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Pthalo

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Whyte Noise

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Missouri

Good morning little snuggie wuggie. What's that? You were hoping for breakfast in bed?? Well then, you should have slept in the kitchen. *hands you your morning cup of coffee* Sleep well? Have any interesting dreams you'd like to share? No? Aw, come on, it's just between us Forum addicts. We wont tell. Here, let us cook you something to eat. Eggs, bacon and toast? Oh well, all we have is Pop Tarts. The grape ones. In the white box with the black writing. Sorry, but we gotta conserve money here. And besides, you can eat Pop Tarts in front of the computer while you read your morning threads and not have to worry about making a mess on the keyboard. Careful, that coffee is hot. Grace and I were up all night making it. It might be able to walk on it's own, but hey, it's the thought that counts, right? We hate for our fellow addicts to deprive themselves of food, just to post, so we took care of the Forum during the night, and decided to make breakfast for everyone. What? You wanted gourmet coffee? Don't like the Pop Tarts? Well then, perhaps you'll want to stop off at Starbucks on your way to work, and take MORE time away from the Forum. That's kind of ungrateful after we stayed up all night planning this wonderful tasty breakfast. But, if you DO stop at Starbucks, make sure that you pick up enough for EVERYONE. And make it all DECAF. Well, except for Grace and I.... we'll just take ours straight from the bag... in spoons... We WERE up all night ya know. We thought we'd be nice since you were always the first to post on here every morning. Make you breakfast and coffee, so that you wouldn't have to waste posting time with those menial tasks. We would have given you the morning paper too, but figured that since you would head straight for the computer anyways, you'd find out the news of the day soon enough. Well, that.... and the neighbors dog peed on the morning edition. (The coffee wasn't the only thing dripping early this morning.) If you really want the paper tho, just unclip it off of the clothesline on your way to the car. It should be dry now. If not, we'll just put it away for when you come home this evening. Yes, we know it'll be old news then, but hey, you were wanting shelf paper, right? Oh, BTW... pay no attention to the funny smell in the car. You left the windows down, and the neighbors tom cat climbed in. We shooed him out when we hung up the paper to dry though. But, I think we scared the crap out of him... litterally. (And yes, I spelled literally that way on purpose.) Pay no attention to the toilet paper all over the yard and house. We'll clean that up later. Do you have an extra empty roll? Don't wanna waste it. The Forum Addicts are on a tight budget, remember. Don't worry about the plants, we'll water them while you are gone. We know how much time the Forum takes up for you. How much water do you give them? One cup? Two? Do you want us to water the dead ones too? *looks around* Oh... they're all dead. Uhm... OK. We can try to fix that. There HAS to be a website somewhere that deals with plant resuscitation... And we'll take care of the bugs and the mouse in the computer too. We can call the exterminator as soon as they open. We know how important it is to keep the computer in top running order for you to check the Forum. Where do we put the oil and water in? Should we check the rear differential and the belts too? Why, pthalo... you're choking on your coffee! If it's not good, you don't have to SPIT it out ya know. That's just rude!! Here, take your briefcase, and go and deal with the idiots that call for tech support, dear. Don't worry about a thing. Grace and I have it all under control here. Go and talk about your megabytes, and hard drives, and floppy's. *shoves pthalo out the door and closes it* GRAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!! Bring me muh ball peen hammer and that 'lectric drill!! We got a 'puter to overhaul gal!!! *wicked evil laughter*
 


Grace_Adler

Senior Member
*tiptoes in and peeks around corner dressed in overalls, work boots, goggles, gloves, and tool belt holding 'lectric drill and ball peen hammer* *whispers* Is the coast clear? I found some more tools out in the shed.. do you think this anvil and sledgehammer will come in handy?
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
Re: ROTHLMAOSMOMNWACIMS

pthalo said:
OMG... and I thought my Daily Dilbert was funny this morning... Wow that was great...
ROTHLMAOSMOMNWACIMS

