Putting Stop To Ex Harrassment

[Jessleeeliz]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Maryland

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to handle an ex who won't stop calling and harrassing? I can't block the calls when she has the children in the event of an emergency.

My boyfriend is divorced and has won sole legal custody and joint physical custody. I live with him and share in the responsibilites of helping him raise his children. The problem that remains is that the ex continues to be a problem in respect to "drama". She makes up reasons to call both when she has the children and when she does not. She drives by the house with the children and without the children even though the house is NOT on her way to anything. Recently she has taken to aiming her phone calls at me (the girlfriend) and wanting to sit down and talk to me so I can hear her side of things and so she can tell me the "truth" about my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years. I am used to the ex being crazy but my question is how can I handle this LEGALLY as to putting a stop to her harrassment without blocking the children if they need to call when with her?

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Maryland

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to handle an ex who won't stop calling and harrassing? I can't block the calls when she has the children in the event of an emergency.

My boyfriend is divorced and has won sole legal custody and joint physical custody. I live with him and share in the responsibilites of helping him raise his children. The problem that remains is that the ex continues to be a problem in respect to "drama". She makes up reasons to call both when she has the children and when she does not. She drives by the house with the children and without the children even though the house is NOT on her way to anything. Recently she has taken to aiming her phone calls at me (the girlfriend) and wanting to sit down and talk to me so I can hear her side of things and so she can tell me the "truth" about my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years. I am used to the ex being crazy but my question is how can I handle this LEGALLY as to putting a stop to her harrassment without blocking the children if they need to call when with her?

Unfortunately, none of what you describe is LEGALLY considered to be harrassment, so there isn't anything you can do from a legal standpoint.

The best advice I can give is for you to talk to your BF about it. When his ex DOESN'T have the children, there isn't any reason why YOU should have to answer the phone when the ex calls. Have your BF take the call, or let ex leave message on machine.

When she calls and you HAVE to talk to her, keep the subject to ONLY the kids, DO NOT let her drag you into a conversation about her and your BF's past. You can repeatedly tell her that those subjects are a matter for her and your BF to discuss, and therefore you won't even listen. Hang up on her if you have to.

I know that it's hard to put up with a crazy ex, but just remember, the kids
and keeping them out of the maddle as much as possible is the most important thing.

Good luck
Gracie

 

[Jessleeeliz]

mandatory med evaluation?

Gracie [/QUOTE]


Good quote Gracie - Actually what I was referring to was the msgs she leaves on the answering machine. For example, she called 4 x's today about how she is a victim and how much she hates me but how much she needs to talk to me about my bfriend and how much she wants to help me and protect me from getting hurt. Sometimes, I really think she needs a medical evaluation. How could my bfriend go about having a judge order her to take one? Any ideas?

 

[Gracie3787]

Gracie

Good quote Gracie - Actually what I was referring to was the msgs she leaves on the answering machine. For example, she called 4 x's today about how she is a victim and how much she hates me but how much she needs to talk to me about my bfriend and how much she wants to help me and protect me from getting hurt. Sometimes, I really think she needs a medical evaluation. How could my bfriend go about having a judge order her to take one? Any ideas?[/QUOTE]


It would be a good idea to keep the messages that she leaves, but until she makes any kind of threat to harm you or your BF, the law won't help. So, the only thing that you can do is to put up with her, and let her rantings go in one ear and out the other.

The ex may need an evaluation, however, it is extremely hard to force a person to get an eval. Has she ever talked about suicide, harming someone, harming herself, etc. If she has, AND your BF could prove it in court, he might be able to petition the court to modify visitation, but again, it's very iffy if the court would order it. Basically, he would have to prove that she is a danger to the children or herself before a court will do anything. Sorry.

"this too shall pass" and the Serenity Prayer are what keep me going when my depression gets real bad, that's why I use that quote as my signature.