Question for all posters:

[Illinois Parent]

I have been a semi-regular on these boards for about two years. Semi-regular meaning I post regularly for a while, get burnt out by the insanity, inanity, irresponsibility, then don't post for a while. I've made some observations from this viewpoint, and would like to hear other's opinions.

It sometimes seems to me that those who are posting now are more of the 'fix my life, oh great and powerful judge' ilk than there were, say, a year ago. It also sometimes seems that there are more who are taking proactive stances. Yes, this seems contradictory, but it really is not.

Let's just say the two 'camps' are more clearly delineated, and more entrenched in their particular mindsets. As if the opposing factions are polarizing. And I see this in a general kind of way, spread over the various family boards.

I'd really like to hear what other's thoughts on this may be. If you haven't noticed/disagree with this premise or if you have a theory on why this premise has merit, feel free to chime in.

I do, however, request that responses refrain from the personal, guttural attacks that have a tendency to surface when many are espousing contradictory positions.

 

[kat1963]

IP, I read your message 3 times....I have nooooooooooo idea what you are getting at here. *LOL* But I will give it a try. Are you saying that the familiar, Daddy as only a wallet phase is coming to end? Yes, I agree, though I doubt in my lifetime we will ever see equality in the court room. Perhaps in my younger sons. I think there is a lot of things we can thank the internet for, and that is one of them. Sadly, however, the internet is now a major cause of disrupted families on the move. I don't know how many times I've read where someone found their ultimate soul mate life partner and now simply must move clear across the country or out of the country, ripping their families apart, because after all, they have a life and deserve to be happy tooo!!! Or OH what the heck just abandon them all together (and this appears to be non gender specific). I love to read the flames that appear after someone directs morality and responsibility into the picture. Rarely does one want to hear that they are wrong and simply might not go the way they believe it should. *Wake Up Calls* are rarely ever met with *ahh, you might be right* but more and more defensive comments and mud slinging. It kinda cracks me up, here they are asking for help, heaven forbid you post something they don’t want to hear. Doesn't bother me, I'm not here to sooth anyone's feelings when they are just out and out wrong.

Okay, I’ve probably rambled off in a different direction. I refuse to take responsibility for this and will therefore blame it on one tooo many cups of coffee this morning. HA!

KAT

 

[Illinois Parent]

Sorry to confuse, but that, I think, proves another of my pet theories...there is no such thing as an unbiased poll! In order to get certain responses, question have to be framed in a certain way... oh well.

To clarify what I'm really trying to find out about, I'll have to 'show' my biases. It is my opinion that there are two basic kinds of people who post questions/ask for advice.
1)those who want someone else to solve their problems for them, and in such a way that it feeds their 'pity-pot'
and
2) those who want to know how they can get/maintain control over their own and their children's/family's lives.

To confuse matters once again, my original position was that each of these 'camps' have become more polarized. It just seems to me that the denial camp has become more vocal and strident and self-righteous in their quest to exonerate themselves from any culpability of the mess they have made. From your response, I think I can guess your opinion on this part.

I feel it is very annoying at best, soul-sickening at worst, that there are so many of 'these' out there. These are the people who make a series of bad choices or bad decisions, then wonder why they're in a mess. Then, instead of realizing and admitting what they have done to help create their mess, they lash out at those who are silly enough to point that fact out to them. My blood nearly boils when I read a post that is filled with personal pronouns (I, Me, Mine), and 'rights', without a single sentence about obligations, duties and responsibilities. It is all bad enough and sad enough when people are talking about their spouses, ex spouses, or material things, but when they are talking about children, I want to respond with the suggestion of voluntary sterilization. (In a few cases, involuntary sterilization.)

And at the same time, those who are seeking information seem to be asking for more and better information, with a profound awareness they are ultimately the best qualified to decide what is best for themselves, their children and their families. These are the ones that give me hope for the future of our society.

The underlying impetus for this entire post is another 'pet theory' of mine. Simply stated, I think that contrary to what the media tells us, we, as a nation of peoples, have been fundamentally changed as a result of September 11. I think that those who were inclined to let other's run their lives, thereby avoiding responsibility, are more so inclined. At the same time, I believe that those who were more inclined to take charge of their lives, their actions, and take responsibility for the results of those actions are also more so inclined. From here, my 'pet theory' would digress into a sociological/philosophical discussion way outside the focus of this forum.

This just happened to all come to mind in relation to this forum, and I was simply wondering if anyone else saw these, similar or other changes in the types of questions that are asked in these posts. Or if others see no changes or differences.

 

[dorenephilpot]

The ones that make me shake my head are the ones who do the following:

First, they present a problem and suggest that they're seeking advice on solving that problem.

Then someone will answer and tell the poster the options available.

Then the first poster will say that none of those options are possible or a good solution (usually because they require some effort or time) and then they want to hear a NEW list of options, ones that don't require any actual effort or time on their part.

And they lament in their final post on the thread, "Can someone give me some REAL advice here?"

Sigh.....