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Questions about Mortage re:unmarried couple

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DANGDOG1

New member
Connecticut
Boyfriend wants to put me on mortgage
I am 52 and dating an older man 70 who has been divorced for 8 years. He lives on a fixed income and therefore was not able to qualify for refinancing after the divorce, so his ex-wife is still on the mortgage and title (mortgage is 1900/mo). Property is worth 300K and he has 100K equity in it. His home is a farming property with horses, etc., so not easy for him to sell and move. He has asked me to move in with him and has presented several options. Option 1I can pay him 900 rent and half the utilities, food, etc. Option 2) I can 'purchase equity' in his property of 10 or more and 'sell that equity' if I ever move out. Not sure what he means by this. Option 3) He applies to have his ex-wife taken off the mortgage and title and puts me on the mortgage and title as co-borrower. I have excellent credit and earn 80K/yr, so would probably qualify. I earn considerably more than he does and want to protect myself. His property is not one I would buy if I was looking to buy my own house. Also have concerns about the chance of him needing nursing home care in 10 years and the chance of having the house taken as an asset to pay for that after I would have put equity in. What is the best way to protect myself in this situation?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
Connecticut
Boyfriend wants to put me on mortgage
I am 52 and dating an older man 70 who has been divorced for 8 years. He lives on a fixed income and therefore was not able to qualify for refinancing after the divorce, so his ex-wife is still on the mortgage and title (mortgage is 1900/mo). Property is worth 300K and he has 100K equity in it. His home is a farming property with horses, etc., so not easy for him to sell and move. He has asked me to move in with him and has presented several options. Option 1I can pay him 900 rent and half the utilities, food, etc. Option 2) I can 'purchase equity' in his property of 10 or more and 'sell that equity' if I ever move out. Not sure what he means by this. Option 3) He applies to have his ex-wife taken off the mortgage and title and puts me on the mortgage and title as co-borrower. I have excellent credit and earn 80K/yr, so would probably qualify. I earn considerably more than he does and want to protect myself. His property is not one I would buy if I was looking to buy my own house. Also have concerns about the chance of him needing nursing home care in 10 years and the chance of having the house taken as an asset to pay for that after I would have put equity in. What is the best way to protect myself in this situation?
The best way would probably be just to pay rent. That means that you will have to move out if he needs to go into a nursing home or passes away, but at least you would not be stuck with a mortgage on property you do not really want, and whose value may be unpredictable down the road.
 

adjusterjack

Senior Member
What is the best way to protect myself in this situation?
The best way is not do any of the three. Don't live with him and don't get financially involved with him. We see this kind of situation countless times on these legal websites and all the people who didn't think it would ever go bad because they were in love, well, it went bad with dire consequences.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
The best way is not do any of the three. Don't live with him and don't get financially involved with him. We see this kind of situation countless times on these legal websites and all the people who didn't think it would ever go bad because they were in love, well, it went bad with dire consequences.
So you are advocating that people should never move in together? There is nothing wrong with paying rent. Its comingling finances that is the problem.
 

HRZ

Senior Member
Well there is a 4 and even a 5 th option....you put up your credit worry position in return for a deeded nterest ...say JTWROS ..or you buy it all at a favorable price and rent it back to him as your nvestment...at a realistic rate based on market ..say $3000 a month . Each has plus points and minus points ...but you need to be considering options with your lawyer that make sense to you...you do not want to be his free live in caretaker that owes him rent with no security if he decides to t bail out or God calls him in. And his X being on title could be a royal mess if he passes first. Lots of loose ends ...get some solid paid legal advice .
 

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