Question

[Suzeq28]

What is the name of your state? WV
My husband and I just filed for a modification thru the family law master. When he was divorced it said in his papers that he was to receive reasonable visitation...so in the modification he just filed, he wants joint custody. The biological mother has been very good about letting us see the kids whenever we want to etc., but at times she has thrown up the fact that she can withhold visitation from his because of the statement in the divorce papers... my question is... when we do go to court (we do not have a lawyer), will the family law master speak with the kids in private? I would love for her (family law master) to because the biological mom is verbally abusive to the kids. They live in filth, the biological mom has a disease that has made her blind (Lebers or something) and she can't take care of herself let alone the kids. The oldest daughter would love to live with us, but we thought we would take baby steps ie - joint custody - before moving on to get full custody of them.

 

[Ambr]

when we do go to court (we do not have a lawyer), will the family law master speak with the kids in private?

You don't mention the age of the children, but in most custody cases the children do get to voice their thoughts / opinions to the judge (or in your case the family law master). Remember, its just their feelings. The judge is still going to make his ruling with the thoughts of what is best for the child, not what the child wants.

They live in filth,

If dad has concerns about the living conditions of the children, he needs to voice those concerns -- in his hearing, to CPS, a hotline. If he thinks it is not safe for his children to be there.

the biological mom has a disease that has made her blind (Lebers or something) and she can't take care of herself let alone the kids.

Being blind doesn't make her an unfit mother. Lots of mothers can function - and do it well - raising their children.

 

[Suzeq28]

The children are seven, two nine year old twins, and an 11 year old. I didn't mean to sound insensitive about the biological mother being blind and not able to take care of her kids.. I should have stated that even if she wasn't blind that the kids would still not taken care of, she's just plain lazy if you want my honest opinion, and yes, its only an opinion ... they miss a lot of school, (the 11 year old missed 27 days of school in one grading period... school was in session 44 days during that session) they get no help with their school work etc., and when I say the house is nasty, its bad... they have cats running around all over the place, none of which uses the litter box... the kids pretty much fend for themselves for dinner unless their grandmother comes up and cooks for them (only when she can be pried away from the gambling machines). It's really a bad situation for them, and I pray that the family law master will talk to them, and I pray that the girls will be truthful. CPS has been called a few times yet nothing has been done. CPS did call and tell the biological mom that they were going to do a home visit within the next few days, however, that never happened. What happened to surprise home visits?

 

[Phnx02]

The children are seven, two nine year old twins, and an 11 year old. I didn't mean to sound insensitive about the biological mother being blind and not able to take care of her kids.. I should have stated that even if she wasn't blind that the kids would still not taken care of, she's just plain lazy if you want my honest opinion, and yes, its only an opinion ... they miss a lot of school, (the 11 year old missed 27 days of school in one grading period... school was in session 44 days during that session) they get no help with their school work etc., and when I say the house is nasty, its bad... they have cats running around all over the place, none of which uses the litter box... the kids pretty much fend for themselves for dinner unless their grandmother comes up and cooks for them (only when she can be pried away from the gambling machines). It's really a bad situation for them, and I pray that the family law master will talk to them, and I pray that the girls will be truthful. CPS has been called a few times yet nothing has been done. CPS did call and tell the biological mom that they were going to do a home visit within the next few days, however, that never happened. What happened to surprise home visits?

It's highly doubtful a judge or master will talk to children that young. That's a job for social services or a guardian ad litem. Being lazy does not make for a bad parent. If she's truley neglectful ie; the children are not being fed or cared for properly, then this is something else. You say she allows your husband visitation practically anytime he wishes.....then why isn't he doing more as it is? If you know the kids don't eat unless grandma cooks, then why don't you and your husband provide them dinner more? Get up a 1/2 earlier everyday and get them off to school yourselves. Be available to help with homework on a regular basis. Call animal control to come get all the cats, or teach the kids to clean the litter box for God's sake.....they're old enough! I'm just amazed how so many people (mostly new wives & G/F's) complain how bad things are, but don't do anything but complain!

 

[Ambr]

I don't know about WV, but our children (5 and 7) were appointed a GAL who did talk with the kids and voiced the kids wishes to the Judge during our case. Wehnt the kids got older, 8 and 10, they actually spoke with the Judge in his chambers, not in the court room.

I think it would depend on who was hearing the case.

 

[Suzeq28]

It's highly doubtful a judge or master will talk to children that young. That's a job for social services or a guardian ad litem. Being lazy does not make for a bad parent. If she's truley neglectful ie; the children are not being fed or cared for properly, then this is something else. You say she allows your husband visitation practically anytime he wishes.....then why isn't he doing more as it is? If you know the kids don't eat unless grandma cooks, then why don't you and your husband provide them dinner more? Get up a 1/2 earlier everyday and get them off to school yourselves. Be available to help with homework on a regular basis. Call animal control to come get all the cats, or teach the kids to clean the litter box for God's sake.....they're old enough! I'm just amazed how so many people (mostly new wives & G/F's) complain how bad things are, but don't do anything but complain

How bout we just move in with the ex-wife so we raise the kids for her? There's only so much you can do when you live an hour away from the ex and the kids...and for your information, I, the new wife, do everything I can for those kids... my husband works on the river 21 days and off 21 days, even when he's on the river for the 21 days I still go get the kids, every weekend, i help them with their homework, on the weekends, I cook for them, treat them with dignity and respect, unlike their own mother so don't judge me or others until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

 

[Suzeq28]

It's highly doubtful a judge or master will talk to children that young. That's a job for social services or a guardian ad litem. Being lazy does not make for a bad parent. If she's truley neglectful ie; the children are not being fed or cared for properly, then this is something else. You say she allows your husband visitation practically anytime he wishes.....then why isn't he doing more as it is? If you know the kids don't eat unless grandma cooks, then why don't you and your husband provide them dinner more? Get up a 1/2 earlier everyday and get them off to school yourselves. Be available to help with homework on a regular basis. Call animal control to come get all the cats, or teach the kids to clean the litter box for God's sake.....they're old enough! I'm just amazed how so many people (mostly new wives & G/F's) complain how bad things are, but don't do anything but complain!

How bout we just move in with the ex-wife so we take care of her and raise the kids? There's only so much you can do when you live an hour away from the ex and the kids...and for your information, I, the new wife, do everything I can for those kids... my husband works on the river 21 days and off 21 days, even when he's on the river for the 21 days I still go get the kids, every weekend, i help them with their homework, I cook for them, treat them with dignity and respect, unlike their own mother so don't judge me or others until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

 

[Ambr]

My niece reminded me the other day of one of her BEST memories when she was growing up. (She's a divorce kid too).

My mom use to drive over and pick her up for school. Sausage biscuit on one hand and wash rag and change of clothes in the other. Cleaned her up, put her in clean clothes and dropped her off at school. After school, picked her up (pb&j in hand) and put her back in her original clothese (cleaned and patched if needed) and took her home.

 

[Suzeq28]

Ambr, awww how nice!

 

[Ambr]

The nice thing is that my niece doesn't remember it was because Mom partied a little too much and didn't pay as much attention to a clean house, clean clothese, etc. that she should have.

All my niece remembers are the sausage biscuits and singing in the car.

Lighter note - Mom grew up and things worked out.