Procedural Question

[CJane]

What is the name of your state? MO

I went to the court ordered class (COPE) re: parenting/custody/paternity establishment today. Sooo exciting. I found out though, that the baby-daddy has not attended the class yet. The order states that each parent must attend w/in 45 days of (in his case) the filing of the motion or (in my case) being served.

He filed on April 17. Obviously, he's way outside his 45 days. According to the Family Court Services lady, he hasn't even scheduled the class or made any attempt to do so. Is this a big deal? I'm never sure with 'court orders'... I get one in the mail, and I'm all about following it because I'm convinced otherwise I'll end up in jail. The rational part of me knows though, that often, it's a shrug and a 'you should know better'.

I also spoke to his attorney, and agreed to the genetic testing. Figured it's easier that way than waiting for a court order. His attorney said "Now, don't worry, Mr BabyDaddy has been informed that he'll be paying for this." Should I get that in writing, or is it standard anyway? (That's been my beef all along - I figured if he wanted the testing, he should pay for it.)

Apparently, in my county, mediation is always ordered. Mediation is FREE if both parents have attended the COPE class. If the parents have NOT both attended, then it's done on a sliding scale basis. If he does not attend the COPE class, is it reasonable to request that he pay for ALL of the mediation since it would have been free if he'd attended the class?

I've never done mediation before. What is the 'routine'?

Remember that I'm pro se on this one, and he has an attorney.

I bolded my questions if y'all wanna skip the filler.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? MO

I went to the court ordered class (COPE) re: parenting/custody/paternity establishment today. Sooo exciting. I found out though, that the baby-daddy has not attended the class yet. The order states that each parent must attend w/in 45 days of (in his case) the filing of the motion or (in my case) being served.

He filed on April 17. Obviously, he's way outside his 45 days. According to the Family Court Services lady, he hasn't even scheduled the class or made any attempt to do so. Is this a big deal? I'm never sure with 'court orders'... I get one in the mail, and I'm all about following it because I'm convinced otherwise I'll end up in jail. The rational part of me knows though, that often, it's a shrug and a 'you should know better'.

File a show cause for contempt.

I also spoke to his attorney, and agreed to the genetic testing. Figured it's easier that way than waiting for a court order. His attorney said "Now, don't worry, Mr BabyDaddy has been informed that he'll be paying for this." Should I get that in writing, or is it standard anyway? (That's been my beef all along - I figured if he wanted the testing, he should pay for it.)

Call the attorney back and tell him/her that when you receive an agreement signed by babbydaddy stipulating to the payment of all expenses related to paternity testing, you will have such done. and inform the attorney that you will require also babbydaddy's insurance information or to have such cleared by the testing facility before such test so that you are not surprised at the last minute.

Apparently, in my county, mediation is always ordered. Mediation is FREE if both parents have attended the COPE class. If the parents have NOT both attended, then it's done on a sliding scale basis. If he does not attend the COPE class, is it reasonable to request that he pay for ALL of the mediation since it would have been free if he'd attended the class?

Not only reasonable but file a motion praying the court ORDER he pay for it due to his contempt of the standing order.

I've never done mediation before. What is the 'routine'?

Remember that I'm pro se on this one, and he has an attorney.

I bolded my questions if y'all wanna skip the filler.

The two of you sit in a room and go through each issue line for line and either agree or not or agree not to agree.

 

[abstract99]

I lost my parenting certificate and my ex tried to make a big deal about it because I could not provide proof that I attended the meetings. I would think that you could request that dad pay for it all since it is his fault that it costs money. I would get anything in writing from his attorney and set it aside, you may never know when you will need that. Usually the parents have to go to mediation about parenting time before the court will step in. You should usually just get a mediation date but you can also request to have one through the courthouse.

 

[CJane]

File a show cause for contempt.

Thank you.

Call the attorney back and tell him/her that when you receive an agreement signed by babbydaddy stipulating to the payment of all expenses related to paternity testing, you will have such done. and inform the attorney that you will require also babbydaddy's insurance information or to have such cleared by the testing facility before such test so that you are not surprised at the last minute.

I'm expecting a call back from his attorney with a couple of dates for me to choose from to get the testing done. I'll tell him at that time that I expect to receive written verification that babydaddy is footing the entire bill for testing, or proof that he's already paid. He does not have insurance.

Not only reasonable but file a motion praying the court ORDER he pay for it due to his contempt of the standing order.

Does this have to wait until a judgement is reached on the contempt for not attending the class, or can they be filed hand in hand?

 

[CJane]

I would get anything in writing from his attorney and set it aside, you may never know when you will need that.

You would not believe the legal file I have developed over the past couple of years. I used to have a manilla envelope with a couple of paid parking tickets, my horse training contracts, and the occasional notice for jury duty.

I now have an entire drawer in my filing cabinet full of motions and letters between attornies and me and my attornies, and emails between me and the ex (I print out EVERY ONE and keep it in the file as well as in my email account)... it's amazing.

Usually the parents have to go to mediation about parenting time before the court will step in. You should usually just get a mediation date but you can also request to have one through the courthouse.

I requested one today.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Does this have to wait until a judgement is reached on the contempt for not attending the class, or can they be filed hand in hand?

Tell the mediator that unless the babydaddy can show proof of his completing the class as ordered, you see no need for mediation. Then if babydaddy objects and tries to get you to pay for such, file the motion adding the cost of mediation

 

[CJane]

Tell the mediator that unless the babydaddy can show proof of his completing the class as ordered, you see no need for mediation. Then if babydaddy objects and tries to get you to pay for such, file the motion adding the cost of mediation

See, this is why we keep you around. You're far more sly than me.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

See, this is why we keep you around. You're far more sly than me.

I was born in K.C. It's a sly town.

Or did you never hear of the Pendergast Machine ???

 

[CJane]

I was born in K.C. It's a sly town.

Or did you never hear of the Pendergast Machine ???

See, Darlin, I'm thinkin Pendergast was way before my time.

I was born 100 miles west of KC. Apparently none of the sly crosses the river.

 

[seniorjudge]

...

Does this have to wait until a judgement is reached on the contempt for not attending the class, or can they be filed hand in hand?

....

File it together...judicial economy.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

See, Darlin, I'm thinkin Pendergast was way before my time.

I was born 100 miles west of KC. Apparently none of the sly crosses the river.

That's Kansas. The flat-chested half-sister of a GREAT state

 

[CJane]

That's Kansas. The flat-chested half-sister of a GREAT state

Yeah, yeah.

As of this month, I've lived in MO longer than I lived in KS. And still... not a local. The whole state is a clique.

 

[BL]

LDIJ has an answer o/T

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Yeah, yeah.

As of this month, I've lived in MO longer than I lived in KS. And still... not a local. The whole state is a clique.

damn straight woman...and don't you forget it