Quick Question

[slc_a]

[Virginia, Family Law]

So, to summarize my current situation my son has been having a lot of medical issues. I have taken him to many different specialists. I finally found an answer. He needs draining tubes put into both of his ears and he needs his adenoids taken out. I have physical custody of him with joint legal shared with the father (who lives in Wisconsin). Court order was made here in VA. I informed the father that our son will need to have this surgery and he threw a complete fit stating that I need HIS premission for our son to go through this surgery. And demanded that I have ALL of the doctors send every piece of medical paperwork they have on our son and a full letter written by each of the doctors that states the reasoning behind having this surgery done. He will not allow me to explain our sons medical reasons as to why he needs the surgery simply because "he doesn't trust my words".

Correct me if I'm wrong but, I thought with me having physical custody that I have more say so on what happens with/to our son? And with him having joint legal I am just suppose to let him know about medical, religious, and educational.

My legal question: Do I need his premission for surgery? What exactly is joint legal custody?

Thank you.

 

[LdiJ]

[Virginia, Family Law]

So, to summarize my current situation my son has been having a lot of medical issues. I have taken him to many different specialists. I finally found an answer. He needs draining tubes put into both of his ears and he needs his adenoids taken out. I have physical custody of him with joint legal shared with the father (who lives in Wisconsin). Court order was made here in VA. I informed the father that our son will need to have this surgery and he threw a complete fit stating that I need HIS premission for our son to go through this surgery. And demanded that I have ALL of the doctors send every piece of medical paperwork they have on our son and a full letter written by each of the doctors that states the reasoning behind having this surgery done. He will not allow me to explain our sons medical reasons as to why he needs the surgery simply because "he doesn't trust my words".

Correct me if I'm wrong but, I thought with me having physical custody that I have more say so on what happens with/to our son? And with him having joint legal I am just suppose to let him know about medical, religious, and educational.

My legal question: Do I need his premission for surgery? What exactly is joint legal custody?

Thank you.

Joint legal custody means that you have to agree on major decisions. Ordinary day to day decisions while the child is with you do not have to be agreed upon. Surgery is a major decision. Is dad's motivation for wanting all of this information due to concerns that its not in the child's best interest or is he a control freak, or is this something that he doesn't want to pay for? His motivation will be important in determining where to proceed from here.

Part of what he is asking for (full medical records) is reasonable. A full letter written by EACH of the doctors is likely something the doctors would decline to provide. His primary care physician might agree to write a letter or the actual doctor that will perform the procedure might agree to write a letter (but would probably think that the notes in the file should be sufficient), but asking every doctor involved to write a letter is NOT reasonable.