Question About Vermont Custody...Of Downs syndrome Daughter

[Summerbreeze]

State Where You Live? ~ Florida.....

I live in Florida and so did my ex spouse until he and his wife moved to Vermont about five months ago.... We have a "Downs Syndrome" daughter who is now 22 years old. My ex and his wife want to put our daughter into a Group Home to live 24 hours a day in Connecticut, because the wife wants to go back to work. I want to take our daughter here to live with me in Fl. and I do work, but have support systems that are wonderful...such as a sister who will watch my daughter, and her Grand parents also who are willing to take care of her. She can also volunteer at my work at a hospital. My ex and I share Joint Legal Custody of my daughter, and my daughter lives with them. My ex and his wife say...."No Way!" ....What legal options do I have? Can I get her? I don't want her in a group home in Ct....when we all live out of state, and also if she'd obviously be more happy with family.
Thanks so much....

 

[stealth2]

I think you really need to speak with an attorney in VT to find out what your legal options are - I suspect that this will have to go back to court.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Putting your special needs child in a group home is the next step in her transition to semi- independent living. While mainstreaming may not be as benificial to your child as remaining at home now, unfortunately it is the politically correct and accepted course of action at this time. Downs children may gain much needed life skills while in a group home and it prepares them for life after you are no longer able to care for them making a crisis transition more difficult in the future at a time when they are declining in their cognitive abilities. They also form much needed social relationships in group homes. A group home in CT may be a good com[rpmise as VT may not have adequate facilities available. Is this a group home from a large system or a standalone? She may have better access to DD resources. Now is the time to think about her future such as special needs trusts.

 

[nextwife]

I agree. One of my closest friends worked with developmentally disabled adults at an Independence Center, and there were horrible transition problems in later adulthood when the parents had NOT transitioned their kids toward semi-independence. We parents do NOT stay around, healthy and well for them, forever. She had a number of crises to deal with when the parental caregivers suddenly, or gradually, experienced health issues (or passed), leaving their adult kids underprepared to cope. The transition WILL need to occur, it's a matter of when, not IF. You may really want to rethink if "later" is better than "sooner".

Is there an appropriate group home nearer to you?