Proof of Neglect/Unfit

[olikolik]

What is the name of your state?Ohio

Okay, one more question. Sorry so long. I have a daughter, who I have visitation rights on Wed, Thur, Fri one week and the Thur, Fri, Sat, Sun next week. I have had problems with her mother for years. Little things here and there, and we have picked our battles throughout. She has had a lice problem for over two years now. We have called childrens services, and anyone who would listen, but we have been told lice is not a big deal. Even prolonged lice is not considered too much, as they only call her and go to the house to show her how to clean hair. Recently (6 months) her mother has decided she cannot get rid of the lice, and she does not clean her hair anymore. Everytime we get her we have to clean her hair and what not. She has even gone as far as to tell out daughter that she does not have lice, and that we must take it out of our own hair and put it in hers.

Next issue, a few Sundays ago my daughter had a sore in her mouth that she told us about before her Mom picker her up, about 5 muntes before her Mother got ther her sore burst and she got a mouthful of blood. I told her Mother about it and she said she would get her to a dentist asap. It has not happened. This week she told us about problems she is having that are related to urinary track infection. She said she has told her Mom, but she has done nothing. This just happened, and I am going to take her to the doctor.

Questions: Is this neglect? Do I have a leg to stand on in court? If I go to court for these issues will my daughter be brought into the middle, because that is my biggest worry. I am afraid that a court drama will hurt her more then the lice. I have been waiting for her mother to screw up so that I will not be going to court over petty things. I would like custody but am afraid that dragging my child through this is the wrong way.

I also have a court order that states that if my daughter is unable to be watched by her Mom, Stepdad, or Grandmother, that I should be offered the right to watch her before anyone else. She constantly breaks this rule, but I am unsure how to prove it in order to bring about contempt of order charges.

Thank you so much for your time.

 

[tigger2two]

To me yes its neglect. There may be others that don't agree. And DSS may even disagree. If they do then there isn't much that you can do about it.

But as a parent you are supposed to look out for the best intrest of your children. Not taking care of your daughters medical needs is definatly a problem. Here is what i suggest. Take your daughter to the doctor every time she needs to go. Document with the doctor when the symptoms started and what they were. The doctors records will reflect all the information needed to allow DSS to realize if there is in fact neglect on the mothers part or not. Document everything. Even things that seem small document them anyway. Explain to the doctor what is going on with your ex. Don't do this in front of your daughter obviously. But let him know that your ex is ignoring your daughters medical needs. Keep them informed bc DSS ,if they investigate ,will contact your daughters doctors. Good luck

 

[stealth2]

A lot of this is going to depend on timing. You apparently have the child roughly 50% of the time, and therefore have the same opportunity to take her to the doctor. We all know how tough it can sometimes be to get dr's appointments, and the issues you bring up aren't necessarily emergencies (and I'm not sure how a sore in the mouth is a dental issue, to be honest). This could be turned around on you, as well - the child told you about it. What did YOU do besides tell the other parent?

 

[tigger2two]

stealth i didn't even think about the 50 50 deal. The mother could be doing this deliberatly to get the dad to pay for doctor bills?? Its possible. But if you and your ex are getting her 50 50 how is this child not getting rid of the lice. You need to get her school involved. (not sure about your state) But my kids school orders the house to be treated as well as the child and family living with the child, before they can even return to school.

 

[stealth2]

Yep. Most schools will not allow the kid to return until they're lice free.

 

[olikolik]

When my child comes to our house she is checked and treated for lice. Everytime.

We have told her to tell her school, and she did, which resulted in her now being afraid of making her mom mad again by telling.

We belived it to be a dental issue because she just had a retainer put in and we figured she rubbed it wrong, and we would of taken her wherever she needed to go, but her mother came and picker her up within ten minutes of this happening. We offered to take her but she did not want to leave her, and promised to take her.

 

[stealth2]

When my child comes to our house she is checked and treated for lice. Everytime.

We have told her to tell her school, and she did, which resulted in her now being afraid of making her mom mad again by telling.

A: Has it occured for YOU to contact the school instead of making a child responsible?

We belived it to be a dental issue because she just had a retainer put in and we figured she rubbed it wrong, and we would of taken her wherever she needed to go, but her mother came and picker her up within ten minutes of this happening. We offered to take her but she did not want to leave her, and promised to take her.

A: Have you asked your daughter if the sore has healed? Did you call the orthodontist?

 

[ili]

We understand!

Our great-grandson's mother got mad everytime we tried to speak up about
one of the boy's complaints. After seeing her shaking her finger in his face
while walking him to the car we told him we would not reveal things he told
us. It's a real dilemma. Good luck! Have you considered going for full
custody or did I miss that?

 

[olikolik]

We have contacted the school, but have been informer that since we are not cp that they would listen to what we say but cannot reveal any info or talk with us about the problem.

We did take her to the dentist to find out that she had rubbed her gums which caused a pustule which burst. She is fine, thanks for asking.

We would either like to have full custody or at least joint ( which we have been informed that there is no such thing in Ohio) so that we can get a better grip on these problems. We feel we only have one chance and we want to build the best case possible before attempting. We are letting her mother dig herself a hole, but are unsure when it is enough, so we are trying to ask for advice here.

Thanks to you all

 

[LdiJ]

We have contacted the school, but have been informer that since we are not cp that they would listen to what we say but cannot reveal any info or talk with us about the problem.

We did take her to the dentist to find out that she had rubbed her gums which caused a pustule which burst. She is fine, thanks for asking.

We would either like to have full custody or at least joint ( which we have been informed that there is no such thing in Ohio) so that we can get a better grip on these problems. We feel we only have one chance and we want to build the best case possible before attempting. We are letting her mother dig herself a hole, but are unsure when it is enough, so we are trying to ask for advice here.

Thanks to you all

The unresolved lice issue can sometimes be taken seriously enough by a court to make signficant custody changes, but not always. How long has it been going on? It can be sometimes terribly difficult to get rid of lice.

I don't think that the sore in her mouth is particularly usuable. That kind of thing is fairly common with retainers/braces. It happened to me all the time when I had them. Medical treatment was never necessary.