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Question About Custodial Parent Moving

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bitterdelight

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana to Florida

I have a family member who is 21 with 2 children. She is single and the fathers of the 2 children are brothers (that's a whole other story). She has just gotten out of the worst year of her life. She lost her brother who was her world, in her anguish she broke up with her daughter's father, and got hooked up with his brother and got pregnant again. She has no legal agreement with the 2nd child's father, but has a visitation and child support arrangement with the 1st child's father. The arrangement is for only $30 per week, which to me seems rediculous and she is the custodial parent. She also got into some trouble with the law and has a felony on her record. Her situation since she has gotten out of jail is a mess. She has a crappy job that won't allow her to get her own place, she lives with her mother's ex husband with both of the children and there's really no room for the children. She has no formal training in anything and her life is just a mess. I have the means to help her in a big way here in Florida. Here she has a father, myself, and 2 older sisters who are willing to be a huge support system for her while she gets her education. I already have employment, a place to live where the children and she will have her own bedroom and a car here for her. She is willing to come here and see if she can improve her life, but she is unsure of how to go about leaving without getting in trouble based on the current situation with the 1st father. He just remarried and had another child, has no job, and probably won't have the means to put up a huge fight, but with her current situation, he is still better off than her because his wife provides a home for him and he has stated he wants custody of the child. How can she legally leave to improve her life for her and her children to a place where she has employment, a home, a car, and opportunity she will never have in Indiana where she has nothing.

We are desperate to help this girl, but she's terrified of losing her children.

All advise is welcome. I know nothing of Indiana law. I can help her get an atty here, but she doesn't want to leave without knowing her rights to do so as a custodial parent. She cannot afford an atty there or has no clue who to turn to to ask the appropriate questions.
 


Isis1

Senior Member
if mom moves, she risks losing custody. nothing you have stated makes the father unfit. the primary goal is to keep the children with both parents. if one parent wants to move, then the child/ren stay/s.
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana to Florida

I have a family member who is 21 with 2 children. She is single and the fathers of the 2 children are brothers (that's a whole other story). She has just gotten out of the worst year of her life. She lost her brother who was her world, in her anguish she broke up with her daughter's father, and got hooked up with his brother and got pregnant again. She has no legal agreement with the 2nd child's father, but has a visitation and child support arrangement with the 1st child's father. The arrangement is for only $30 per week, which to me seems rediculous and she is the custodial parent. She also got into some trouble with the law and has a felony on her record. Her situation since she has gotten out of jail is a mess. She has a crappy job that won't allow her to get her own place, she lives with her mother's ex husband with both of the children and there's really no room for the children. She has no formal training in anything and her life is just a mess. I have the means to help her in a big way here in Florida. Here she has a father, myself, and 2 older sisters who are willing to be a huge support system for her while she gets her education. I already have employment, a place to live where the children and she will have her own bedroom and a car here for her. She is willing to come here and see if she can improve her life, but she is unsure of how to go about leaving without getting in trouble based on the current situation with the 1st father. He just remarried and had another child, has no job, and probably won't have the means to put up a huge fight, but with her current situation, he is still better off than her because his wife provides a home for him and he has stated he wants custody of the child. How can she legally leave to improve her life for her and her children to a place where she has employment, a home, a car, and opportunity she will never have in Indiana where she has nothing.

We are desperate to help this girl, but she's terrified of losing her children.

All advise is welcome. I know nothing of Indiana law. I can help her get an atty here, but she doesn't want to leave without knowing her rights to do so as a custodial parent. She cannot afford an atty there or has no clue who to turn to to ask the appropriate questions.
What does her custody agreement say about relocation?

Will the fathers/brothers object?
 

bitterdelight

Junior Member
What does her custody agreement say about relocation?

Will the fathers/brothers object?
The 1st father would object because he is being very hateful. Earlier this year he was beginning to see her again and talking about moving down here with her. Then he got back with the girl he had pregnant, married her, and now the baby is here and he is being very unreasonably mean to my family member. He won't see her to exchange the child. he has his sister or brother drop off and pick up for him. We assume this is because the new wife's insecurity because he was seeing my family member again during thier brief breakup. he does not pay his $30 per week child support and has got a contempt court date scheduled. does it never happen that a custodial parent has opportunity elsewhere and needs to move? Is there not something that can be filed allowing her to plead her case to a judge?

Is it really that cut and dry that if she leaves, the kids must stay. It's not like that in FL. My attorney was willing to help me with a similar situation when I was considering moving to another state. He said it was best if my son's father agreed in writing to keep it out of court, but he also stated that the judge wouldn't keep me from moving. I could however be held in contempt for just leaving without handling it appropriately.

