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Young Heart

Guest
i am a 16 year old from New Jersey and am still living in my parents house. i am in my junior year of high school, and my parents and brother (25) want to move to arizona. i have many friends here, a boyfriend of a year, and i've been in a gifted and talented program since the 1st grade. i feel that the high school that i currently attend would do wonders on college applications, and feel that moving to arizona is not for me. i don't get along with my mother and feel that she is very emotionally abusive. i already have a family that would be willing to take me in, and the daughter happens to go to my school as well (we were in the same program since the 1st grade together). is there anything, legally, that I can do to keep from moving to arizona? quick responses would be appreciated. thank you. :confused:
 


Whyte Noise

Senior Member
If you want to stay behind while the rest of your family moves to another state, what you would need to do is to get your parents to sign over either custody or guardianship of you to this friend's parents.

Legally, what YOU would have to do if your parents aren't agreeable to signing over custody or guardianship of you to someone else, is to file for emancipation. What that is, is a legal process by which minors can attain legal adulthood before reaching the age at which they would normally be considered adults (this is called the "age of majority" which in NJ, is 18.) BUT.... NJ doesn't have any statutes on the books concerning a minor filing for emancipation. There have been instances where minors have gained emancipation in the municiple courts. It would be a long, drawn out process, not very pretty from what you say in your post, and you'd have to have a darn good reason for a judge to grant it.

Now, all that legal stuff being said.... You are still a minor. As such, still under the care and control of your parents. At 16, I thought I knew what was best for me too. Didn't want to do what my dad told me, I thought he was just out to make my life a living hell. But, now that I have my own children, I see exactly where he was coming from. Your parents probably have a good reason for moving to Arizona. Better job, living conditions, etc. I'm sure AZ has gifted programs as well. Just because you and your mom don't get along, is no reason to not go. You only get ONE set of parents, and trust me, friends, boyfriends, and school programs come and go, but parents are there for the long haul. My mother and I didn't get along well for a while either. But, when I was 13, she died suddenly from walking pneumonia. I have wished many many times that I could have told her how much I did love her, and that I knew she was only looking out for what was in my best interest, even if I didn't think of it as that. Your parents aren't moving out of spite towards you. Maybe it seems like that. Like they want to take you away from everything you know, friends, school, love.... but that isn't it at all. We parents try to do what we think is best for our kids. Well, most of us who are worth anything anyways. We don't intentionally hurt them.

Think long and hard about the decision you are making. What you are thinking about doing could do you more damage than good. Sure, you want to stay with what is familiar to you. Your school, your friends, your boyfriend. But.... is keeping all that worth the price of perhaps saying goodbye to your family? And is that price something that you'd be willing to pay?
 
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Young Heart

Guest
i wasn't going to get into details about my family life...i just wanted to know what i could do legally because it is what is best for me. where or how do i file for emancipation?
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
I didn't ask you to get into details about your family life. I gave you the legal info you asked for. Now, you want to know how to be emancipated? That's easy.

You're going to have to hire an attorney. You can't file the papers yourself. Why? Because you are a minor, and a minor doesn't have the legal capacity to enter into a contract. The petition must be filed by an adult on your behalf. (And your friends parents can't file on your behalf, because they are not YOUR parents or guardian.) That might make it hard for you to find an attorney that will take the case, too. And just so you know, it will cost you a couple of thousand of dollars for the attorney to do this. They will charge you at LEAST $500 up front as a retainer. This is, if you even qualify for emancipation. It will only be granted if certain conditions apply. You must be living separate from your parents, capable of self-support, (Read: EMPLOYED) be managing your own financial affairs, and the court will decide if emancipation is in your best interests. So, just because YOU think it's whats best for you, a judge sitting on a bench will ultimately decide if it is or not. So, you could actually pay money for that attorney for nothing. The judge could simply deny your request.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
"capable of self-support"

This doesn't mean that your friend's parents are willing to give you a place to stay, provide food, buy clothes, buy school supplies. It means you need to be able to pay for an apt, utilities, food, etc all on your own. Which isn't as easy as it sounds in NJ.
 
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Young Heart

Guest
actually

they are giving me a place to stay + food, supples, etc...all i need to know is how to file for emancipation or what else i could do...
 
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Young Heart

Guest
i had a feeling i'd get a bunch of 'angry mothers' responding to this...but thank you for your advice...i have MANY options in this matter...
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Young Heart said:
i had a feeling i'd get a bunch of 'angry mothers' responding to this...but thank you for your advice...i have MANY options in this matter...
MissouriGal gavre you a good rundown of what you need to do if you want to file for emancipation or if you want your friend's parents to care for you until you're of age. It has nothing to do with being mothers - angry or not. It's all about what the law requires of you. Your friend's parents providing you with room & board isn't going to cut it for emancipation, unless they're charging you fair market value for it. You're going to have to show a judge exactly how you're going to support yourself. Would you rather we told you that now, or that a judge told you that as he slams the gavel down and tells you to take a hike?
 
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njmom

Guest
LMAO@YOUNG!!!

Oh, to be YOUNG again, and KNOW...EVERYTHING!!....No wonder why she wants to stay behind, because she must not like to hear the truth, and about RULES and LAWS!!!...Sorry guys if I sound so harsh, it just pissed me off that after MissouriGal gave her all the info she needed, the got pissy!!.....Only other thing I wanted to say is GROW UP......and stop acting like a 10 year old YOUNG!
 

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