Reason to Cease Visitation?

[lnscott]

What is the name of your state? Indiana

My daughter goes to my ex-husbands grandmother's house every other week. My ex-husband lives 3 hours away and he takes his visitation time with our daughter to also spend time with this family.

The problem is this. His grandmother's house has a BAD roach problem. They've tried bombing it, but it never does any good (probably because thier habits don't change) - they have boxes everywhere, etc. Well, a few months ago we found a dead roach in my daughter's room and then a week or two later they sent a box of stuff home with 3-4 roaches in the box!! At that point, we started limiting what she was bringing home, but still see a roach on occasion.

Here's the question. My husband wants to stop her from going over there altogether. Personally, I like his (my ex's) family and his grandmother's in her 80's and I'm afraid this would be the sort of thing that would kill her (so to speak). But, I don't even know if this is something we can do (legally). Does anyone know?

I'm in the process of seeing in my ex can convince them to start having someone spray, but I just found out my husband and I are having a baby and I don't want this problem to get out of control. But, if they refuse to hire someone - what are our options?

 

[Zephyr]

I am not sure that roaches constitute a visitation issue- otherwise half of New York City wouldn't see their kids but you are definitely right to limit what come into your house from theirs

 

[CJane]

Your options are as follows:

1) Make no attempt to prevent visitation.
2) Stop letting the child bring anything from Gma's house into your house.
3) Tell your husband that you dearly love him, and you respect his opinion, but he has no say whatsoever in the visitation arrangements between you and your ex.
4) Buy roach traps for your own house and plan to be paying an exterminator soon.

 

[CJane]

I am not sure that roaches constitute a visitation issue- otherwise half of New York City wouldn't see their kids but you are definitely right to limit what come into your house from theirs

LMAO

Not to mention how hard those bastages are to get rid of once they're established. When I first got married, we lived in my grandparent's house (they were in a nursing home). Admittedly, Gma was a terrible housekeeper and the house was NOT clean and there was always a roach problem the whole time I was growing up. But I kept that house CLEAN - bleached the kitchen and bathrooms top to bottom 3x/week, ripped out all the carpet and kept the wooden floors clean, emptied the attic and kept it clean and dusted, etc. We still had roaches. Called an exterminator. Still had roaches. Wouldn't surprise me if that house is still infested. I'm convinced they come in through the floor drain in the basement and there's no way to get rid of them.

 

[Just Blue]

Not legal advice...just YUCK!..EWWWW... ...poor kid!

 

[Zephyr]

Not legal advice...just YUCK!..EWWWW... ...poor kid!

Not legal you say! you mean yucky isn't a proper legal arguement?

 

[lnscott]

Your options are as follows:

1) Make no attempt to prevent visitation.
2) Stop letting the child bring anything from Gma's house into your house.
3) Tell your husband that you dearly love him, and you respect his opinion, but he has no say whatsoever in the visitation arrangements between you and your ex.
4) Buy roach traps for your own house and plan to be paying an exterminator soon.

I didn't think there was a legal cause of action - but I wasn't sure because of the health issue that a problem such as this brings. Thanks for your help in answering this question.

 

[Just Blue]

Not legal you say! you mean yucky isn't a proper legal arguement?

No...Although it should be...

 

[lnscott]

LMAO

Not to mention how hard those bastages are to get rid of once they're established. When I first got married, we lived in my grandparent's house (they were in a nursing home). Admittedly, Gma was a terrible housekeeper and the house was NOT clean and there was always a roach problem the whole time I was growing up. But I kept that house CLEAN - bleached the kitchen and bathrooms top to bottom 3x/week, ripped out all the carpet and kept the wooden floors clean, emptied the attic and kept it clean and dusted, etc. We still had roaches. Called an exterminator. Still had roaches. Wouldn't surprise me if that house is still infested. I'm convinced they come in through the floor drain in the basement and there's no way to get rid of them.

When my exhusband and i were married, we moved into his grandmothers old house (she moved to a town 20 minutes away). We eventually got rid of the roaches, but it took removing their favorite hiding place (a peg board she hung her skillets on) and placing 3-4 bug bombs in each room of the house - TWICE!!! I always swore I'd never live with those things again and it upsets me to find myself in between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to cease visitation between my daughter and her grandma or my daughter and her father. At the same time, I know how unhealthy it is to have these around too and no amount of prevention, bombing, spraying, etc. is going to matter if these things continue coming home with her (whether it's hiding in her clothes, etc.).

 

[lnscott]

No...Although it should be...

I have to agree - especially since my daughter has had respiratory problems in the past (she's only 6) and roaches can irritate those problems.

 

[LdiJ]

When my exhusband and i were married, we moved into his grandmothers old house (she moved to a town 20 minutes away). We eventually got rid of the roaches, but it took removing their favorite hiding place (a peg board she hung her skillets on) and placing 3-4 bug bombs in each room of the house - TWICE!!! I always swore I'd never live with those things again and it upsets me to find myself in between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to cease visitation between my daughter and her grandma or my daughter and her father. At the same time, I know how unhealthy it is to have these around too and no amount of prevention, bombing, spraying, etc. is going to matter if these things continue coming home with her (whether it's hiding in her clothes, etc.).

Here is my suggestion. Buy some clothing from a thift store or goodwill to leave at grandma's house, and send your daughter with only the clothing on her back, and allow her to bring home nothing from there. (or if something must be brought home, like a birthday or xmas gift, then thoroughly inspect things...OUTDOORS before bringing it into your house or car.

 

[shell007]

Darn Roaches....they are everywhere. My neighbor has a housekeeper, house is spic & span clean 24/7, and last week she found a "roach" floating in the kitchen sink!

 

[CJane]

Darn Roaches....they are everywhere. My neighbor has a housekeeper, house is spic & span clean 24/7, and last week she found a "roach" floating in the kitchen sink!

I dunno if other parts of the country have these things or not, but we have what we've always called 'wood roaches'. They're ginormous roaches that live in trees and stuff. They can FLY. Do you know how creepy it is to be putting a log into the woodburner/fireplace and have a damn ****roach fly up into your face and then take off flying around the house?

Just don't ever watch the movie Creep Show.

 

[shell007]

I dunno if other parts of the country have these things or not, but we have what we've always called 'wood roaches'. They're ginormous roaches that live in trees and stuff. They can FLY. Do you know how creepy it is to be putting a log into the woodburner/fireplace and have a damn ****roach fly up into your face and then take off flying around the house?

Just don't ever watch the movie Creep Show.

YUK!!! I hope I never experience it, but I guess it's always possible.

Just another case where having "roaches" does NOT MEAN that one is dirty or has a filthy home.