Question about how to best proceed with protecting assets while dealing with an elderly family member.

[Tom729]

Yeah, I'm kind of awed by the "elderly" things that this man is saying about his still fully employed, able to work every day pitiful aged broken down momma. And if "God forbid!" she should ever need to spend time in a nursing home.......he's wanting to be pre-planning it.

That line of thinking is very outdated, as outdated as most of those long term health care insurances have become. That old scare-you scenario of mother spending months, even years in a long term health care facility have changed considerably. And many of those long ago policies do not even pay for assisted living facilities or at-home care which the older person is much more likely to need than months and months of long term care in a nursing home precisely.

Having lived long and seen much, I am always convinced of the arbitrary indiscriminate way that careful estate planning can turn out to be either a very good thing, or a very expensive unnecessary thing. I have seen people who faithfully paid in to long term policies for years and had them turn out to be totally unnecessary as they went in an unexpected random flash very early. Come to think of it, I have rarely seen it play out that getting that long term insurance turned out to be such a huge good thing, as it has usually turned out to be very hard to get it going and very selective as to what it will and will not cover in terms of long term care. I have seen people who have far outlived even their own children that they had so carefully planned to bless with their passing. I have seen people who forgot they were going to do this all last week and now aren't capable of it anymore.

But the key here is that it is very much up to the mother to plan at this point, and from the sound of it, she can afford to consult an attorney and discuss all the potential moves she might make to deal with distribution of her assets wisely in many scenarios. And that might not turn out to be signing everything over to her son or putting his name on everything now. In any case, her wishes should be all important. She is probably of sound mind even though she's a decrepit old 67 year old. Find a reputable reliable attorney she has faith in and suggest she talk to him/her. That's my suggestion.

Thanks. That does make sense. I will recommend that she do that. Btw when I had this conversation with my mom she seemed just as eager to get additional information as I was.

 

[commentator]

Thank you, Tom, I know you're trying to be responsible and help your mom. This gives me a definite clue as to how my children view me these days, too, which is quite revealing!

 

[Tom729]

Yeah, I'm kind of awed by the "elderly" things that this man is saying about his still fully employed, able to work every day pitiful aged broken down momma. And if "God forbid!" she should ever need to spend time in a nursing home.......he's wanting to be pre-planning it for her.

That line of thinking is becoming outdated, as outdated as most of those long term health care insurances have become. That old scare-you scenarios of mother spending months, even years in a long term health care facility have changed considerably. And many of those long ago policies do not even pay for assisted living facilities, memory care or at-home care which the older person is much more likely to need than months and months of long term care in a skilled nursing facility precisely.

Having lived long and seen much, I am always convinced of the arbitrary indiscriminate way that careful estate planning can turn out to be either a very good thing, or a very expensive unnecessary thing. I have seen people who faithfully paid in to long term care policies for years and had them turn out to be totally unnecessary as they went out in an unexpected random flash very early. Come to think of it, I have rarely seen it play out that getting that long term insurance turned out to be such a huge good thing, as it has usually turned out to be very hard to get it going and very selective as to what it will and will not cover in terms of long term care. I have seen people who have far outlived even their own children that they had so carefully planned to bless with their passing. I have seen people who forgot they were going to do this all last week and now aren't capable of it anymore.

But the key here is that it is very much up to the mother to plan at this point, and from the sound of it, she can afford to consult an attorney and discuss all the potential moves she might make to deal with distribution of her assets wisely in many scenarios. And that might not turn out to be signing everything over to her son or putting his name on everything now. In any case, her wishes should be all important. She is probably of sound mind even though she's a decrepit old 67 year old. Find a reputable reliable attorney she has faith in and suggest she talk to him/her. That's my suggestion.

She is not even considering buying insurance because of the ridiculously high premium at her age that would only go up with time.