questions about things

[keegansmommy]

What is the name of your state? wi
Hi, i'm new here, and i have a few ?s for starters i just got the results back from the paternity test and they turned out to be the guy who i knew it was but he had doubts, now he left me a voicemail and said we have to figure out something for joint custody, because he can't afford to pay support on 2 kids, because he had another son with his ex and he'll be 1 in july, and he also said if i won't allow joint custody, which i have many reasons not to want him to have it, but if i won't allow joint he wants to figure out some way to sign over his rights, which i won't let him do either because i didnt create my son on my own, but he left all this on a voicemail, is it illegal for me to save that message or record it onto a tape so it doesnt get deleted from my voicemail, and bring it to court with me??

 

[Neal1421]

What is the name of your state? wi
Hi, i'm new here, and i have a few ?s for starters i just got the results back from the paternity test and they turned out to be the guy who i knew it was but he had doubts, now he left me a voicemail and said we have to figure out something for joint custody, because he can't afford to pay support on 2 kids, because he had another son with his ex and he'll be 1 in july, and he also said if i won't allow joint custody, which i have many reasons not to want him to have it, but if i won't allow joint he wants to figure out some way to sign over his rights, which i won't let him do either because i didnt create my son on my own, but he left all this on a voicemail, is it illegal for me to save that message or record it onto a tape so it doesnt get deleted from my voicemail, and bring it to court with me??

It is not illegal however the judge may not listen to it in court.

He will not be able to sign over his rights, however a judge may order that he have joint custody. It is not up to you, this is also his child.

Also, having joint custody does not mean that he will get out of paying child support.

 

[Mbarr77]

What is the name of your state? wi
Hi, i'm new here, and i have a few ?s for starters i just got the results back from the paternity test and they turned out to be the guy who i knew it was but he had doubts, now he left me a voicemail and said we have to figure out something for joint custody, because he can't afford to pay support on 2 kids, because he had another son with his ex and he'll be 1 in july, and he also said if i won't allow joint custody, which i have many reasons not to want him to have it, but if i won't allow joint he wants to figure out some way to sign over his rights, which i won't let him do either because i didnt create my son on my own, but he left all this on a voicemail, is it illegal for me to save that message or record it onto a tape so it doesnt get deleted from my voicemail, and bring it to court with me??

Well, he better get used to paying support on two children because he is going to be!

First of all, it is not up to you to allow or not allow joint custody that is up to the judge and the courts. If he chooses not to see the child after custody is determined that is up to him.

As for signing over his rights, even if you were going to let him it is not nearly that easy!

 

[keegansmommy]

but the thing is the only reason why he wants joint custody is because he doesnt want to have to pay support and it says it right on his message thats the only reason why he wants it

 

[Mbarr77]

It is not illegal however the judge may not listen to it in court.

He will not be able to sign over his rights, however a judge may order that he have joint custody. It is not up to you, this is also his child.

Also, having joint custody does not mean that he will get out of paying child support.

Typing at the same time again!

 

[Mbarr77]

but the thing is the only reason why he wants joint custody is because he doesnt want to have to pay support and it says it right on his message thats the only reason why he wants it

Joint custody doesn't mean that he gets out of paying support!

 

[Neal1421]

but the thing is the only reason why he wants joint custody is because he doesnt want to have to pay support and it says it right on his message thats the only reason why he wants it

As I stated before, the judge may not even allow the tape to be heard so it is irrelevant. He will not get out of support, and you will not get out of letting the child spend time with his dad if that is what the dad wants. It is not up to you.

 

[MrsK]

but the thing is the only reason why he wants joint custody is because he doesnt want to have to pay support and it says it right on his message thats the only reason why he wants it

He probably means SHARED custody, which is 50/50 time with each parent and sometimes, if the two people make about the same amount of $$ a year, there is no support awarded to either party. If he makes more than you, then even with 50/50 you could be awarded support. He could just get visitation but some states give a reduction to parents who keep their children so many days a year, so he may just get set periods of time with the child equalling less than 50%, but if your state is one that gives reduction for time spent with the child, you could end up with less support than you are thinking you will get.

