonex while she’s with you, there’s no medical reason why you shouldn’t. However, please bear in mind that this medication is not going to be beneficial if you only give it to her when she ‘seems to need it’.

d. Finally, the NP was quite frustrated by the lack of and inconsistency in a medical history for a child she’s supposed to treat and keep healthy… particularly with regard to medications and previous diagnoses. It is her recommendation that the children no longer hop between offices as it can negatively impact the children’s health.

The children will continue seeing the physicians at AGREED PEDIATRICIAN for any issues encountered during my custodial periods, as that is the physician we chose together when UNRULY was an infant.

6. You informed me, in writing, Sunday night of WILD’s visit to the doctor and her prescription for Amoxicillin, yet you neglected to mention the prescription for Nasonex, or any other information. I have issues with receiving such incomplete information regarding the health of one of our children.

7. WILD has an appointment at DOCTOR’s Creekwood office on April 9 at 10am.

8. As you know, UNRULY was also prescribed Rhinocort this Fall after an ear infection. She needs to take this daily. You indicated on Sunday that you’re not interested in receiving this medication for her. Please let me know if I’m wrong.

Regards,

**********************
Thoughts?

Should I copy the GAL/court file?

 

[LdiJ]

Ok, while I'm here... this is what I'm planning to send to the ex sometime today.
*****
STUPIDHEAD,

Several issues…

1. I will be taking my 2 weeks of uninterrupted time with the children from June 20 – July 5. So, please mark your calendar for June 15-July 5 (am) as mine.

2. The girls are going to BABYSITTER’S house for before and after school care, and will be going there on my days this summer as well. She lives at ADDRESS. I will drop them off there on Wednesday morning around 7:15. Whoever you choose to designate as transportation can pick them up there after 8. On my Fridays, the girls should be dropped off at BABYSITTER’S house not later than 8 am and I will retrieve them after work.

3. I still have not received insurance cards for the girls since YOUR EMPLOYER changed the Rx plan. I requested cards from you on February 11 while trying to fill a prescription for UNRULY at CS, and again in writing on February 13. I requested a copy of the prescription plan in the letter dated February 13 as well. As I still have not even received photo copies of the cards, I have requested them from HR.

4. I realize you are continuing to have SMOM take the girls to a different pediatrician than the one we’ve used since UNRULY was born. I’ll simply remind you that our current order mandates that we agree on any changes to health care providers, and not only have I not agreed to this change, I have stated more than once my opposition to it.

I’ll also remind you that when we were last in court, the judge stated that SMOM had no reason to ever take the children to the doctor and you or I should always be in attendance at appointments. He stated this in the context of it putting SMOM in a bad position as she’s not legally capable of making medical decisions for the children, the fact that due to the restraining orders SMOM and I are not allowed to communicate with each other and so I’m getting – at best – 3rd hand information if she’s the one taking them to the doctor and then informing you and you informing me several days later. He also said this with full knowledge of the incident that nearly resulted in UNRULY receiving unnecessary vaccinations.

There is no reason that the children should EVER need to be taken to the physician by anyone other than a parent. If you are too busy or out of town, I have repeatedly indicated to you that it is no issue at all for me to take them to the doctor. That still stands.

5. I spoke today with the records office at the pediatrician SMOM took WILD to. I also spoke with the nurse and the nurse practitioner. Following is a recap of our conversations:

a. All it said in WILD’s chart re: allergies to medication is “Mother is allergic, but child has taken Amoxicillin w/no reaction.” This is simply not true. This information has now been corrected, and due to receiving the correct information, the nurse practitioner changed the prescription to a non-penicillin medication (Cefzil). WILD will need to take this medication twice per day for 10 days. The NP said that the policy of nearly all physicians is to NOT EVER prescribe a drug in the penicillin family once a child has had what is deemed to be an allergic reaction because of the possible fatal consequences.

You were dishonest with me when I mentioned this to you Sunday night. You said “I spoke to the doctor and she said just because it’s the same family doesn’t mean it’s the same drug, and it’s fine for her to take it.” That conversation between you and the ‘doctor’ never took place.

b. Further, the NP informed me that she prescribed Nasonex for WILD because she was told that WILD ‘might’ have allergies and that she has never been on a prescription for allergy medications. WILD has been taking Rhinocort during allergy seasonfor years. I informed you earlier this month that I was refilling the girls’ Rhinocort prescriptions. WILD also received thorough allergy testing as an infant prior to having tubes put in her ears. The results indicated that she suffers from seasonal allergies and should be monitored closely.

c. I also informed the NP of the existing prescription for Rhinocort that WILD has. She said that there is no contraindication between Nasonex and Rhinocort, but that both are DAILY medications and not ‘as needed’. If you choose to give WILD the Nasonex while she’s with you, there’s no medical reason why you shouldn’t. However, please bear in mind that this medication is not going to be beneficial if you only give it to her when she ‘seems to need it’.

d. Finally, the NP was quite frustrated by the lack of and inconsistency in a medical history for a child she’s supposed to treat and keep healthy… particularly with regard to medications and previous diagnoses. It is her recommendation that the children no longer hop between offices as it can negatively impact the children’s health.

The children will continue seeing the physicians at AGREED PEDIATRICIAN for any issues encountered during my custodial periods, as that is the physician we chose together when UNRULY was an infant.

6. You informed me, in writing, Sunday night of WILD’s visit to the doctor and her prescription for Amoxicillin, yet you neglected to mention the prescription for Nasonex, or any other information. I have issues with receiving such incomplete information regarding the health of one of our children.

7. WILD has an appointment at DOCTOR’s Creekwood office on April 9 at 10am.

8. As you know, UNRULY was also prescribed Rhinocort this Fall after an ear infection. She needs to take this daily. You indicated on Sunday that you’re not interested in receiving this medication for her. Please let me know if I’m wrong.

Regards,

**********************
Thoughts?

Should I copy the GAL/court file?

Yes, I think it would be a good idea to copy the GAL. I would however not copy the court file at this time.