Really just need some unbiased opinions

[txrose1998]

What is the name of your state? TX

My sister is the NCP of a 13 year old girl. She was scheduled to have her for weekend visitation today. Upon arriving to pick her up, the stepmom reported that daughter had been in the room crying saying she did want to go with her mom. We are figuring she is upset upon learning that her mom and stepdad are getting divorced. Or it could just be teenage agnst presenting itself. Either way, my sister told her that if she could not tell her and her father in person what was wrong that she needed to write it down and get it to them tomorrow. She also told her that this was not something that she would be able to pull all the time. And then gave her a hug and left.

I remember pulling this same stuff with my mother and father after my parent's divorce. As I recall, I just was not handling the change and the pressure of the teenage years so well. But my parents had just divorced during those years and my sister and her ex-husband have been divorced since she was three.

Anyways, what I am wondering is....what is the best way to handle this situation?? Do you force them into the car? Drag them kicking and screaming? Try to talk to them and change their minds?? My sister is at a loss and, of course, very sad her daughter did not want to be with her.

Any advice would be great. Thanks!!

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state? TX

My sister is the NCP of a 13 year old girl. She was scheduled to have her for weekend visitation today. Upon arriving to pick her up, the stepmom reported that daughter had been in the room crying saying she did want to go with her mom. We are figuring she is upset upon learning that her mom and stepdad are getting divorced. Or it could just be teenage agnst presenting itself. Either way, my sister told her that if she could not tell her and her father in person what was wrong that she needed to write it down and get it to them tomorrow. She also told her that this was not something that she would be able to pull all the time. And then gave her a hug and left.

I remember pulling this same stuff with my mother and father after my parent's divorce. As I recall, I just was not handling the change and the pressure of the teenage years so well. But my parents had just divorced during those years and my sister and her ex-husband have been divorced since she was three.

Anyways, what I am wondering is....what is the best way to handle this situation?? Do you force them into the car? Drag them kicking and screaming? Try to talk to them and change their minds?? My sister is at a loss and, of course, very sad her daughter did not want to be with her.

Any advice would be great. Thanks!!

I think your sister handled it very well. She let her daughter know that she understood if she is having a problem talking in person, and gave her an excellant way to let her feelings be known by telling her that she can write it down. I think she also took the right step in letting the daughter know that she's not going to force her to come this time, but this would not be allowed to become a habit. I think that she showed her daughter that she truly loves her and wants to help her. I hope things work out for her.

 

[Ohiogal]

On an emotional level she did the correct thing. On a legal level, quite frankly she should have told junior to get her butt in the car.
To help her child though, it may be time for said teenager to go to counseling.

 

[txrose1998]

Thanks for the replies OG and Gracie.
I do think you are right about the counseling part, OG. It is probably long overdue.