Question for a friend

[DianMc52]

What is the name of your state? FL
My friend's wife left him, their children, and their home to live with another man she was having an affair with in Oct 2004. She filed for divorce in Oct 2005. In Dec 2005 she sent a letter through the court, before the final hearing asking for her belongings. My friend no longer has her personal belongings. He was devastated by her betrayal and he disposed of everything that she did not take when 6 months after she left. Is he going to get in trouble for this?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? FL
My friend's wife left him, their children, and their home to live with another man she was having an affair with in Oct 2004. She filed for divorce in Oct 2005. In Dec 2005 she sent a letter through the court, before the final hearing asking for her belongings. My friend no longer has her personal belongings. He was devastated by her betrayal and he disposed of everything that she did not take when 6 months after she left. Is he going to get in trouble for this?

Yes...that one is probably going to bite him in the butt. I hope he didn't dispose of anything valuable or that would be considered a family heirloom.
Most likely he is going to have to compensate her somehow.

For the sake of others reading this....it is not wise to dispose of someone's personal belongings in a situation like this, unless you have sent them a certified letter warning them that if they don't pick up their belongings within 30 or 60 days (or some other time period), that you will dispose of them.

If its too upsetting to have the belongings around...then pack them up in boxes and put them in the garage or shed or some other storage location...but don't dispose of them.

 

[DianMc52]

More info please.

FL Thanks for the information. I guess it is a surprise that she would ask for things a year later. What about items purchased during the marriage? Are they considered considered personal belongings or marital property if items were purchased for home use and not her personal use. He was under the impression when she moved out she had taken all that she wanted to take, since she was setting up a new household with this other man. He did tell her to pick up her things, I guess his mistake is not putting it in writing. This was a 28 year marriage. Does she have to prove ownership of the personal property?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

FL Thanks for the information. I guess it is a surprise that she would ask for things a year later. What about items purchased during the marriage? Are they considered considered personal belongings or marital property if items were purchased for home use and not her personal use. He was under the impression when she moved out she had taken all that she wanted to take, since she was setting up a new household with this other man. He did tell her to pick up her things, I guess his mistake is not putting it in writing. This was a 28 year marriage. Does she have to prove ownership of the personal property?

what personal belongings? She took everything with her when you committed adultery.

And let her prove otherwise.

 

[DianMc52]

She committed adultery not him

He did not commit adultery!!! I did not commit adultery!!! She committed adultery. I know because the man she left him for was my husband. Her husband and I have never met, we have only talked on the phone. He was totally in the dark about the affair. My husband and his wife had been planning to move in together for months before she actually left him. She has had a year to collect any personal belongings. Her husband had originally hoped for reconcilliation and still loves her. My husband and I divorced in Jun 05.

 

[LdiJ]

FL Thanks for the information. I guess it is a surprise that she would ask for things a year later. What about items purchased during the marriage? Are they considered considered personal belongings or marital property if items were purchased for home use and not her personal use. He was under the impression when she moved out she had taken all that she wanted to take, since she was setting up a new household with this other man. He did tell her to pick up her things, I guess his mistake is not putting it in writing. This was a 28 year marriage. Does she have to prove ownership of the personal property?

Well, adultery or not, she is entitled to half of the marital property, which includes items purchased for the home, half of the equity in the home, half of any bank accounts, IRAs or 401Ks, stocks etc.

 

[DianMc52]

I know that each are entitled to marital property 50/50 or equitable distribution as the court sees it. Whatever they agree to is what each other gets to keep unless a judge decides for them. It will be up to her to prove they are non-marital assets or personal property. Any income made during the marriage is considered marital income; so whatever she bought with that income belongs to both of them. I found this out during my dissolution.
My personal opinion is that she made the choice to leave personal belongings behind and could have retrieved them for the first 6 months after she left him. She always had keys and access to the marital home.
I probably would have had a yard sale or given my husband's personal belongings to a charity myself after 6 months. If he had not retrieved the items by then I would think he was not coming back for them and they were not that important.
If she did not retrieve her possessions in a timely manner then she was stupid!!

 

[justalayman]

Is the home rented or were they purchasing the home.

If they (as in husband and wife)purchasing the home, it is still HER house as well and why would she have to move things from her house?

 

[LdiJ]

Is the home rented or were they purchasing the home.

If they (as in husband and wife)purchasing the home, it is still HER house as well and why would she have to move things from her house?

The same logic would apply if she were on a lease as well.

 

[DianMc52]

FL
She chose to leave her home and her children. No one made her move. I agree she did not have to move her/their property from the home since they both still own it (the house and the property inside the house). I was only asking a question for a friend?
If there was anything that I considered my personal property I would have taken it with me just on the off chance that it would not be there later. As far as I know she still has the keys and can go in the house and take anything she wants. Her husband is not vindictive, he just did not want anything that reminded him of her in the home and emotions got the better of him. He was devastated and suicidal when she left. They were together for 28 years. She was the love of his life and will always be. He has come a long way since last year,but will never be the same.
I am sure the courts will decide what is fair.