As far as I know HER support and visitation order states nothing about leaving the state with the child.

What if she wanted to come down here on an extended vacation to spend some time with us and weigh her options? how does vacations and extended vacations work if she plans on coming back after a couple of months? Any advice helps.

Thanks,
 

bitterdelight

Junior Member
What does her custody agreement say about relocation?

Will the fathers/brothers object?
The sencond father doesn't have the authority to object as they were not married and have not established legal paternity. He is a deadbeat drugged out idiot anyway and probably wouldn't say a word.....
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
The 1st father would object because he is being very hateful. Earlier this year he was beginning to see her again and talking about moving down here with her. Then he got back with the girl he had pregnant, married her, and now the baby is here and he is being very unreasonably mean to my family member. He won't see her to exchange the child. he has his sister or brother drop off and pick up for him. We assume this is because the new wife's insecurity because he was seeing my family member again during thier brief breakup. he does not pay his $30 per week child support and has got a contempt court date scheduled. does it never happen that a custodial parent has opportunity elsewhere and needs to move? Is there not something that can be filed allowing her to plead her case to a judge?

Is it really that cut and dry that if she leaves, the kids must stay. It's not like that in FL. My attorney was willing to help me with a similar situation when I was considering moving to another state. He said it was best if my son's father agreed in writing to keep it out of court, but he also stated that the judge wouldn't keep me from moving. I could however be held in contempt for just leaving without handling it appropriately.

As far as I know HER support and visitation order states nothing about leaving the state with the child.

What if she wanted to come down here on an extended vacation to spend some time with us and weigh her options? how does vacations and extended vacations work if she plans on coming back after a couple of months? Any advice helps.

Thanks,
Its hard to understand who you are talking about in your post with all the pronouns.

And you didn't answer the question.

What does the custody order say? That she can move if she notifies him? That she cannot move? What?

And will the fathers/brothers take it to court? Its not hateful, its following the legal procedures. He wants to be with his child. That's a good thing.

Why don't you send her here to ask her own questions?
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
The sencond father doesn't have the authority to object as they were not married and have not established legal paternity. He is a deadbeat drugged out idiot anyway and probably wouldn't say a word.....
She slept with him. And that's the father of her child. So I wouldn't be talking bad about HIM.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
The sencond father doesn't have the authority to object as they were not married and have not established legal paternity. He is a deadbeat drugged out idiot anyway and probably wouldn't say a word.....
You are out of line. As you are disrespectful to the FATHER -- who by the way does have the right to object at the same time as establishing paternity -- and you are a third party send your family member here.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana to Florida

I have a family member who is 21 with 2 children. She is single and the fathers of the 2 children are brothers (that's a whole other story). She has just gotten out of the worst year of her life. She lost her brother who was her world, in her anguish she broke up with her daughter's father, and got hooked up with his brother and got pregnant again. She has no legal agreement with the 2nd child's father, but has a visitation and child support arrangement with the 1st child's father. The arrangement is for only $30 per week, which to me seems rediculous and she is the custodial parent. She also got into some trouble with the law and has a felony on her record. Her situation since she has gotten out of jail is a mess. She has a crappy job that won't allow her to get her own place, she lives with her mother's ex husband with both of the children and there's really no room for the children. She has no formal training in anything and her life is just a mess. I have the means to help her in a big way here in Florida. Here she has a father, myself, and 2 older sisters who are willing to be a huge support system for her while she gets her education. I already have employment, a place to live where the children and she will have her own bedroom and a car here for her. She is willing to come here and see if she can improve her life, but she is unsure of how to go about leaving without getting in trouble based on the current situation with the 1st father. He just remarried and had another child, has no job, and probably won't have the means to put up a huge fight, but with her current situation, he is still better off than her because his wife provides a home for him and he has stated he wants custody of the child. How can she legally leave to improve her life for her and her children to a place where she has employment, a home, a car, and opportunity she will never have in Indiana where she has nothing.

We are desperate to help this girl, but she's terrified of losing her children.

All advise is welcome. I know nothing of Indiana law. I can help her get an atty here, but she doesn't want to leave without knowing her rights to do so as a custodial parent. She cannot afford an atty there or has no clue who to turn to to ask the appropriate questions.
Indiana law requires her to give 90 days notice of an intent to move to the father. He has 60 days to file a motion to stop her relocation. If he does not do so, she can relocate. If he does, then its up to the judge to decide whether or not she can relocate.
 

bitterdelight

Junior Member
Geez. I'm just trying to help a family member out who can barely make ends meet let alone can afford internet or a computer.