He has every right to try and fight for shared custody. Its a tough call whether or not he would get it, like everyone else said, its up to the judge, and not you. You said you had reasons you didnt want this....I'd personally be interested in hearing them...

 

[keegansmommy]

but who knows for sure my son is 11 wks old and has only seen him like 3 times and thats only because i have made the effort not him he only lives like 20 mins from me and hasnt even tried to come and see him so it just makes me mad, and even if he was to get joint custody he wouldn't be home with him anyways, hes never at home hes always out partying or hanging out with different girls

 

[Neal1421]

but who knows for sure my son is 11 wks old and has only seen him like 3 times and thats only because i have made the effort not him he only lives like 20 mins from me and hasnt even tried to come and see him so it just makes me mad, and even if he was to get joint custody he wouldn't be home with him anyways, hes never at home hes always out partying or hanging out with different girls

That is irrelevant. So just get that out of your head if that is one of your reasons.

With the child being that young, I doubt he will get joint custody although it is possible.

 

[LdiJ]

As I stated before, the judge may not even allow the tape to be heard so it is irrelevant. He will not get out of support, and you will not get out of letting the child spend time with his dad if that is what the dad wants. It is not up to you.

The judge may not allow the tape to be heard...but the judge may also. In addition, the judge may be willing to look at a transcript of the tape.

This particular tape may get more attention from a judge than others, since it could be construed as direct evidence that he is only interested in joint custody in order to avoid child support. It was actually a very stupid message for dad to leave.

 

[critterperson]

What is the name of your state? wi
Hi, i'm new here, and i have a few ?s for starters i just got the results back from the paternity test and they turned out to be the guy who i knew it was but he had doubts, now he left me a voicemail and said we have to figure out something for joint custody, because he can't afford to pay support on 2 kids, because he had another son with his ex and he'll be 1 in july, and he also said if i won't allow joint custody, which i have many reasons not to want him to have it, but if i won't allow joint he wants to figure out some way to sign over his rights, which i won't let him do either because i didnt create my son on my own, but he left all this on a voicemail, is it illegal for me to save that message or record it onto a tape so it doesnt get deleted from my voicemail, and bring it to court with me??

Keep the voicemail...It is only illegal in your state to tape someone without their knowledge if he left a voicemail he knew he was being recorded...Go to your local child support division for your state, and get the ball rolling for child support if he wants visitation it is handled seperately and he will have to bring the action...

http://www.dwd.state.wi.us/dwd/publications/dws/child_support/dwsc_812_p.htm

Here is a link to get you started!
Good Luck!

 

[keegansmommy]

to mrsk

if you want u can email me seperately because i can't figure out how to email on her my email is [email protected], and well talk about this whole thing

 

[ems9882]

a little advice

hello i am a single parent and am going threw the same situation u are. 1. pick and choose who u lay down with wisely if u dont want that person to see theire own child if u made one with them then dont lay down with them. not to sound mean just speaking the truth. in my situation it is the same but heres an option ask for supervied visitation ubtil u feel comft. with him being with the child alone. explain the reasons to the madgist. as to why u want this.if he pays support he does have every right to that child so u need to get it handaled asap!!!!! 2. u can record his message but it will be useless the judge will not care if he says he wants to sing over his rights, guys make babies everyday and dont want anything to do with them so its very common,/ this is how i see it he obv. wants to see his child and be part of her life but cannot offord support!WELL THEN DONT MAKE BABIES IF U DONT WANT TO PAY FOR THEM.and as much as u ahve aggainst him u cannot deny a child to have a relationship with her father. every child needs a mother and a father or male and female role model.unless he is a child molester or abusive or soething like that i would try supervised visitation for now. people do chiange u need to give that a try for ur childs sake b/c thats the only person that's goona get hurt in this situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[MrsK]

if you want u can email me seperately because i can't figure out how to email on her my email is [email protected], and well talk about this whole thing

If you want to talk about it, then we'll do it here.