Questions on future court activity

[cmykds]

What is the name of your state? WI

Well we had our "final" court date in October my ex and I were awarded 50/50 every other week placement and joint custody. As of right now the case is closed, however we will have to file another motion this spring as our daughter will be starting school and with the distance between us the every other week placement will not work. The Judge is aware of this and told us at our last hearing that he will be keeping a close eye on the situation. However the GAL was dismissed.

Since October my ex know the GAL is no longer on our case, has been back to her old tricks. Her husband has had 3 warrants issues for his arrest AGAIN for not going to court (the Judge chasised them about this in court) and was arrested while our kids were there, they moved yet AGAIN making this the 9th time since October 2005, and are now being evicted AGAIN making this the SECOND time since last October 2005. She has also been breaking the court order which states "niether parent should be present at the exchanges, rather they they should have someone known to the children faclitate the exchange. The exchanges should not occur at either parents home". She thinks this only implies to me and has been picking up the kids. I'm debating on whether or not to file contempt because I don't want to appear petty to the Judge, as she does just pick them up at day care. But on the other hand rules are rules, and that is her biggest problem not following them.

My question is should I either wait to submit all of this information when I file the new motion to change placement in the spring and just let the information pile up since I have a feeling there will be alot more to come since we are only barely 2 months out of court. Or would it be out of line to send an "update" letter to the Judge? Since he did say he'd be keeping a "close eye on things"?

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: Or would it be out of line to send an "update" letter to the Judge?

A: Absolutely wrong and out of line. Google ex parte communication and educate yourself.

 

[CJane]

with the distance between us the every other week placement will not work.

What is the distance?

Since October my ex know the GAL is no longer on our case, has been back to her old tricks. Her husband has had 3 warrants issues for his arrest AGAIN for not going to court (the Judge chasised them about this in court) and was arrested while our kids were there, they moved yet AGAIN making this the 9th time since October 2005, and are now being evicted AGAIN making this the SECOND time since last October 2005.

Has she followed proper procedure as outlined in your order or state statute when moving?

She has also been breaking the court order which states "niether parent should be present at the exchanges, rather they they should have someone known to the children faclitate the exchange. The exchanges should not occur at either parents home". She thinks this only implies to me and has been picking up the kids. I'm debating on whether or not to file contempt because I don't want to appear petty to the Judge, as she does just pick them up at day care.

I would assume that the parents aren't supposed to be present so as to keep either of you from going postal on the other, correct? If this is true, and she's not picking them up from YOU, I don't think it would fly with the judge even though it's technically contempt.

But on the other hand rules are rules, and that is her biggest problem not following them.

Or would it be out of line to send an "update" letter to the Judge? Since he did say he'd be keeping a "close eye on things"?

I don't think you have much worth updating the court ON, really. And it's never appropriate to send a letter (or anything else) to the judge.

 

[cmykds]

Q: Or would it be out of line to send an "update" letter to the Judge?

A: Absolutely wrong and out of line. Google ex parte communication and educate yourself.

I am aware that I would have to send copies to all parties.

 

[cmykds]

What is the distance?



Has she followed proper procedure as outlined in your order or state statute when moving?



I would assume that the parents aren't supposed to be present so as to keep either of you from going postal on the other, correct? If this is true, and she's not picking them up from YOU, I don't think it would fly with the judge even though it's technically contempt.



I don't think you have much worth updating the court ON, really. And it's never appropriate to send a letter (or anything else) to the judge.

We are over an hour apart currently. The Judge stated that either one of us would have to move near the other or placement would change. I am not moving. I have ben established in my area for over 2 years and she moves every few months.

Originally she did not follow procedures when moving and moved out of state without notification that's how all of this started. Currently she has stayed with-in the guidelines because she just hops from apartment to apartment all within a few miles of the last. Our state is if they are moving more then 150 miles from the other parent or out of state they have to notify the court and the other parent and then the other parent has I think 15 days to contest it.

Our Judge actually requests we send him information we want reviewed but I didn't know if this would still apply since technically the case is closed.

 

[Silverplum]

I am aware that I would have to send copies to all parties.

You really should do as Senior Judge told you to do.

 

[CJane]

We are over an hour apart currently. The Judge stated that either one of us would have to move near the other or placement would change. I am not moving. I have ben established in my area for over 2 years and she moves every few months.

Assuming that the child attends school in your district - how far from the school is mom?
How far from the daycare is mom?

If the child attends in her district - how far from that school are you?
How far from daycare are you?

Would the child ride the bus from either home to school?
How long would the bus ride be?

Which school district is superior, or are they about the same?

Currently she has stayed with-in the guidelines because she just hops from apartment to apartment all within a few miles of the last. Our state is if they are moving more then 150 miles from the other parent or out of state they have to notify the court and the other parent and then the other parent has I think 15 days to contest it.

Then why bring it up?

Our Judge actually requests we send him information we want reviewed but I didn't know if this would still apply since technically the case is closed.