WTH is THAT?????? I told you...... DECAF!!!!!! :eek: :rolleyes:
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
That's what I'm talking about!!! And I hope to God you have some coffee grounds for us because Lord knows we need them!!
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
Milk?!?!?! We slave over a hot coffee pot and you get MILK?!?!?! Oh, we see. You wanna have the cow, and milk it too, eh?? Well, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO baby..... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *rolls up sleeves* Grace..... bring me the 20 pound sledge.....
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
Great.. if I would have known that I would have gone to bed! That's the last time we try to be nice! *turns around and heads toward shed* *returns dragging 20 lb sledge..*
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
*looking up at imaginary butterflies* Something you should know..... *scuffs toes in dirt* Uhmmmmmmm..... Nooo..... nothing at all..... *takes sledge from Grace and hides it behind my back* Uhmmmmmm.... well.... there might be ONE little teensy weensy thing. You ever seen Gallagher? Hope you have bubble wrap.....:p :D
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
*drags sledge over to computer (ala Igor), puffs out chest, prepares to pick up sledge....* where's the milk? *looks around* Where's pthalo? *snickers* Little chicken. *swings arms back, knocks over hidden glass of milk, all over pthalo's keyboard* Ut oh.... *notices puddle of milk spreading.... runs ouside, grabs neighbors tomcat, runs back in, puts him on the desk* There, he'll never know. *grins smugly, then sees sparks, hears "zzzzzzzzzzzzzap" sees the cat's fur puff out about 5 inches as the static electricity effect kicks in, watches cat freeze, (hopes it's just scared) yells to Grace.... "Get me the Static Guard outta the laundry room! QUICK!"
 

kidoday

Senior Member
Good Bye my addicts - The server here at work will be down ALL day.

Think of me during your visits today, and hope I will return this evening.
:(
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
Oh great!! Hope this cat isn't on it's 9th life. *Runs like a mad woman searching frantically for Static Gaurd in messy laundry room. Catches a wiff of old, dirty clothes in laundry basket* EEEWW.. this smells like it has been sitting here for a year! * Looks around messy room.. clothes and odds and ends strown everywhere. Almost passes out from the smell but manages to spot the Static Gaurd and grab it. Begins to stumble out of laundry room but spots a box of Downy Dryer sheets and decides to grab that too. Runs back and hands them to MissouriGal*

*waves bye to kidoday* We'll miss you kidoday!
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
*waves to kidoday too* Hurry back!!!!

*grabs stiff, frizzy kitty, Static Guard, and dryer sheets. Runs to laundry room* Geeeeeezzz... what crawled up in here and died? *moves pthalo's clothes outta the way, sprays cat with Static Guard, hopes pthalo has a shirt that will fit me cause this one's shredded now, tosses cat in dryer, adds 2 dryer sheets, just to be sure and yells to Grace...* "What setting? Cool down? Fluff?" Sees pthalo in his boxers and gets blinded! Oh My! That just oughta be against the Law!! And, I think it is in most southern states.... Get some sun or something. People on I-95 are being blinded! *Innocent look* Clean up what??? *hears dryer buzzer go off, goes to check on the cat. Opens dryer door and watches Fluffy (if that weren't his name before, it is now) run out the back door.*
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
Yeah hurry back kidoday we need some help around here!

Sure pthalo, I can clean that up.... if I can use you for a broom and mop! And for God sakes put some clothes on! *Yells to MissouriGal* Fluff! *Hears buzzer go off and sees cat* Oh nevermind.. I see you had it on fluff already. *scratches head, bewildered*
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
Clean? I've seen your laundry room LoL Clean... yeah, like cats are clean, right? No, cats arent clean, they're just covered with cat spit! :D

Snorting? Another hairball? *gets out Vaseline* Here, rub some of this on your hand and lick it off. It'll clear that right up. It's what I use after I bathe my cat! :p

Stay here all day??? Are you nuts? We've been here all night. It's YOUR shift now. We're going home, snuggling down into the comforter, and going night night. You have to hold down the fort. And that Vaseline....
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
*Sings Kid Rock* ARE YA SCARED?

And pthalo..... while you're down there on yer knees dear..... scrub the floor, it's such a mess. :D

Guest room? We looked in there. Thought that was the garage.

(I will admit tho, it's nice to see a man on his knees beggin'. Keep it up, we might come back) ;)



And please, no guy should get offended. This thread was brought to you by the FFCA. Any resemblance to anyone is purely coinky dink, as all this was made up as we went along. We will now return you to the regularly scheduled Forum, and hope that this thread doesn't get deleted, 'cause we really had a blast doing it. (Waits for the Wrath of IAAL)
 

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