Question About Counsel

[Acub1423]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TN Court Case (I reside in NC, my son resides in TN with his mother).

Late September, his mother and I had court to set custody/visitation in regards to our son. The judge continued it over to November 5th and noted that my son's mother was to get counsel by that day. Since that day, there has not been any contact about her obtaining a lawyer. My first question would be is there a way to find out if she has a lawyer (besides simply asking her because everything is not my business in her point of view)? I have asked the clerk of court and there has been nothing filed on her behalf. My second question would be what happens if she shows up in court without a lawyer?

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TN Court Case (I reside in NC, my son resides in TN with his mother).

Late September, his mother and I had court to set custody/visitation in regards to our son. The judge continued it over to November 5th and noted that my son's mother was to get counsel by that day. Since that day, there has not been any contact about her obtaining a lawyer. My first question would be is there a way to find out if she has a lawyer (besides simply asking her because everything is not my business in her point of view)? I have asked the clerk of court and there has been nothing filed on her behalf. My second question would be what happens if she shows up in court without a lawyer?

okay, first question. did mom request the continuance for the purpose of getting counsel? or was mom ordered to obtain counsel?

what is the hearing for? who initiated it?

 

[Acub1423]

okay, first question. did mom request the continuance for the purpose of getting counsel? or was mom ordered to obtain counsel?

what is the hearing for? who initiated it?

Mom's Step Father answered for her when the docket was called, claimed to be Mom's power of attorney. Then Mom and her StepFather said they wanted a Guardian Ad Litem (because Mom was too "simple minded" to understand what was going on *exact phrase from StepFather*). When the judge called us up to address the situation, Mom asked for time to obtain a lawyer. Judge asked her if she would have one by the November court date. Mom and her StepFather said yes.

The hearing is to set up a visitation/custody order. This was the first court date. I (Dad) initiated it.

 

[CJane]

Well, then Mom needs to have counsel by that court date. An attorney can appear WITH HER in court and "enter an appearance" at that time.

What's wrong with Mom that makes her "simple minded"?

 

[Acub1423]

Well, then Mom needs to have counsel by that court date. An attorney can appear WITH HER in court and "enter an appearance" at that time.

What's wrong with Mom that makes her "simple minded"?

That would have to be answered by her Step Father. She does have a learning disability as well is unable to read. In my experience, Mom has always had decisions made for her or has been persuaded easily.

 

[CJane]

That would have to be answered by her Step Father. She does have a learning disability as well is unable to read. In my experience, Mom has always had decisions made for her or has been persuaded easily.

Including when you had sex with her and created a child?

 

[Acub1423]

Including when you had sex with her and created a child?

Mom has always been capable of making decisions in regards to who she was intimate with. Mom and I were living together when she got pregnant. We lived together for more than a year after our son was born. That was when it became more obvious what she was capable and incapable of. I would have never persuaded someone to have sex with me, I am quite the opposite.

 

[LdiJ]

That would have to be answered by her Step Father. She does have a learning disability as well is unable to read. In my experience, Mom has always had decisions made for her or has been persuaded easily.

An inability to read is definitely a disability in terms of court. "Simple minded" was probably a poor choice of words on stepdad's part, but an inability to read means that she could not be given due process in court/legal matters without assistance from someone who CAN read.

It would not surprise me if the judge continued it again if they show up in court with a valid reason why she does not yet have an attorney. (assuming that happens)

 

[CJane]

Mom has always been capable of making decisions in regards to who she was intimate with. Mom and I were living together when she got pregnant. We lived together for more than a year after our son was born. That was when it became more obvious what she was capable and incapable of. I would have never persuaded someone to have sex with me, I am quite the opposite.

Well, then you probably should watch what you say in court/to your attorney.

Because what you SAID in the post that I quoted is that she's "ALWAYS had decisions made for her, or been persuaded easily".

And what you're saying NOW is that she can make decisions about sex/pregnancy/etc.

Do you see how the two don't exactly make sense together?

What's your hope with your lawsuit? Full custody? Visitation?

 

[Acub1423]

Well, then you probably should watch what you say in court/to your attorney.

Because what you SAID in the post that I quoted is that she's "ALWAYS had decisions made for her, or been persuaded easily".

And what you're saying NOW is that she can make decisions about sex/pregnancy/etc.

Do you see how the two don't exactly make sense together?

What's your hope with your lawsuit? Full custody? Visitation?

Thank you CJane for pointing that out to me. I will be more cautious with how I say things. Overall I do not think she is capable of raising him on her own since her mom and stepfather have him the majority of the time. As of now, I want visitation with our son. In the future, I may go for full custody if I feel it is our son's best interest to be with a parent over his grandparents. I doubt his mom well abide by a custody order, but we will see how it goes once it is in place. As of today when I tried speaking to our son, her mom (child's grandma) said no. I asked mom if she has obtained counsel. She told me it was none of my business.

 

[Isis1]

Thank you CJane for pointing that out to me. I will be more cautious with how I say things. Overall I do not think she is capable of raising him on her own since her mom and stepfather have him the majority of the time. As of now, I want visitation with our son. In the future, I may go for full custody if I feel it is our son's best interest to be with a parent over his grandparents. I doubt his mom well abide by a custody order, but we will see how it goes once it is in place. As of today when I tried speaking to our son, her mom (child's grandma) said no. I asked mom if she has obtained counsel. She told me it was none of my business.

technically, it's not any of your business until you are served with a substitution of attorney. which can happen the day you walk into court.

 

[Acub1423]

technically, it's not any of your business until you are served with a substitution of attorney. which can happen the day you walk into court.

Does this go both ways? Meaning I do not have to notify her if I have a lawyer till the day of.

 

[CJane]

Does this go both ways? Meaning I do not have to notify her if I have a lawyer till the day of.

Of course. You two are no longer together, which means that other than things that directly impact the health and well-being of the child you share, nothing y'all do is the other person's business.

 

[Acub1423]

I would like to say thank you to everyone who has had an input and answers. Sorry I have not said it before. I will update you all after court happens Nov 5th.