Question

[WyattJ]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I was wondering that if parents have joint parenting agreement does that mean that anything concerning the child is suppose to go through the parents and the parents only?

Is it okay for the father to communicate through other people to get a message to the mother?

What is the best way for communication?

 

[hexeliebe]

How about a few more details. There's too much you're not telling us.

 

[WyattJ]

more details

Okay I have been having problems with my son's dad not wanting to talk to me about any issues about our son. I think maybe he is still upset with me because I have brought him in to court a couple of times this year.

This past Monday we were in court because he wanted to get me on contempt of court charges. The judge dismissed the charges because it was not intentional thing (it had to do with not giving him a copy of report).

So a couple of days ago I wrote him a letter in a way of communication since he will not talk to me. He has his girlfriend or mother call or talk to me when picking up our son for the visits. He did reply to that letter but basically was telling me to quit whining. That I can get in trouble if I don't communicate with the parties he chooses to communicate with me.

What can I do to get through to him that communicating with each other is better between us, that information doesn't get messed up, and our son can see that we can deal with issues concerning him in a positive matter.

Also my son came home with a attitude because he over heard dad and his girlfriend talking about me and how I don't take the child support and directing spend it on him. My son is 9, of course, he is not going to understand that child support isn't there to buy everything he wants. How do I tell my son or explain to him how that works, or do I even need to bother with that with my son? I would like some answers. I just don't know what or how to handle all of this.

 

[Boxcarbill]

What in the hell are people thinking when after a divorce or some other failed relationship, they decide to start consulting with their children regarding the other parent's financial matters and the other parents sex life. And these same folks cannot figure out why the child by the time it reaches 15 has no respect for either parent.

A judge once said, in rendering his verdict, "What we have here is an old problem. Children having children." Unfortunately, while the parents are growing up so are the children.

 

[FJ1200guy]

LOL...

Your son is 9. He doesn't need any explanation. YOU=parent. HIM= child. I'm not sure there is a way to make a child of this age understand CS, and how it works. Look at all the adults that still don't get it! If he has an attitude, send him to his room... or take away his PS2.
As far as communication... I think we've discussed this on another post, yes? It is not unusual for communication to break down after a divorce, or separation. This is why you have court ordered support and visitation... stick to the written word.