Simple....

The custody/visitation/child support order she currently has with the 1st father says nothing what so ever about leaving the state.

The second child is not in questions as the father doesn't give a **** either way.

There are 2 questions here...

1. What does she have to do if she would like to come to FL on an extended vacation to spend some time and accept help from her very large family residing here?

2. If she wanted to persue opportunity elsewhere (FL) where she has a job, a car, a support system, and an ability to better provide for her children, what does she have to do in IN before she leaves? or can she handle that from FL once she gets here?

It's not necessary to be rude. I'm acting out of love and concern for a family member who I feel has no opportunity or family and support where she is. Excuse me for not having anything nice to say about a father who loves his pipe more than his child and not being concerned with whether or not he will object to her leaving. He has no rights because he's chosen not to. He has stated to me on the phone that he does not care. As for the 1st father, he is not a bad person, just has not displayed any real responsibility in caring for his child, however would object to her being taken out of the state.

I hope this was more clear for those grammar ****'s out there....lol

And thank you in advance for your advice in regards to questions 1. and 2. above.
 

bitterdelight

Junior Member
Indiana law requires her to give 90 days notice of an intent to move to the father. He has 60 days to file a motion to stop her relocation. If he does not do so, she can relocate. If he does, then its up to the judge to decide whether or not she can relocate.
Thank you very much. This is exactly what I was looking for in a round about way. Do you have any information about whether she is allowed to take the child out of state for an extended vacation to visit her family. Can this vacation be taken while she is waiting for his reply if she intends on coming back? She knows she must be back because she has a court date. Her probation officer has already given her permission to go for 60 days as long as she agrees to make her final court appearance in May.
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
Geez. I'm just trying to help a family member out who can barely make ends meet let alone can afford internet or a computer.

Simple....

The custody/visitation/child support order she currently has with the 1st father says nothing what so ever about leaving the state.

The second child is not in questions as the father doesn't give a **** either way.

There are 2 questions here...

1. What does she have to do if she would like to come to FL on an extended vacation to spend some time and accept help from her very large family residing here?

2. If she wanted to persue opportunity elsewhere (FL) where she has a job, a car, a support system, and an ability to better provide for her children, what does she have to do in IN before she leaves? or can she handle that from FL once she gets here?

It's not necessary to be rude. I'm acting out of love and concern for a family member who I feel has no opportunity or family and support where she is. Excuse me for not having anything nice to say about a father who loves his pipe more than his child and not being concerned with whether or not he will object to her leaving. He has no rights because he's chosen not to. He has stated to me on the phone that he does not care. As for the 1st father, he is not a bad person, just has not displayed any real responsibility in caring for his child, however would object to her being taken out of the state.

I hope this was more clear for those grammar ****'s out there....lol

And thank you in advance for your advice in regards to questions 1. and 2. above.
I only see one rude person here, YOU.

Dad has PLENTY of rights. If mom leaves, dad can file to have child brought back, and mom may lose custody.

She better do it right, as you were TOLD to do - or she sets herself up to be judge-smacked.

Plain and simple. Follow the law.

And remember, mom slept with TWO men, and chose to do so willingly. You make her look like an idiot to suggest she slept with such poor choices for men. So quit bashing them, because it makes mom look even more UNSTABLE.

Maybe a change in custody wouldn't be so bad...
 

bitterdelight

Junior Member
Thank you very much. This is exactly what I was looking for in a round about way. Do you have any information about whether she is allowed to take the child out of state for an extended vacation to visit her family. Can this vacation be taken while she is waiting for his reply if she intends on coming back? She knows she must be back because she has a court date. Her probation officer has already given her permission to go for 60 days as long as she agrees to make her final court appearance in May.
how do you file a "motion of intent to move?" Is this something the clerk of courts can help her with? Or does she have to get an attourney?
 

Humusluvr

Senior Member
Thank you very much. This is exactly what I was looking for in a round about way. Do you have any information about whether she is allowed to take the child out of state for an extended vacation to visit her family. Can this vacation be taken while she is waiting for his reply if she intends on coming back? She knows she must be back because she has a court date. Her probation officer has already given her permission to go for 60 days as long as she agrees to make her final court appearance in May.
The first time she denies dad visitation, he can file with the court.

And she can't afford those lawyers fees on top of all the other problems she has already.

Do it the legal way, or she should just plan for the worst possible outcome.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
how do you file a "motion of intent to move?" Is this something the clerk of courts can help her with? Or does she have to get an attourney?
In Indiana you do not file a "motion of intent to move"...you send the other parent a letter stating your intent to move.
 

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