I wouldn't do it.

 

[seniorjudge]

You really should do as Senior Judge told you to do.

cmykids, most letters like that rarely make it to the judge if the clerk is halfway intelligent (and I have known some who were not).

The last thing a judge is going to do is read a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with a case that is not even active.

 

[cmykds]

Assuming that the child attends school in your district - how far from the school is mom?
How far from the daycare is mom?

If the child attends in her district - how far from that school are you?
How far from daycare are you?

Would the child ride the bus from either home to school?
How long would the bus ride be?

Which school district is superior, or are they about the same?



Then why bring it up?



I wouldn't do it.

Currently the way it works is when I have the kids our daughter is in pre-school and our son is in a 3 year old day care program. When they are will her they are not in anything. Supposedly no one in her area will accept them for every other week. So her husband watches the kids while she works.

The receiving parent is responsiable for providing the transporation of the kids. Our school districts would each be an hour away from the other as well. Daycare/pre-school is also an hour away from her currently but as I said they do not attend while they are with her.

The reason I bring up the moves is because my ex is very unstable, not holding a job more then a couple of months at a time, has domestic abuse in her home, that is what her husbands warrants for non appearance in court were for, she moves every couple of months, where as I have been established in my home and job and can provide an more stable environment for our children.

 

[ceara19]

Currently the way it works is when I have the kids our daughter is in pre-school and our son is in a 3 year old day care program. When they are will her they are not in anything. Supposedly no one in her area will accept them for every other week. So her husband watches the kids while she works.

The receiving parent is responsiable for providing the transporation of the kids. Our school districts would each be an hour away from the other as well. Daycare/pre-school is also an hour away from her currently but as I said they do not attend while they are with her.

The reason I bring up the moves is because my ex is very unstable, not holding a job more then a couple of months at a time, has domestic abuse in her home, that is what her husbands warrants for non appearance in court were for, she moves every couple of months, where as I have been established in my home and job and can provide an more stable environment for our children.

Was any of this brought up when you were in court a few months ago? At least some of these "problems" were going on prior to the last court date. If you were okay with the fact that mom moved 9 times in the year leading up to your last court date (and by okay, I mean you didn't address the problem in October), you can't come back next spring and say that you have a problem with it. The only "issues" that will be relevant are those that started AFTER the last court date. What I don't understand is WHY, knowing full well that you had no intention of moving closer to mom, you didn't push for a plan that would work on a long term basis.

 

[cmykds]

Was any of this brought up when you were in court a few months ago? At least some of these "problems" were going on prior to the last court date. If you were okay with the fact that mom moved 9 times in the year leading up to your last court date (and by okay, I mean you didn't address the problem in October), you can't come back next spring and say that you have a problem with it. The only "issues" that will be relevant are those that started AFTER the last court date. What I don't understand is WHY, knowing full well that you had no intention of moving closer to mom, you didn't push for a plan that would work on a long term basis.

Yes all of these issues were brought up at the last court hearing. The Judge and the GAL both basically chasised her and told her she and her husband needed to get their acts together, and said that her life is definately questionable but they were basically once again giving her the benefit of the doubt having just moved back to our state giving her a chance to establish herself, and because I did not have any hard core concrete evidence that she is unfit as a mother joint custody was awarded. I was pushing for a long term placement plan, both my ex and I were fine with this every other week placement for the time being but both was primary once the school year starts. The Judge said he could not make a ruling with regard to placement when school starts next fall because it was too far in advance, and that he'd be keeping a close eye on things and one of us would have to file a new motion for him to hear closer to that time.

 

[LdiJ]

Ok...clearly the judge does not believe that its in the children's best interest for the two of you to have much communication with each other, since the judge doesn't want the two of you handling the exchanges. That is a real shame because it makes it alot more difficult for the two of you to co-parent and to try to come to workable agreements.

However, if she is picking up the children at daycare she is not violating the order in my opinion. In that instance, the daycare center is the third party facilitating the exchange. Its very possible that the judge would consider you to be very petty for even bringing that up.

The other poster is correct that what you have to work with now, is what has happened and what will happen since the last order was made. Things that happened prior to that are pretty much irrelevant. The ideal situation would be for one of you to move closer to the other one (which the judge has already indicated). Logically, that ought to be mom since she is the one who is obviously freer to move. However, sadly, the two of you probably can't sit down to discuss that.

 

[tigger22472]

Prior to this action of having 50/50 what was the situation? Did mom have primary custody and you have standard visitation? If that is the case keep records of everything that has happened since the last court action and when you file in the spring bring the proof of things. The way it looks to me is that the judge is telling mom to get her Sh!t together or risk not having her children. This was likely his or her way of saying that. If she continues these actions then she will likely lose custody and you will be granted the primary.

A few things stand out that tell me these things but the main thing is that a judge ordered 50/50 custody to parents that obviously cannot communicate, whatever the reason my be. That is nearly unheard of.