question on child support amount and about a lawyer

[nextwife]

Were I a parent paying for childcare (which I was until two years ago), I'd ONLY be willing to pay toward an accredited, certified program that must submit to inspection, that I could walk into anytime to monitor/observe my child, which complied with state standards for outdoor time and activities, and that provided my child interaction opportunities, and the need to learn skills such as sharing & turn taking through peer interaction.

I would be very unhappy about being asked to provide a private nanny.

 

[Ohiogal]

Were I a parent paying for childcare (which I was until two years ago), I'd ONLY be willing to pay toward an accredited, certified program that must submit to inspection, that I could walk into anytime to monitor/observe my child, which complied with state standards for outdoor time and activities, and that provided my child interaction opportunities, and the need to learn skills such as sharing & turn taking through peer interaction.

I would be very unhappy about being asked to provide a private nanny.

Especially when there would be NO PROOF that payments were actually be used to pay for daycare and the daycare provider would not abide by state law to allow the parent access.

 

[nextwife]

Especially when there would be NO PROOF that payments were actually be used to pay for daycare and the daycare provider would not abide by state law to allow the parent access.

Agreed. Transparency, to me and many, is a critical component in a daycare provider. a parent should be able to observe their child at daycare anytime without problems. Hubby or I could visit and observe kiddo at her daycare anytime. And, yes, they monitored who was there. But there were no "secrets" and both parents had full access to the childcare WE were paying for.

 

[LdiJ]

Agreed. Transparency, to me and many, is a critical component in a daycare provider. a parent should be able to observe their child at daycare anytime without problems. Hubby or I could visit and observe kiddo at her daycare anytime. And, yes, they monitored who was there. But there were no "secrets" and both parents had full access to the childcare WE were paying for.

I respect your opinion on this, but clearly the law does not prevent a private nanny or babysitter from being used.

 

[psubaby08]

well i can understand where the transparency thing comes in. but wish everyone would stop assuming he wants to be ultimate involvement and has the babys best interest in mind because he doesnt. he is flat out said he's just going to get back at me for breaking up with him.a he wants to be involved in her life when it is convenient for him only on his schedule only in his places and only when she is happy and not cranky and not sick and not tired. he has seen her 5 times while he was on leave never saw her for more then 2 hours because he had better things to do and because she was cranky and fussy and it was more important for him to go visit his buddies then to stay with a cranky sick baby. also he is the one adamant about going through court because he feels he shouldnt have to pay child support over the amount of 200 a month which given both our incomes doesn't' even come close to the standard state approved amount.

i figured id be payin my mother on my own and figured thre was no set law requiring him to pay but i had just wanted to know if their was at least a shot of me getting him to help pay some. I am not really concerned wiht money, i will be making enough money to buy the baby everything she needs but since a support conference was automatically set up i'm not just going to roll over and tell him he doesnt need to pay anything. i am also not going to be forced to put my daughter into daycare with complete strangers who (even accredited) i dont trust to take care of my daughter while neither I nor her father can take care of her. I feel it is in a childs best interest tht in the abscence of a parent watching them, then a known loving relative they have spent literally entire life with so far is a much better caretaker then a complete stranger in some facility. especially given her such young age (4 months) and need for more one on one attention rather than attention being split between 4 or 5 or more children to every 1 caretaker.

 

[psubaby08]

to OG ....again I am sorry. I do apologize for getting snippy with you and for calling you names. I know I am not the only person on this site to have gotten rude with you and im sure I wont be the last because we all have our own opinions of what we want to hear. However, Like before, i do apologize for being rude and I will refrain from being snippy to the senior members and do value the advice given even thought that one time i did get rude about the answer.

 

[LdiJ]

to OG ....again I am sorry. I do apologize for getting snippy with you and for calling you names. I know I am not the only person on this site to have gotten rude with you and im sure I wont be the last because we all have our own opinions of what we want to hear. However, Like before, i do apologize for being rude and I will refrain from being snippy to the senior members and do value the advice given even thought that one time i did get rude about the answer.

You also so probably stop deleting your posts. I personally don't care about that one way or another, and there is no site rule preventing that, but others get very upset about it (because then the information isn't available for future posters to see).

 

[psubaby08]

thats fair enough and I wont delete another post

 

[stealth2]

but others get very upset about it (because then the information isn't available for future posters to see).

Actually, not only that. IMO, that's the least of it. I get ticked when someone get snippy, deletes a thread, then comes back like they're all sugar and spice and everything nice, please help me with my problem. Like hell - what a waste of my time.

 

[Just Blue]

Actually, not only that. IMO, that's the least of it. I get ticked when someone get snippy, deletes a thread, then comes back like they're all sugar and spice and everything nice, please help me with my problem. Like hell - what a waste of my time.

Exactly. OP lied, was called out by OG and then was rude and insulting. I do not recall an apology. This OP deserves no further help...IMO!

 

[LdiJ]

Exactly. OP lied, was called out by OG and then was rude and insulting. I do not recall an apology. This OP deserves no further help...IMO!

She did apologize a few posts above.

 

[Just Blue]

She did apologize a few posts above.

She said that she apologized in her deleted thread. She didn't...At least that I can recall.

 

[Humusluvr]

She said that she apologized in her deleted thread. She didn't...At least that I can recall.

And her question WAS answered. The court may not allow her half of daycare expenses if any, due to the fact that no one knows if she's paying grandma and grandma is hiding her income from the IRS. If I were dad, I certainly would object to paying "grandma-nanny."

 

[LdiJ]

And her question WAS answered. The court may not allow her half of daycare expenses if any, due to the fact that no one knows if she's paying grandma and grandma is hiding her income from the IRS. If I were dad, I certainly would object to paying "grandma-nanny."

Its a bit presumptious to assume that grandma is going to hide her income, she may, she may not. Lots of people who get paid for private babysitting don't hide their income, they are smart enough to know that they need the social security credits.

Grandma is quitting her job to do this...I suspect that grandma wouldn't do that for free...and probably couldn't afford to do it for free.

The bottom line is that lots of relatives get paid for providing daycare...and lots of ncps are ordered to pay a portion of those costs. Some of the ncps get cheated in the process, and many others don't.

I used private daycare when my daughter was an infant (I had a nanny who was a long time family friend) because I would never have sent her to a daycare either. Therefore I have sympathy with others who want the same.

I also have some sympathy for posters who get snippy. Anything to do with kids and separated parents is a very emotionally charged situation for most people. Its not so strange that they react badly when they hear something that is totally different than what they expect to hear. The smart ones realize that they behaved badly and try to change their attitude. The not so smart ones keep up the "tude".

 

[mmmagique]

Op, to answer your question, I'd say you have a good shot at receiving a portion of the child care expenses you will be paying out to your mom.
I haven't seen courts ask for proof, but even if they did, a signed notarized statement from your mom stating when she will start providing childcare, and how much you are paying should be sufficient.
Make sure you pay her though; you're very lucky to have someone taking care of her that loves her. That's worth A lot!

~Christina