Question Concerning Alcohol

[blazers88]

What is the name of your state?Maine

Okay, here is the story. When my ex girlfriend and I dated, we used to go out and party quite a bit and a few times we got into arguments. One night I kicked my car and another time I got mad and called her a terrible name, both of these instances occured after I found out she was talking to an ex..no excuse I know! This all occured before our son was even thought of. Anyways, we have 50 /50 custody of our son and in no place does our order address alcohol. She seems to think that its okay for her to go out and party and to have people over for drinks when our son his home but its not okay for me to even have a few drinks when my son is away. She came by my house and saw 4 bottle caps that were on my counter and threw a fit. Now, I am the first to admit that I used to party a lot but fatherhood has changed me and now I just like to go out occasionaly when I dont have my son for a few drinks. I have never been arrested, never had a dui, never been told I have a drinking problem by anyone except my ex. She relates my problem to the two incidents above. Im thinking of trying to amend our order to say no alcohol is allowed when our son is present, for me this wouldnt be a problem but she is always having pool partys and what not. The thing is, I am just getting sick and tired of her putting me down and bringing up stuff from 3 years ago. Any suggestions? I can tone her out but after awhile she just gets on my nerves!!!

 

[tigger2two]

If its not in the order than niether of you are at fault for doing anything wrong.

 

[adonahee]

Sorry, but I beg to differ.....

Alcohol IS an issue - and partying with your children present can definitely be a problem. It doesn't have to be in the order. This is a moral fact. No moron getting drunk with the kids around is taking very proper care of them, true? It's another story altogether if your kids are with the other parent and you want to go out for a beer. So he's not doing anything wrong. But she might be!

 

[stealth2]

uuhh, having pool parties or friends over does not equal getting drunk. Even if alcohol is present. Walk into my home at any time and you will find a couple of bottles of wine and some beer in one or the other fridge as I like to have a glass of wine of an evening, or sometimes I have friends drop by for a drink. Doesn't mean I'm getting drunk every night. Where is the proof that EITHER of these parents is getting drunk in front of the kid?

 

[adonahee]

Sorry, I didn't make that clear...

I meant partying to get drunk, not having a couple of glasses of wine or beer....I meant in excess. And having friends over to share a couple doesn't make it a drunken party-fest, either! (That's why I said MAYBE it's a problem for her!!)

 

[tigger2two]

and sorry i didn't make it clear either! it didn't say in the OP that they were getting drunk. either of them. when i said drinking i meant having it present in front of the child. I choose not to drink or have it around my kids at all, but then again im not a drinker period. doesn't mean that legally bc the father and the mother are drinking (wisely) with the child present, that they are bad parents. Or even that they are breaking a court order.

 

[stealth2]

(That's why I said MAYBE it's a problem for her!!)

And really, maybe that's what she thinks about him - 4 bottle caps on a counter would mean 4 drinks opened. OP never mentioned if he had three buddies over or if he drank them himself. So maybe one or both - or neither - have drinking issues.