Proposed Adult Ward Being Taken from Country

[SuperTed]

I really hope you can stop your brother's inconsiderate move. I'm wondering if your mother has a dual citizenship the US and the UK or a EU citizenship. Otherwise, I think it's going to take time for your brother to take your mother to the UK permanently. I don't know about the UK visas well, but I'm assuming it is similar to the US ones. Your brother needs to show his financial stability to the UK government he can support her fully. I don't know how he can prove it in unemployed status. If your brother takes her without getting a visa for her, that means she will be a tourist. I don't know if it's actually possible that a tourist, no visa holders can change their status to the permanent residents while staying in the UK. Even if possible, I don't think it's easy.

I really hope it will settle the best way for your mother. I wish all the best.

Me too. Thanks.

Mom does NOT have dual citizenship.

The last time he had to show his financial stability (for a visa) to the UK government was 2012. He had a lot of trouble finding an attorney to take his case, and ultimately did not hire representation. He blamed it on England having no honest attorneys, but my guess is all of them told him he needed to be employed and making a minimum amount of income to qualify for a visa. In the meantime, he asked Mom to lend him $11,000 (which, coincidentally, was the minimum annual income needed to prove financial stability). The catch to this loan was that Mom needed to send the money to his "employer" in Chicago, who would then send the money to England. Presumably, a W2 magically appeared and accompanied this money across The Atlantic Ocean. Mom never thought too much about this at the time, because she was trying to help a son in need. The next year, he got married to a UK citizen he met two months earlier, so his citizenship was no longer in doubt.

Thank you. That's where all of this was heading before son #1 decided to put himself in charge of Mom's affairs.

 

[PAPP]

Even your brother has dual citizenship, it seems it is not very easy and quick to bring a family to the UK. A friend of mine who is a UK citizen went through the process to apply for her husband's permanent residency in the UK. They were living in the US and decided to move to the UK. To establish her financial stability in the UK, she went back to the UK by herself to get a job there and waited for over a half a year to show her financial ability. Also, to be safe, she asked her parents to co-guarantee the financial stability by her lawyer's instruction. She said it's getting stricter about the financial stability proof.

I, too, suspect your brother's real intention is the money grab as you mentioned. My guess is he is just pretending taking her to the UK to get all she has.

Changing her living environment is the last thing your mother needs. I really hope your brother doesn't rush to do anything to affect your mother negatively. I hope it will end well for your mother. Good luck!

 

[SuperTed]

I'm happy to hear it's getting harder to become a citizen in the UK. I am hoping that will be the last and strongest line of defense we have.

One of the most infuriating parts of the story is the team we had assembled to help Mom. Our attorney said, "She could not have hoped for a better team." To summarize, here are the primary people who have thrown their support behind our efforts that began in earnest in 2016:
- son #3 (me) - closest to Mom for entire adulthood - 22 years of experience in elder services
- son #4 - also very close to Mom for entire adulthood - willing to support sensible course of action
- son #2 - relationship strained/broken for several years - recently expressed desire to help Mom
- fiancee of son #3 - Dementia Care Specialist of in our county
- wife of son #4 - Medical Doctor - extensive experience with elder issues
- husband and wife - friends - have known Mom over 40 years - supportive of our course of action
- friend - attorney - has known Mom over 30 years
- local bank manager - has known Mom over 20 years - supportive of our course action, and has taken steps in her bank to protect Mom
- Medical Doctor #1 - was Mom’s primary care physician until Mom fired her
- Medical Doctor #2 - evaluated Mom in 2018, providing a diagnosis of moderate dementia
- police officer - neighbor - has known Mom over 10 years - willing to keep an eye on Mom - supports our course of action
- neighbor - has known Mom over 40 years - supports our course of action
- County APS Social Worker - worked closely with us throughout the process, and has been helpful in guiding our way
- Several other contacts in Mom’s world have expressed concern and offered support

On the "other side" is:
- son #1 - never close to Mom - unemployed - cannot even say the word dementia out loud, refuses to learn anything about it
- neighbor - retired attorney - know by APS to "take on pet projects" and "doesn't know nearly as much as she thinks she does"
- attorney - questioned Mom's competency in December, 2018 when he drafted her new legal documents - contacted APS himself in January, 2019 because he was concerned for her well being

Yes, this rabbit hole has no end...

Sadly, at the center of all of this a very confused, very scared person who needs people around her who will take care of her. Not to be melodramatic, but that was always supposed to be my job, and I am even more committed now to it than I have ever been.

Thank you for the encouraging and kind words.