Proving verbal abuse with recording in 2 party consent state

[needalotofhlep6]

What is the name of your state? Maryland
Maryland requires all parties to consent. My spouse is extremely verbally abusive but never physically abusive. I have been called fat, cheater, golddigger, etc. My spouse stops short of physical abuse and only verbalizes the abuse. My spouse said no one will believe me if I bring it up because it's illegal to record. Everytime I try to talk the problem out and my spouse is confronted, my spouse furiously denies it. My legal advisor from my work told me that I have write notes or on a google doc about everything that happens. He also told me that I can record most likely without getting in trouble because he has to prove damages from my recording from something to happen to me. My other ideas include having my friends on a google hangout with me and listening to his conversations and jotting down notes for additional proof. Another idea is to say I have a recording device on me and I tell my spouse that my spouse automatically consents to recording by talking to me. That way, I can scare my souse into never saying anything disrespectful to me.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

What exactly are you wanting to do with the recordings should you get them?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Maryland
Maryland requires all parties to consent. My spouse is extremely verbally abusive but never physically abusive. I have been called fat, cheater, golddigger, etc. My spouse stops short of physical abuse and only verbalizes the abuse. My spouse said no one will believe me if I bring it up because it's illegal to record. Everytime I try to talk the problem out and my spouse is confronted, my spouse furiously denies it. My legal advisor from my work told me that I have write notes or on a google doc about everything that happens. He also told me that I can record most likely without getting in trouble because he has to prove damages from my recording from something to happen to me. My other ideas include having my friends on a google hangout with me and listening to his conversations and jotting down notes for additional proof. Another idea is to say I have a recording device on me and I tell my spouse that my spouse automatically consents to recording by talking to me. That way, I can scare my souse into never saying anything disrespectful to me.

It is not possible to scare an abuser into being respectful. It doesn't matter if the abuser is physically or verbally abusive you cannot scare them into being respectful. At most, you might get a few months of good behavior out of a scare, but that won't change years of behavior.

Its time to get a divorce.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Maryland
Maryland requires all parties to consent. My spouse is extremely verbally abusive but never physically abusive. I have been called fat, cheater, golddigger, etc. My spouse stops short of physical abuse and only verbalizes the abuse. My spouse said no one will believe me if I bring it up because it's illegal to record. Everytime I try to talk the problem out and my spouse is confronted, my spouse furiously denies it. My legal advisor from my work told me that I have write notes or on a google doc about everything that happens. He also told me that I can record most likely without getting in trouble because he has to prove damages from my recording from something to happen to me. My other ideas include having my friends on a google hangout with me and listening to his conversations and jotting down notes for additional proof. Another idea is to say I have a recording device on me and I tell my spouse that my spouse automatically consents to recording by talking to me. That way, I can scare my souse into never saying anything disrespectful to me.

Honestly...Just file for Divorce.

 

[stealth2]

What is your goal?

 

[adjusterjack]

Honestly...Just file for Divorce.

Agree. One can get a divorce in every state just for the asking. One would have to be a fool to stay in even a verbally abusive relationship.

 

[cbg]

Just because your spouse SAYS no one will believe you without recordings doesn't mean that no one will believe you without recordings. Getting their victim to believe that no one will believe them is one of the ways abusers control their victims.

 

[needalotofhlep6]

Bring evidence of abuse to court.

 

[needalotofhlep6]

Just because your spouse SAYS no one will believe you without recordings doesn't mean that no one will believe you without recordings. Getting their victim to believe that no one will believe them is one of the ways abusers control their victims.

How could they rule on a he said she said without solid evidence?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Bring evidence of abuse to court.

I'm going to assume that was the answer to the question I asked. If to use it as evidence is your goal then you are out of luck. You can't use evidence that is illegally obtained.

And you don't need evidence to get a divorce in Maryland. It is a no-fault state.

 

[justalayman]

My legal advisor from my work told me that I have write notes or on a google doc about everything that happens. He also told me that I can record most likely without getting in trouble because he has to prove damages from my recording from something to happen to me. .

Well, your legal advisor might want to brush up on this topic before tossing you to the wolves.


https://www.rcfp.org/rcfp/orders/docs/CANWETAPE.pdf

Disclosing the contents of intercepted communications with reason to know they were obtained unlawfully is a crime as well.
Violations of the law are felonies punishable by imprisonment for not more than five years and a fine of not more than $10,000. Civil liability for violations can include the greater of actual damages, $100 a day for each day of violation or $1,000, along with punitive damages, attorney fees and litigation costs. To recover civil damages, however, a plaintiff must prove that the defendant knew it was illegal to tape the communication without consent from all participants. md. Code ann., CTs. & Jud. proC. § 10-410.

It would appear him proving, or even having damages is not a requirement to get your butt tossed in jail

Nor does it appear to be a requirement for him to show actual damages as the law allows for statutory damages in lieu of actual damages, as well as punitive damages, attieney’s fees, and court costs.

 

[TigerD]

Agree. One can get a divorce in every state just for the asking. One would have to be a fool to stay in even a verbally abusive relationship.

I disagree. There are fees to be paid.

TD

 

[needalotofhlep6]

Alternative plan is to get my friends on skype and let them listen on to the abuse and document it which equals more evidence. Of course if I do this, I have to let them eavesdrop without letting my spouse know they're listening in.

Another plan is to trick my spouse into agreeing. I could say become paranoid about mice sounds in my room and say I need to record my room 24/7 for the mice(which don't exist). When my spouse agrees and forgets about agreeing, then when abusive words are shouted, I can record. If it comes to court, I can say my spouse agreed to recording a while ago but forgot which is quite frankly my spouse' fault.

 

[justalayman]

How about you either run away from that marriage as quickly as you can or admit you’re a masochist and get some weird enjoyment from the abuse?

He won’t change

 

[LdiJ]

Alternative plan is to get my friends on skype and let them listen on to the abuse and document it which equals more evidence. Of course if I do this, I have to let them eavesdrop without letting my spouse know they're listening in.

Another plan is to trick my spouse into agreeing. I could say become paranoid about mice sounds in my room and say I need to record my room 24/7 for the mice(which don't exist). When my spouse agrees and forgets about agreeing, then when abusive words are shouted, I can record. If it comes to court, I can say my spouse agreed to recording a while ago but forgot which is quite frankly my spouse' fault.

Again, you do not need to prove that he is abusive to get a divorce. Maryland is a no fault state.